There are 3 things, which scare the heck out of single heterosexual men. 1.The Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction. (The next lady we meet) 2.Magic Johnson announcement that he had HIV. (He's just an everyday homeboy who proved to us, we could be next.) 3.Bisexual or closet homosexual men. (Cause we now know they really think they can flip a man and a bro might wind up havin' to catch a case).

Up until yesterday. I never really cared much about what homosexual men did in their bedroom. I was nonchalant because as a horny young man. I simply thought, “Oh well more women for me”. I reasoned that the majority of gay girls were not 100% lesbian but bisexual females with a lot of hedonism in their personality. I was therefore ok with gay females cause I figured that one day I could get a ménage a trios out of the situation. (2 ladies only).

I never thought much about the bisexual dudes. I figured that homosexuality is mankind's way of population control (Not). I figured that since a sexual union between a man and woman is a divine expression whereby we can reproduce ourselves. Any other unions incapable of this must fall short of the intended and original purpose.

Since then I have learned that the planets population is still growing out of control. So that means that the homosexuals are not doing their job of slowing down the population growth thus here comes my double-edged sword to paper. So it's time to start Hatin'

The population is still growing because the homosexual men are reproducing, double dipping and scaring the ladies. They know they are in a high risk group. Some of them are getting married, having kids. So I am feeling like a Black Rob track (“Like Whoa”). What part of the game is this? There are approximately 3 types of gay guys.

1)The Flame, he's aiight no hatin' on him. He is usually a hairdresser and you can hear the woman in his voice, he's usually speaks with a lisp and he is so effeminate that we say he is “flaming”. He usually has a funny cameo role in movies, he will hang with women but he don't want anything else from her except maybe her man. He could care less what others think about him. It is said that he prefers homosexual or bisexual men for boyfriends. He is the main creator of there subculture. Popularizing terms like “boygina” for other gays. Ever heard one say “I am going to get some boygina tonight”. Yucky, but funny.

2)The Plain Homosexual, he 's aiight also. He can be anybody a doctor, educator, policeman or Ricky Martin. He doesn't announce his sexuality but if you have one for a friend you will realize that he is gay, long before he realizes that you are straight. He can be a powerful lobbyist for their cause. His family recognizes his preference and over time others will also, sometimes you might forget he is gay so watch the gay jokes in his company he wont laugh. Fellas, if he ever gets cute with you, you better not laugh either.

3)The bisexual - homo, I resent this joker. The bad part is that he is the hardest to identify. He could be anybody ya husband, fiancée, pastor, teammate, neighborhood thug or boss. This clown is misrepresenting his sexuality and lifestyle. He might be the most vehement gay-basher, a womanizer or the man who wears dark shades in the club to check out other men. 'Denial' is not a river in Africa but his middle name. He can't make up his mind what team he is on. He denies that he is gay. We have no idea how much of the gay population he represents or why he is like this cause he doesn't identify with his own profile. He is “in the closet” living a double life. Some might say that an editorial like this, keeps them “in the closet”. My reply is. “Not true, if my sword could do that, he would not be in a closet but in a 'ocean cellar'”. So I write to him now, to let him know that if you are reading this and you sleeping with men and women you need to stop that nonsense! Pick a side and stay there. Seek help or honesty. Ladies there are two ways to protect yourself against him, make men use condoms and get to know a man a lil' better before you give us the punane, unless that man's goes by the name of Bruce Banter. -Nuff said

Released: July 2001

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