Usually when I write, it’s inspired by something I’ve read, seen, or heard. Not this time. Infidelity is something that just IS. I think that both males and females are clueless about certain aspects of the opposite sex, so I decided to put ya’ll up on some G[ame] about the facts of life that your family forgot to tell you.

I will venture forth to say that all men have cheated or will cheat if given the opportunity. If you dispute that fact then you are an idiot. If you are still dumb enough to think that your man doesn’t cheat; either he hasn’t yet, your dumb ass just doesn’t know about it yet, or your “bitch’s intuition” [i.e. Spidey -sense] has a glitch. Now that we know they all cheat, the way you handle the situation will dictate whether he will become a habitual offender or remains with just one strike.

If you catch your man cheating, is leaving the relationship the answer? And since all men cheat, won’t you just end up leaving the next guy too? So at what point does a woman decide to stick it out? Your best bet is to take it slow. Don’t forgive prematurely. If you can’t deal with the fact that he was unfaithful, then leave his ass and don’t look back. There are some guys out there that just aren’t good for us. But realize, that you will go through the same shit with another fellow. So make sure you really don’t want to be with this cat before you let him go. Consider the following: does he have EP (earning potential), is he good in bed, and will he carry your purse for you or go get you tampons. If the outlook on these is good, work with the kid…

If you realize that you do want him back because and you think the relationship is salvageable, he’s a keeper. Then it’s best to stage the “mock -break up” just to let him know that you do have other options and that you won’t hesitate to find someone else. However do not allow the “mock-break up” to last longer than 2 - 3 weeks. Men are weak, if you wait too long, they will find another warm orifice just to deal with “losing you”. For some reason men really believe that a casual sexual encounter will actually make them feel better. So don’t sleep on that. Make him sweat and make him sorry but don’t make him wait too long.

Men need to stop saying, “but I didn’t love her, we just had sex.” That shit doesn’t matter to us. Just for you guys out there that don’t know, (which will probably be all of you reading this), when a man cheats, a woman will internalize it and blame herself for not being able to “keep her man [satisfied]”. You don’t know why she can’t shut up "bitchin" about it and can’t stop crying about it when it meant nothing to you. Although we realize that the other female was simply an attractive sperm receptacle and you were drunk, that doesn’t make us feel better about you or the relationship. Guys can’t bend their minds around this principal. Men tire of hearing about their indiscretions repeatedly but because women are communicators, you did the crime - now you have to do the time. So sit back, appear to be sorry, and listen even if your ears begin to bleed. Your woman is merely talking her way to recovery. If you lose patience now during her “rehab” you will appear to be an unapologetic, insensitive asshole.

Trust me, the 90 seconds (or 3 hours - you know how ya’ll lie) is not worth the pain you’re gonna cause. If your woman was not sleeping with you before she finds out that you’ve cheated, she’s certainly not going to start after she finds out either. Apparently, if she’s not giving you something that she used to - you’ve fucked up somewhere down the line and instead of going out and hunting down some slut - your best bet (if you even think you love her) is to get to the bottom of why your woman is not giving it up.

Guy lesson #3: The coochie is connected to the heart, the heart is connected to the brain. Any derailment on the track and the shop is closed.

In this respect women are totally different than men. Male genitalia is not connected to anything and neither is your brain, and you don’t grow a heart until you’re at least 25.

Women are challenged with a double-standard to; “be a lady in the bedroom and a freak in the bedroom”. We assume this will keep the men in our lives happy, healthy, and faithful. NOT! Everyday young women are being hoodwinked and bamboozled by aunts, mothers, and sisters into believing this bullshit. It is only when we discover his unfaithfulness, we are told “he is just being a man [by cheating].” Then we find out that dad did it to mom, and grandpa cheated on grandma, and all this crazy shit that we aren’t really prepared to hear. Women are being lied to. What they need to be telling us as young women is that all men cheat and it has nothing to do with us. We need to be told that if he doesn’t get “it” from us, that he will get “it” from someone else. AND even if he does get “it” from us he will STILL get “it” from someone else if the opportunity presents itself because he’s a greedy bastard.

God did not make you smart enough to out think a woman, especially multiple women.

Some men actually believe that they can date 2 women until either they find out about each other or it becomes necessary to cut one off. By this time the shit has already blown up in his face. If you haven’t told your lady about the other woman - your flat tires, busted windows, and harassing messages will. It will take a few times before he understands that no matter what he does, that if he cheats, he will eventually get caught. Cheating is like a speeding ticket, you don’t get caught each and every time that you speed but one day, you are going to get a ticket. It’s karma baby.

Now the Down Side of Infidelity

Me, personally, I wouldn’t want to be single again. There are too many imposters out there. Hetero men that are child molesters, male and female teachers sleeping with their students, women who aren’t really gay but are “bi-curious”, women who like women but want them to appear to be male, undercover gay men in relationships with straight women, which in turn has African-American women the fastest growing population to contract HIV/AIDS via heterosexual contact.

Peep this:

A man sees a fine woman. He spit, she bit and he finds out that she’s newly single. She doesn’t disclose any details and he is relieved because he only wants to hit it anyway. Guy is in a relationship with an unsuspecting, I’ve-got-the-job-the-degree- the-perfect-guy-now-I-want-to-have-a-baby-before-I’m-45-because-it’s-taken- me-20- years-to-achieve-this-perfect-life-and-I-hope-our-baby-doesn’t-have down-syndrome-because-I’m-too-old-to have-a-kid ass type chick. Guy has sex with the girl he just met after only knowing her a week. What he doesn’t know, she’s newly single cuz her ex-boyfriend Triple OG Bobby Johnson is back in prison with his he-bitch Peachez.

Bruh, you just threw your dick in the crap game along with your lady, who maybe a bit idealistic and shallow - but none the less she didn’t ask for this. If you are lucky to find out about the “love triangle” you and your woman must now sit stone faced in a clinic “just to make sure everything is OK.”

This is not just some shit I’ve thought of, this shit happens everyday. And don’t be stupid and think that only brothers with criminal backgrounds like a little MAN-gina. Don’t sleep on the fact that gay African-American males are some of the most successful, accomplished business men, entertainers, and athletes in our culture. There is no way to tell who is gay, who is infected, and who is on the level.

I know I strayed a bit from the infidelity issue, but did I really? Did I go off on a tangent or did I take it a bit further than people do mentally when they are about to be unfaithful? Did I get totally off the subject or did I just take you there?

As you know, I could careless about hate mail but feel free to send it if it will make you feel better.

Bitter B

Released: November 19th, 2003

The views and opinions expressed herein by the author do not necessarily represent the opinions or position of Playahata.com.