Slick Rick once said, ‘Hey kid, walk straight, master your high’. But nowadays when I look at a music video or some awards program, what do I see? I’ll tell ya what I see, one of these young, newfangled rappers with a bottle in one hand and a cup in the other. Okay, we know you’re old enough to drink. Okay, you can afford Cristal. I’m impressed –NOT. I mean, it’s cool if you like to have a drink or whatever, but at some point, what ELSE are you about? I mean, your “hot” single is about how you smoke weed for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I’m not talking about your odd weed reference here or there, I mean ENTIRE RECORDINGS blatantly dedicated to smoking marijuana (I say blatantly because, of course, the tune Puff The Magic Dragon was indeed an ode to the cannabis leaf). On top of that you and your boys are dancing around a bottle of (insert random Jay-Z sponsored alcohol here).

My beef is this: do these cats ever stop to think about the impressionable twelve year old who’s going to be watching that video? What about the kid who’s going to be bombarded with those lyrics incessantly during a six hour span while listening to some radio DJ constantly bark about how “hot” this joint is? I guess what I’m talking about is responsibility. You’ve sold millions of records, and your constituency has made you wealthy enough to actually afford some of those things that you talk so cheesily about owning. Okay, so now you’re rich and you can purchase all the gaudy shit in the world. Now what you need to do so that you grow personally along with your wealth is to look out for these kids that basically paid for your house and your seven cars. I mean, how many times do I have to see Nelly on Access Hollywood (yes, I watch the celebrity worship programs JUST to pinpoint the madness) on the red carpet of some event, being interviewed for NATIONAL television with a drink in his hand? He’s already got that funky mid-western drawl going on, add a quart of brand X into his system and I can only decipher every third word. I know you’re an adult, you’re grown, you’re getting paid and you can do what you want, but I’msayin’ tho. Someone from some show is about to jam a microphone in your face, use your head, and pass your drink off to one of your people OFF CAMERA (you’re a rapper, so you’re BOUND to be carrying at least a six-man entourage).

And what is it with these cats that trip out onto the stage at AWARDS SHOWS with drink in hand? It’s a celebrity function and there’s a green room backstage so I’m sure there’s plenty of alcohol available. I’ve sat and watched the MTV Just Because Awards, and seen Jeffrey Atkins (I refuse to call him Ja Rule) come out onstage to present an award, with a DRINK! What in the holy hell is THAT shit about?! You mean to tell me you can’t wait until you’ve presented your award to get a drink? Is there anyone, an adult, with some professional common sense or savvy that can advise these youngsters on some professional protocol or form of etiquette?

I remember being a younger cat and hanging out on the block with the fellas drinking brews and whatnot, but the thing is, whenever somebody’s Moms came along from work we made sure not to be flashing whatever we were drinking in her presence. It was about respect, but I suppose that at some level it was also because we knew we really had no business standing out in front of the building getting drunk. I guess that little extra bit goes out to all the young cats who hang out in front of buildings all across America, proudly brandishing their rebellion by boldly drinking in your face.

I know that rappers influence young cats in terms of alcohol and brands of choice because I’d never even heard of Brass Monkey until I heard the Beastie Boys praise their favorite alcohol on Licensed To Ill (a definite hip-hop classic). But for sure, young and impressionable, definitely curious, my friends and I went out and bought some. On more than one occasion to be precise. It makes me wonder about the role that rappers play in raising the next generation of hip-hop fans. I mean, do they even care about which way they may be influencing young people or is the bottom line merely about turning over the greenbacks? Where are we leading our future constituents, if rappers merely seek to snatch every buck from under an empty Belvedere bottle? Of course there’s celebrating and good times in rap, but there has to be a line drawn, and it has to be drawn by the artists. Because ultimately, what has a rapper become or shown himself to be but a wealthy cat with a drinking problem? In the end, it’s a question of responsibility. Now all we need is for some of these cats to step up and be responsible.

GumbyDammit!