Most people knew about the Rwanda genocide after it happened, and in the film we see that even those who knew, didn't care or care to do anything. Exempliefied by Nick Nolte, A U.N. lead telling him (not verbatim), "sorry, we are abandoning you, the West does not care about you all, you're not even a nigger, you are cared about even less because your African." The indictments go from President Clinton, Kofi Anan, the French, the British and even the Belgians who started it all. We see the viciousness of crazed Rwandan Hutus going after Tutsi's, which is made even harder to understand because to the eye there is little to no difference in the groups. But in the Rwandan culture those with straighter noses and who were taller were part of a privileged class intentionally created by the Belgians, a minority group called Tutsi and who the Hutu's call the cockroaches. Of course the creation of a privileged class caused resentment and the "94 Rwanda Massacre" showed just how far that resentment could go. The film captures as much of the horror as American audiences will stomach in their drama films. The fact that it's also a love story helps soften some of the darker episodes of the film.

I had never heard of Paul Rusesabagina until this movie but I know that Cheadle was on point because the real Rusesabagina said he was. You can tell that Cheadle was into the role, he said there were elements of the hotel manager's personality with which he could totally identify. Cheadle called him diplomatic, driven to help people and committed to family. He was more than diplomatic, he was royal, graceful, and unflinching even under the most adverse conditions. Rusesabagina is slick at the beginning of the film, a hustler in the business world, 24/7 he keeps up the appearance of what one movie critic calls "impenetrable luxury" at the Hotel des Mille Collines in Kigali. Even when he resents your ideology, he more than tolerates you if you can make him some money. Initially he's an extreme capitalist. Even as his family, neighbors are being killed all around him, prompted by battle cries of ethnic cleansing on the radio, he refuses to help anyone but his family. Thankfully he evolves into more of a humanitarian. Even when Rusesabagina agrees to begin hiding Tutsi refugees inside the hotel, he's still primarily concerned with appearance and toting the company line.

This is a movie that some may feel embarrassed watching at times. Cheadles knows it so much so that he said he is often asked if he is concerned audiences may feel guilty after seeing Hotel Rwanda, to which he remarked "I don't mind, if it is a jumping point into the next question, 'what can I do?' As long as that question is not answered by an apathetic, 'I can't do anything about it."' Despite what you know about this revolting episode in history audiences will be educated by the experience as it is very educational and inspirational even if you were busy checking for O.J. Simpson when it happened. - Nuff Said

Starring: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L Jackson, Jason Lee, Elizabeth Peña

Directed by Brad Bird

Produced by John Walker (II)

Written by Brad Bird

Distributed by Disney/Pixar

Release Date: November 5th, 2004

Synopsis: 'The Incredibles' follows the adventures of a family of former superheroes rediscovering the true source of their powers - in one another. Once one of the world's top masked crime-fighters, Bob Parr (AKA Mr. Incredible) fought evil and saved lives on a daily basis. But fifteen years later, he and his wife Helen (a famous former superhero in her own right) have been forced to take on civilian identities and retreat to the suburbs. Today they live as mere mortals and lead all-too-ordinary lives with their children... who go out of their way to appear "normal." As a clock-punching insurance man, the only thing Bob fights these days is boredom and a bulging waistline. Itching for action, the sidelined superhero gets his chance when a mysterious communication summons him to a remote island for a top secret assignment. Now, with the fate of the world hanging in the balance, the family must come together and once again find the fantastic in their family life.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: A-

Even if I did not have kids, I would have went to see this movie on the good word of mouth of friends. Not often does an animated movie deal with midlife crisis, marital dysfunction, child neglect, impotence fears, and being stuck doing a job that is not you passion. But The Incredibles -- the latest in the line of films from Pixar (A Bug's Life, Toy Story 1 and 2, Finding Nemo) -- is not like any animated movie I have ever seen. While delivering the goods as a rip-roaring action-adventure and in the process rocketing the art of animation to new heights of imagination, humor and wonder, director-writer Brad Bird has crafted a film that breaks fresh ground and defies fogy rules. For starters, there's no talking fish, insects or toys, hurrah for that , this one is not even powered by celebrity voices outside of Samuel Jackson's though it could have been as there were many superheroes flashed, and consequently many other opportunities. I wish we could have seen more of the other superheroes. It's too bad that the only one we really see is Samuel L. Jackson's a.k.a. Frozone and unfortunately they never show his wife, we only hear her loud voice - that was a bad move - but it was one of the few bad moves. 

On the surface, "The Incredibles" is a goof on superhero comics it's James Bond, Indiana Jones and the X-Men all rolled into one kick-out-the-jams spectacle. Underneath, it's a critique of modern American uniformity. Mr. Incredible is forced to retire, not because of age or obsolescence, but because of trial lawyers seeking damages for his unsolicited good deeds; he's in the same position as the Boy Scout who helps the little old lady across the street when she doesn't want to go. What his society needs is not super-deeds but tort reform. "They keep finding new ways," he sighs, "to celebrate mediocrity." Anyone who has seen a Bond movie will make the connection between Syndrome's island hideout and the headquarters of various Bond villains. "The Incredibles" also has a character inspired by Q, Bond's gadget-master. This is Edna Mode, known as E and voiced by Brad Bird, who also wrote and directed. She's a horn-rimmed little genius who delivers a hilarious lecture on the reasons why Mr. Incredible does not want a cape on his new uniform; capes can be as treacherous as it proves to be a factor in the villians downfall. I enjoyed this more than my kids and when it hits DVD I will definitely get it.

Starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, James Cromwell, Bruce Greenwood, Alan Tudyk

Directed by Alex Proyas

Produced by Topher Dow, John Davis, Laurence Mark, Will Smith

Written by Jeff Vintar, Hillary Seitz, Akiva Goldsman, Isaac Asimov

Distributed by 20th Century Fox

Release Date: July 16th, 2004

Synopsis: Will Smith stars in this action thriller inspired by the classic short story collection by Isaac Asimov and brought to the big screen by director Alex Proyas (Dark City, The Crow). In the year 2035, robots are an everyday household item and everyone trusts them, except one slightly paranoid detective (Smith) investigating what he alone believes is a crime perpetrated by a robot. The case leads him to discover a far more frightening threat to the human race.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B+

Don’t get it twisted. This is not the I, Robot that you or your parents read about. Isaac Asimov's 1950s book title is used but not any specific short story that he wrote. This is the Remix with Will Smith. From what I can tell they took a few short stories from the book and made 1, but a completely different version from anything Asimov wrote. They stayed with the Asimov theme in which his robots get themselves intertwined with the replacement of man while trying to help man be better at doing nothing, but making robots better, I guess it’s a logical contradiction. They did keep some Asimov stuff like the 3 robot laws which are integral to the plot. The laws are (1) a robot may not allow a human being to come to harm, (2) a robot must obey human orders except where those orders conflict with the first law, (3) a robot must protect its own existence except where that conflicts with the first and second laws.

These simple ideas help the plot evolve into something very unique but also very familiar. Its bad enough that many think this film is some sort of theft from the Terminator and Matrix stories however this film has more in common with Steven Spielberg's Artificial Intelligence (A.I), aggressively evolving themes like Lawnmower Man and A.I., but it’s all related anyway. The scene is Chicago, 2035 and technology has relieved man from drudgery so much that it is annoying. People don’t do many basic fun task 4 themselves anymore, i.e. walking their dogs, driving, cooking. Will’s character is a guy who just doesn’t understand “why things are the way they are”. He’s a throwback type of guy who feels that mankind has become to dependent on technology, especially robots. He is still rocking 1970’s Converse All Star sneakers although the film says that they are vintage 2004 Converse. If you're old enough to remember those cloth kicks you know that they offer no ankle support, but Will is doing all sort of super action stunts in this film and his converse don’t give out until like the mid point. This was definitely some intended product placement going on here, but I just don’t see those ankle busters making a comeback even with the free advertising. It could have been innocent but I noticed product placement in the name of the robot company in the movie, which was U.S. Robotics, the most prestigious modern computer manufacturer in the World. I might be getting carried away but I swear the CEO of the robot-producing corporation was Bill Gates. The humans in this film are not really that likeable and it kind of makes you want to vote for the robots to win. The female co-star to Will is Dr. Susan Calvin whose job at U.S. Robotics is "to make the robots seem more human, in tech terms she is a robotic anthropomorphist doctor who is so anal she is sickening. Will’s character is borderline manic-depressive. Will is a more aggressive version of his Independence Day Character and (the only reason this did not come out that weekend is because nobody wanted to go up against Spiderman 2). This character is much more serious than the characters that he has played in the past. The concept is that the robots aren’t the problem; the technology on whole is not the problem either. It’s the limits of human logic that are the problem and essentially we are our own worst enemy. We all know this but of course we need Hollywood to reinforce this to us that is why we like these man vs machine films. Ironically in the end a CGI robot named Sunny steals the show from all the human actors. I think this may be telling us something.

Starring: Cedric the Entertainer, Vanessa L. Williams, Solange Knowles, Vanessa A. Williams, Bow Wow Wow

Directed by Christopher Erskin

Produced by Eric C. Rhone, Cedric the Entertainer, Paul Hall, Wendy Park, Eric Rhone

Written by Todd R. Jones, Earl Richey Jones

Distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures

Release Date: April 7th, 2004

Synopsis: Even the onboard navigation system has a meltdown on Nate Johnson (Cedric The Entertainer) and his family's cross-country trek to their annual family reunion/grudge match. Reluctantly along for the ride are Nate's wife (Vanessa Williams), who's only in it for the kids; their rapper-wannabe son (Bow Wow); their teenage daughter (Solange Knowles) who's fashioned herself as the next Lolita; and their youngest (Gabby Soleil), whose imaginary dog Nate just can't seem to keep track of. Can the Johnsons survive each other and all the obstacles the road throws at them to make it to Caruthersville, Missouri? Can they find Missouri?

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: D+

Johnson Family Coonin' - I am going to be straight with ya. I left the theatre feeling that Black comedy today has more problems than Black comedy of Amos and Andy era because the coonin' they did then was obviously ass backwards and an unrealistic portrayal of who we are, that you could totally dismiss it all. Nowadays this stereotypical comedy has an eerie self hating humor going on that is subtle yet in your face and we pretend we don't notice it. That doesn't mean its not happening and continuing to gain momentum. Some of it is something to laugh at and some is not. This movie borrows its idea from the Chevy Chase genre of family vacation films but it is supposed to be a Black version. The problem is that the characters are conveniently stereotypical African American when it comes to lampooning them. The humor is supposed to look at African American culture, specifically family interactions. In this comedy we are being laughed at not portrayed in a humorous way. Big difference in the two.

There are many examples and you probably have seen a few of them on the commercial. For instance Lil Bow Wow's character treats his father Cedric the Entertainer likes his homeboy. He tosses his favorite CDs out the car window and Cedric just accepts it, I mean Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye CDs tossed out a moving car by a teenage kid - the stereotype and likely reality is that he's getting pummeled after the first CD was flung and he tossed 3, not even "Wayne Brady" is allowing that sort of nonsense. In general Black parents don't play that sort of "timeout "crap or that we on equal pairing as our kids. Lil Bow would have gotten phucked up and Cedric would have been livid instead of discussing it with his wife Vanessa Williams in an emotionless discussion about what's wrong with today's kids. For some reason they showed about 10 close ups on Vanessa Williams face and her skin is torrid, I seen her on those dermatology advertisements on late night TV and now I see why. I guess they wanted the expectantly black viewer ship to awe off her light eyes because its obvious by the continuing annoying objectifying lines such as fine, red bone, pretty, high yellow "heffa" this or that, that the writers of this movie (don't know if they black or white but the latter is expected in this case) are stuck in a time warp and a regional conundrum of slang. Please spare those of us whose can't laugh at the self-hating rhetoric that says that each family has one of them and they always should get a lot of screen time. The miscegenation is furthered in the casting of characters. It is unforgivably excluding a whole segment of brown sisters as the eye catchers or object of men affections. If you browner than a paper bag in this movie you are a total hoochie or have a mammy image like Ced's mom. Movie after movie they churn out the same visuals and do the same thing in casting. This shit is getting embarrassing and divisive. We stay silent and wonder what's wrong in the community. Nowadays they use teen celebrity of Solange Knowles and Bow Wow to lure young males and females into movies houses then bombard the PG-13 audiences with miscegenation comedy. Imagine the adults after their whole life viewing the same tired crap, This movie is slightly funny when Ced and Steve Harvey interact but outside of that the only enjoyable part is when Steve Harvey and Cedric families do battle for a trophy. - Nuff said

Starring: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Sonny Chiba

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Produced by Quentin Tarantino, Lawrence Bender, E. Bennett Walsh

Written by Quentin Tarantino

Distributed by Miramax

Release Date: April 16th, 2004.

Synopsis: Continuing the story-line which unfolded in "Kill Bill Vol. I," this is a revenge tale of an expert assassin, called The Bride, who sets out on a quest to wreak vengeance upon her former employer, Bill, and other members of their assassin circle, for shooting her at her wedding--along with everyone else in attendance--and leaving her for dead. When this chapter in the story begins, The Bride will have already encountered some of her targets, as she continues battling her way up the chain of command, knowing it will ultimately lead her to her main goal: her chance to 'Kill Bill.'

Gumby Dammitt Says: Overall: B+

Let me preface this entire review by stating that Gumby is not a fan of Quentin Tarantino. In fact, I find him to be something of an overgrown video store geek. Apparently his days as a video rental clerk have served him very well, because when you see one of his films you realize that this guy has seen just about everything. Tarantino is a director who’s films are wholly tributary to his influences and indulgences as can be evidenced by just about everything he’s done from Pulp Fiction to Jackie Brown to the Kill Bill series (he’s already cooking up volume 3 for all U fans out there). The thing is, Tarantino doesn’t outright steal, so much as he pays homage to those influences, which is to his credit. Some of his indulgences, however, I can do without. Kill Bill volume II (which shall herein be referred to as KBV2, to suit my lethargy at the moment) continues the bloodhunt of The Bride, Uma Thurman’s blonde, lanky uber-samurai killing machine bent on exacting bloody revenge on the old gang. Most especially her old boss/lover, Bill (David Carradine) who put her in a four year coma with a bullet in the head. The Bride, to be sure, is a survivor, living through death after seemingly certain death if only to achieve her goal of killing Bill. It is her sole motivation and the source of her will to survive, even where she blunders. KBV2 is beefed through and through with flashback scenes in between the fights, although the battles are far less bloody than in Vol. I. The flashbacks are great because one can sit through this film and be filled in along the ride without ever seeing the first, so in that respect, the film can even stand alone. I must say though, that some of the scenes dragged on just a tad for my taste, Tarantino obviously milking those old spaghetti western moments quite to death. Those moments, however, do not hurt the film. There’s a great deal of wry, even dark humor speckled throughout, providing laughs both purely comedic and ghoulishly funny as well. You get an excellent glimpse of Tarantino’s ability as a director with a scene where he actually buries the audience alive, along with Thurman’s character, giving you a direct view into the terror and panic of the situation, a genius stroke. The Rza’s score is a bit uneven at some moments, but still impressive, and compliments the film very well. A clever nod goes to Tarantino for getting the head of the Wu-Tang clan to score his tribute to Kung-fu flicks. Gordon Liu returns in full, Hong Kong style, Shaw Brothers flick makeup to bring to life the man who trained Bill and apparently all of his assassins, Pai Mei. The name alone is a nod to the legendary Seven Grand Masters, a classic martial arts film (the Pai Mei Nine Strikes were the deadliest blows know in the film), and Liu is even dressed to the hilt to visually recall the main character in Fist of The White Lotus. Even if one misses the reference, Pai Mei is nicknamed White Lotus in KBV2. The references to the great Kung-fu flicks of yore are quite abundant during the flashback scenes which recall The Bride’s rigorous training. Oh, and for all of those who may not realize, Gordon Liu is a staple of classic Hong Kong martial arts films, such as the classic, Five Deadly Venoms (he was number 4, the Lizard). As much as I enjoyed KBV2, Tarantino managed to irk me yet again by placing an old racist cartoon in the end of the film. It didn’t even serve a purpose. He could have used any cartoon to complete the scene, yet he chose this one. Why? Because he very easily gives in to his indulgences, in this instance, old racist cartoons. While they aren’t the sum makeup of the director as a whole, like I said above, some of his indulgences I can do without. That being said, I liked KBV2. It’s pared down greatly from the first film, and works just as well, if not better.

Starring: Clive Owen, Stephen Dillane, Keira Knightley, Hugh Dancy, Ioan Gruffudd

Directed by Antoine Fuqua

Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer

Written by David H. Franzoni

Distributed by Touchstone

Release Date: July 7th, 2004

Synopsis: As the Roman Empire crumbles (circa 450 A.D.), the British Isles are thrown into a loose anarchy as errant knights are entrenched in years of territorial battle. Then, one king emerges to unite them, Arthur, with his concept of a Round Table of united knights.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

It's likely that historians will continue to debate the existence and accuracy of the stories of King Arthur for the next 100 years. This film is billed as the untold true story that inspired the legend. I doubt seriously that any of it is true, but it will be clear to most moviegoers that this "true story", far from being untold, was inspired by at least a half-dozen previous movies, from "Gladiator" to "Braveheart". It's a really, really cheap knock off of Gladiator. The film was written by David Franzoni, who also wrote Gladiator, a film that showed it's possible to invest a History Channel-type topic with dramatic urgency. King Arthur is much like Russell Crowe's Maximus character, both faithfully serves the Roman Empire and turns against its authoritarian abuses. He and his knights are sent on a rescue mission that recalls the one undertaken by Bruce Willis in "Tears of the Sun," the previous movie directed by Antoine Fuqua, who directed "King Arthur", so as you might imagine, originality is not the point of this movie. It is a blunt, glowering B picture, shot in murky fog and battlefield smoke, full of silly-sounding pomposity and swollen music. The combat scenes, though boisterous and brutal, are no more coherent than the story, which requires almost as much exposition as the last "Star Wars" movie. Luckily I downloaded this movie from my friend Bruce and I was able to replay the confusing parts. Moviegoers will not be as lucky. It's good to see a African-American like Antoine Fuqua directing Caucasian themed films but sometimes he messes up by reverting to the shaky-camera-and-quick-cuts style of action filming, which mistakes creating confusion for creating excitement. Producer, Jerry Bruckheimer - also needs to be taken to task for inserting ridiculous fifth century pseudo-feminism as a possibility, though he does parallel it by inserting much male comic relief. Since the Knights of the Round Table are honestly pagan (and skeptical of their leader's-King Arthur Christianity, which is wobbly at best), they are not about to go off in search of the Holy Grail. And though Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) at one point casts a smoldering glance in the direction of Guinevere (Keira Knightley), nothing more comes of the mythic triangle of king, queen and knight. There are few things more obnoxious than watching weary, jaded people get more weary and jaded over nearly two hours of screen time, The knights have nothing to believe in. They don't believe in the cause they're fighting for, and they don't believe in the Roman Empire, which is decadent and doomed. I suppose the filmmakers were hoping the audience would believe in Arthur and his men, and we did except that outside of Arthur and Sir Lancelot, as the movie progressed we noticed so many flaws about them in comparison to modern day sensibilities.

Luckily there are elements of drama that prevent King Arthur from being an unoriginal sinker. King Arthur is of "mixed parentage" - he is half Roman and half British - (that's like being part Dominican and part Puerto Rican) which results in an identity crisis, as he simultaneously grows disillusioned with the corruption and cruelty of his Rome, the un-sexy look of his British ancestry, as well as questioning his Christian faith. The other bright spot is Stellan Skarsgard as the hairy, helmeted Saxon leader; a mumbling barbarian who rarely speaks above a whisper and never says anything nice. Even in this misfired drama, when he murmurs, "Burn every village, kill everybody," it's scary. He's a great villain.

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, John Travolta, Jacinda Barrett, Billy Burke, Jay Hernandez

Directed by Jay Russell

Produced by Casey Silver, Chris Salvaterra, Whitney Green

Written by Lewis Colick

Distributed by Touchstone

Release Date: October 1st, 2004

Synopsis: Trapped in a fire that looks likely to kill him, a fireman (Phoenix) takes the opportunity to look back over his life, career and marriage, while he waits for his company, Ladder 49, to rescue him, if they can... (Travolta plays Phoenix's fire chief and mentor; Barrett plays his wife).

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

Starring: Tom Hanks, Marlon Wayans, Irma P. Hall, Ryan Hurst, Stephen Root

Directed by Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Produced by Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, Tom Jacobson, Barry Josephson, Barry Sonnenfeld

Written by Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, Max D. Adams

Distributed by Touchstone Pictures

Release Date: March 26th, 2004 (1,583 theaters).

Synopsis: The plot of an eccentric professor-turned-criminal-mastermind (Tom Hanks) to commit the massive heist of a New Orleans riverboat casino appears to be thwarted by the actions of Mrs. Munson, the seemingly-innocent little old landlady of the house that he and his three accomplices are staying in, and which is integral to their scheme (they want to dig a tunnel from it to where the casino's money is kept). So they decide that they need to remove her from the equation, but doing so might prove to be more difficult than they expect.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B-

When I originally saw the advertisement for this movie I was stunned and curious as to how Tom Hanks and Marlon Wayans found themselves being sent the same script. It was as if the irresistible force had met the immovable object; one determined to make the movie as bad as so many others he has played in, the other determined to do the opposite (I shouldn't need to explain who would be doing what). The Lady Killers finds Tom Hanks seemingly taking a break from his usual leading man roles in blockbuster films. Although Hanks is still the lead in this offbeat comedy he is not as much the focal point, and finds himself surrounded by a motley crew of mismatch personalities and characters, if not acting talents. Initially it's hard to figure how the writers plan to bring this film all together, but about midway through the film viewers will start to understand the significance of the film's title if the synopsis (above) doesn't lay it bare enough. The Lady Killers isn't a knee-slapping comedy filled with stupid pranks and juvenile humor, but it is witty and funny when it needs to be. In addition, I was a little surprised by some of the language and the darkness of some of the humor, since - in my mind - by association, seeing Tom Hanks equals PG-13. The Lady Killers isn't a must see but if you do stumble into the theater like I did you shouldn't leave upset.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Liev Schreiber, Meryl Streep, Kimberly Elise, Jon Voight

Directed by Jonathan Demme

Produced by Jonathan Demme, Ilona Herzberg, Scott Rudin, Tina Sinatra

Written by Daniel Pyne, George Axelrod, Dean Georgaris

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: July 30th, 2004

Synopsis: Captain Bennett Marco (Washington) and Sgt. Raymond Shaw (Schreiber) served together during the Persian Gulf War (the first one), and were part of a platoon of U.S. soldiers who were kidnapped by the enemy, and brainwashed to become pawns once they return home. Now, ten years later, Raymond Shaw is climbing the political ladder, as his mother's (Streep) new husband is a powerful senator helping a presidential candidate. Marco, however, is not dealing with the adjustment after the war as well, and eventually remembers being brainwashed. Knowing that it's just a matter of time before Shaw is called to service by his handler, Marco contacts Shaw to try to get through to him before something terrible happens...

Bruce Banner Says: Overall: A

Starring: Denzel Washington, Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, Marc Anthony, Radha Mitchell

Directed by Tony Scott

Produced by Lucas Foster, Arnon Milchan, Tony Scott

Written by Brian Helgeland A.J. Quinnell

Distributed by 20th Century Fox

Release Date: April 23rd, 2004

Synopsis: Denzel Washington stars as a government operative/soldier of fortune who has pretty much given up on life. In Mexico City, he reluctantly agrees to take a job to protect a child (Fanning) whose parents are threatened by a wave of kidnappings. He eventually becomes close to the child and their relationship reawakens and rekindles his spirit. When she is abducted, his fiery rage is unleashed on those he feels responsible, and he stops at nothing to save her.

Bruce Banner Says: Overall: B

Creasy (Denzel) - "Do you think God will forgive us for what we've done?"

Rayburn (Christopher Walken) -"No"

Creasy (Denzel) - "Me neither!"

Lines like these establish the fact that Denzel’s character who is an ex-C.I.A operative was doing dirty U.S. business in other lands, make no mistake about it. He does not begin this journey as a good guy but ends on the side of good. This fact is probably lost on many because the patriotism factor has flipped the C.I.A today into a benign entity in addition the second half of the movie is straight action flick mostly guns, explosions and cliché’s whereas the first half was more dramatic, soul searching and about relationship building between he and his little co-star, Dakota Fanning. She is an excellent actress, almost like a child prodigy for a ten year old but she is awful pale for this role, considering her biological movie dad is Puerto Rican Salsa singer Marc Anthony. Outside of that the casting was excellent, the movie was shot in Mexico City and most of the film uses Mexican actors.

I saw the making of this film on HBO before I saw the film and thus I may be slightly prejudiced in favor of the film. The research they offered on Latin American kidnappings gave me the feeling that I could trust the statistical information constantly put on the screen about kidnapping, i.e. “someone is kidnapped in Mexico every 90 minutes”. I rarely trust Hollywood history but its no doubt that kidnapping is off the hook in Latin America, but mainly in places of more civil unrest, like Colombia where it is often politically motivated, not just about greed and corruption as depicted in Mexico City. Nonetheless its enough to generate a story line and plot although there are some points which are left for us to fill in. Denzel has just as much rage as he did in Training Day but its inward rage not outward rage. You can skip Marvel’s Punisher film from last week and jump right to this film because it’s a tale of revenge as good as anything else playing in theatres right now. Its also very subtly religious in its theme, well maybe not so subtle is the role of religion in this film, but despite that, you don’t get beat over the head with it like Sunday School. Denzel is believable enough in everything he does from speaking Spanish, to beating his alcohol demons to taking on “El Hermandad a.k.a. "the Brotherhood" by himself (If this was Colombia I wouldn’t buy it for 1 minute). Its all about finding out who is “The Voice” that is responsible for the murder of the little girl that fell in love with him and gave him a reason to live again. If I say anymore I am going to spoil the final for you so I will just say - Nuff Said.

Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo

Directed by Jay Roach

Produced by Jane Rosenthal, Robert De Niro, Jay Roach

Written by Jim Herzfeld, John Hamburg, Vince Di Meglio, Tim Rasmussen

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: December 22nd, 2004

Synopsis: Having given permission to male nurse Greg Focker (Stiller) to wed his daughter (Polo), ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes (De Niro) and his wife (Danner) travel to Detroit to "meet the parents", who this time around are Mr. and Mrs. Focker (Hoffman and Streisand), who are as different from them as can be.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B

Meet the Parents was an undeniably funny and successful movie. Unlike many comedy films produced in the U.S. the humor was universal in that everybody "got it" regardless of your background or station in life. It was clear that this success, the movie equivalent of catching lightening in a bottle, would be hard to duplicate for a sequel and in some ways it is this attempt to reproduce the first film which makes this sequel, Meet the Fockers, fall short of the film that spawned it (though fortunately "the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree"). Once again there is a major scene involving a toilet, another extremely awkward dinner, a hilarious sports related confrontation, and some uncomfortable moments resulting from Gaylord "Greg" Focker (Ben Stiller) being less than forthright with Jack Byrnes (De Niro), but it's the introduction of the toddler grandson of De Niro's character and Greg Focker's parents played by Duston Hoffman and Barbara Streisand's that make this film work. Streisand and Hoffman fit almost perfectly into their roles and the toddler being unable to speak, but able to communicate via sign language make for some of the movie's best moments. 

For those who somehow missed Meet the Parents, the film was built around Pam (Teri Polo) taking Stiller's character to meet her parents, Jack and Dina (De Niro and Blythe Danner). For the sequel it's time to drive down to Florida, to meet Stiller's eccentric and highly unconventional parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. Roz is a successful sex therapist, and Bernie was a lawyer until he took paternity leave to raise Greg and never went back to work. Their public displays of affection cause poor "Greg" no end of humiliation and the Focker parents are such positive thinkers, that they keep a shrine to all of "Greg's" competitive feats even when he comes in 9th place. They are so quick to hug and approve and embrace that it's amazing they produced such an uptight child as Gaylord. Their demeanors are contrasted by De Niro's character that doesn't even want to take his shirt off when Roz offers him a massage - though that scene unfortunately falls flat. Ultimately however, it is the collision of these worlds that leads to more than enough humor to make Meet the Fockers a more than respectable sequel. It's not quite lightening in a bottle, but it does have a charge of it's own.

Starring: Hilary Swank, Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Jay Baruchel, Christina Cox

Directed by Clint Eastwood

Produced by Tom Rosenberg, Albert S. Ruddy, Clint Eastwood, Paul Haggis

Written by Paul Haggis F.X. Toole

Distributed by Warner Brothers

Release Date: December 15th, 2004 (NY/LA/Chicago/Toronto).

Synopsis: In the wake of a painful estrangement from his daughter, boxing trainer Frankie Dunn has been unwilling to let himself get close to anyone for a very long time--then Maggie Fitzgerald walks into his gym. In a life of constant struggle, Maggie's gotten herself this far on raw talent, unshakable focus and a tremendous force of will. But more than anything, she wants someone to believe in her. The last thing Frankie needs is that kind of responsibility-- let alone that kind of risk--but won over by Maggie's sheer determination, he begrudgingly agrees to take her on. In turns exasperating and inspiring each other, the two come to discover that they share a common spirit that transcends the pain and loss of their pasts, and they find in each other a sense of family they lost long ago. Yet, they both face a battle that will demand more heart and courage than any they've ever known.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman take what should be a conventional boxing-melodrama plot about a crusty old trainer whose heart is melted by a spirited young fighter and turns it into a glowing, somber meditation on friendship, ambition and death. The picture's scale is small, and its pacing leisurely, which gives you a chance to savor three lovely performances: from Hilary Swank as the young boxer, Morgan Freeman as world-weary former contender and Mr. Eastwood as the trainer, Frankie Dunn. At 74, Dirty Harry has achieved a level of mastery that leaves him with nothing to prove, and so, unafraid of sentiment and willing to risk cliché, he has made a graceful, lyrical, devastating masterpiece — the best boxing film released about a women and way more realistic than Rocky I, II, III and IV.

Sort of a female Rocky picture, this film decides to take on an entirely different fight by the end. Some will argue this makes the film richer, deeper, braver... and they're right. Some will argue that this turn knocks out the entertainment value... and they'd have a good point too. It’s a bit slow in the get go, very strong in the middle, then slow again on the way out, but endearing -- always endearing. Strong acting , good direction, and pleasant cinematography. Myself? I felt it was an "uplifting tragedy."

The film hinges on a pivotal event, important, strong, shocking. Some of the circumstances around that event give cause for pause. Additionally, I was a bit confused about time period in which this story plays out. Sometimes it feels like the seventies and then at other times -- modern day. Much of the film centers around Eastwood, Swank and Freeman (Freeman tells the story); So, exterior shots are rare. The film develops the new relationship between old trainer and young boxer. And accents that with the old relationship between old trainer and long retired boxer.

I especially enjoyed the tasteful humor in editing during Swank's Round 1's. What appears to be a boxing film is really a study on dealing with guilt, responsibility for risk, and personal drive. If you're just up for an up film, don't see this one. If you like layered movies, see this my but my fiancé hated it and warns “that it's far from being the classic for the ages” so many critics have deemed it. It's strange that so many ordinary people are convinced it is a classic without seeing it, she feels that so many have mistaken its dull sincerity for something profound and moving. So whether you believe me or her it’s a choice left up to you.

Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, Rodrigo de la Serna, Mia Maestro, Mercedes Moran, Susana Lanteri

Directed by Walter Salles

Produced by Karen Tenkoff, Michael Nozik, Edgard Tenenbaum, Karen Tenkhoff

Written by Jose Rivera

Distributed by Focus Features

Release Date: September 24th, 2004 (LA/NY).

Synopsis: This is the true story of a 23-year-old medical student from Argentina, Che Guevara (Bernal), who traveled across South America on a motorcycle with his friend Alberto Granado (de la Serna) in 1951-1952, in a personal odyssey which would ultimately inspire him to become a revolutionary who had a profound impact on the history of several nations. The duo has a series of adventures that vary from the suspenseful (stowing away on a cargo ship, exploring Incan ruins) to the comedic (falling off their bikes, wooing women, drunken revelry) to the serious (volunteering at a leper colony).

Eyecalone Says: Overall: A

Nowadays, it seems that everyone from pop rap icons to suburban skateboarders own at least one Che Guevara tee-shirt, but ask those same people what principles and beliefs Che Guevara lived and sacrificed his life for and many of them would draw a blank. Unfortunately, although this film deals with the life of Che Guevara it won't fully answer that question either, though it's really not supposed to. Rather than deal with his actual deeds and accomplishments of Guevara (which could be quite contentious in mainstream American cinema) as an integral leader in the revolutionary forces that overthrew the U.S.-backed Cuban dictator, Fulgencio Batista in 1959, this film aims to capture Guevara's early adult life and the dawning of Guevara's passion for social justice. 

Based on Che's diaries and other factual accounts, The Motorcylcle Diaries focuses on Guevara's early transformation as a person, from a privileged, bourgeois, Argentine playboy to a budding revolutionary. Rather than try to explain Guevara's rising consciousness in a single moment, The Motorcycle Diaries shows us how Che's understanding flowers gradually as a result of encounters and experiences with people while traveling the South American sub-continent, as he encounters dispossessed Communist farmers forced to work in mines, indigenous people forced from their land, and himself works in a leper colony in the Amazon. The experiences highlight other qualities that those who knew Guevara say were his hallmarks; namely his inability to lie, even when it is seemed understandable, his strong moral compass, his deep compassion for the Latin American masses, and at times, his rigidity. The film's first part abounds with spills from the bike, picking up girls, running out of money, and cadging meals and lodging, all the while providing spectacular shots of a the South American landscape, but by the end of the film the viewer is able to see the beginnings of a political icon. Even for those in the "political establishment" who likely would be hostile to the true ideas and beliefs of Che Guevara, there is no denying The Motorcycle Diaries is a outstanding film. It's a stirring, layered film, as both Gael Garcia Bernal who plays Guevara, and Rodrigo de la Serna who plays his friend Alberto Granado deliver award worthy performance. I would encourage anyone interested in understanding Ernesto "Che" Guevara the person see this movie (I would also suggest reading Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life by Jon Lee Anderson for further insights on the remarkable life of Ernesto "Che" Guevara).

I am really starting to like Charles Stone's work as a director. In "Mr. 3000," Bernie Mac plays Stan Ross, an All-star Milwaukee Brewers first baseman who has made a career out of swinging bats and feuding with the media. There are shades of Barry Bonds in Stan's refusal to play ball with the press. He is so disliked that even the team's mascot disses him. This time, however, the movie is a comedy, not a dirge, and Bernie Mac gives a funny and kind of touching performance as a man who attains greatness once and then has to do it again. After Ross reaches his coveted 3,000 hits, he abruptly retires, leaving his team in the lurch while he opens up a string of Mr. 3000 businesses. Time passes. Stan basks in the afterglow of his 3,000 hits. He is considered for the Baseball Hall of Fame, and then a statistician discovers a crucial error: Because of a discontinued game, some of his hits were counted twice, and he in fact has only 2,997 hits. Too bad he didn't finish out that season. Stan comes out of retirement at 47 to try to get three more hits. He's past his prime and even past his decline, but his comeback makes a good story and ticket sales zoom. But the kids on the team hardly know who he is, and his attitude wears badly when he's batting 0 for 27. You may be in trouble if you're starring every night in Jay Leno monologues.

The thing about Stan, though, is that he knows baseball. He thinks his team is loafing, and he's right. He calls them a Little League team. He notices things, like an opposing pitcher's "tell" before he throws a curve. He starts passing out advice and criticism in the dugout. There's room for that, because the team's manager (Paul Sorvino) sits with sphinx-like detachment at the end of the bench, never uttering a single word. ESPN reporter Mo Simmons (Angela Bassett), a former lover, barely controls her contempt for Ross' wanton egotism--though she's warming up to him in his second go-round. She's an old girlfriend of Stan's, maybe the only woman he ever loved, although love for Stan does not come easily. She puts the pieces in place for what becomes the redemption of Mr. 3000, as he struggles to attain his crucial hits, but somehow at the same time becomes a nicer and even a wiser guy. Most of us are just happy to see the lovely Angela Bassett working, even though she is playing the love interest of a middle aged man, we get to see her in panties and a bra, and its hard to believe that she is in the same age group as Mack. She is like an older and more attractive version of Pam Oliver.

Like most movie sequels these days, it assumes you saw the last episode on DVD yesterday and jumps right into its situation with no recap or exposition. So if you haven't done your homework, there's a whole reel of disorientation before you get your feet on the ground. Basically, however, it picks up the story three years after the big casino theft just as Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and the rest of his former team (Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, etc.) have been tracked down by the still-enraged casino owner (Andy Garcia) they ripped off. He gives them two weeks to return the $90 million they stole plus three years worth of interest. They've spent most of the money so they have no choice but to reassemble and carry off a series of jobs against the ticking clock. It soon turns out that this situation has been manipulated by a master thief from France (Vincent Cassel), whose ego has been offended by Ocean's success and has set up his dilemma as a test to determine who is the greater criminal genius. If this sounds like the premise for a halfway decent thriller, be warned that it moves through its formula paces like some script-less happening of the '60s that's being made up by its director as it goes along and ad-libbed by a cast of actors under the influence.

Paparazzi is like a heavy-handed public service announcement on the importance of protecting celebrities' civil liberties. Though it would seem like an inside joke if it were even remotely clever, it is very one dimensional. Paparazzi is significant because it is the first movie Mel Gibson put his name and his face on after "The Passion of the Christ," and because it deals with a touchy subject. I'll try to explain the motives behind what the tormenting paparazzi do. In Paparazzi, Abascal and Smith (Photographers) only see black and white. The audience never gets an idea of what motivates these people to live these lives. Is it an adrenaline rush? Is it the money? Is it the perk of wearing whatever you want all of the time? Since the movie features a no-dimensional hero and several one-dimensional villains, there's no incentive to watch. Justified, multi-layered hatred makes every conflict better. They make is so simple, which makes it corny thus the film is a petulant, violent and sophomoric hissy-fit about those nasty photographers who torment the rich and famous. The star's name (Cole Hauser) is Bo Laramie. He sounds like a XXX rated movie, actor. Is he in porn? In the 1970s? I think their is a law against an action hero being named. With a wife (Robin Tunney), who is not even cute, a kid and a new world to cope with - of red carpets, insipid Entertainment Tonight interviews and camera flashes. He ends up in a vendetta with a crew of sleazy photographers headed by Tom Sizemore, and other Hollywood types like one of the Baldwin boys who have real Paparazzi cases that were played out in the media. Now I know.. The key to getting a screenplay sold is to find a pet peeve of Hollywood celebrities, and write a script where they get revenge on those behind the annoyance. A movie like this is now playing at a theater near us. Paparazzi tells a revenge story where we can't really identify with him killing the photographers. Some movies are comedies, some are dramas. When "Paparazzi" comes out on video, which should be happening right ... about ... now, you can find it filed under the "No, duh" category.

''Express'' tells of a doubting boy who travels to the North Pole on a massive, old-fashioned steam locomotive that pulls up in front of his door the night before Christmas and takes him and other chosen children to see Santa. The film is notable for its use of a new computer-animation technology called ''performance capture.'' What this means, basically, is that Tom Hanks had hundreds of electronic post-its attached to his body and face, each of which relayed information about his movements and expressions back to the software that was then used to digitally x ''clothe'' him. And the clothes Hanks wears are varied indeed: Not only does the star provide the baseline data for the young Hero Boy of ''Polar Express,'' but he's more recognizably Hanks-ian as the train's conductor, a ghostly hobo, the hero's dad, and Kris Kringle himself. Oddly, Daryl Sabara, the young actor who gives Hero Boy his sturdy, intelligent voice, is buried way down in the end credits - was the kid naughty or something?

Starring: Anthony Mackie, Kerry Washington, Dania Ramirez, Ellen Barkin, Monica Bellucci

Directed by Spike Lee

Produced by Preston L. Holmes, Fernando Sulichin, Spike Lee

Written by Michael Genet Spike Lee

Distributed by Sony Pictures Classics

Release Date: July 30th, 2004

Synopsis: Harvard, MBA-educated biotech executive John Henry “Jack” Armstrong (Anthony Mackie) gets fired when he informs on his bosses and initiates an investigation into their business dealings by the Securities & Exchange Commission. Branded a whistle-blower and therefore unemployable, Jack desperately needs to make a living. When his former girlfriend Fatima (Kerry Washington), a high powered businesswoman and now a lesbian, offers him cash to impregnate her and her new girlfriend Alex (Dania Ramirez), Jack is persuaded by the chance to make “easy” money. Word spreads and soon Jack is in the baby-making business at $10,000 a tryst. Lesbians with a desire for motherhood and the cash to spare are lining up to seek his services. But, between the attempts by his former employers to frame him for securities fraud and his dubious fathering activities, Jack finds his life, all at once, becoming very complicated.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C-

For me it seems like it's been a while since we've heard from film Director Spike Lee, through his films at least. In actuality it's been less than two years since his last major motion picture release, The 25th Hour, which was released in December of 2002. Maybe it's the fact that while early in Lee's cinematic career his films seemed immediately identifiable by their open focus on often race related, social matters, and familiar casting, recently Lee has been going a different route. Those elements have still been present in his more recent films, and it's still the case that once an actor has worked for Spike they will never be without work, as long as he is making movies; Lee's recent efforts have seemingly taken a more mainstream route. Well this time, coming straight "out of left field" Lee is back with 2004's She Hate Me, with a plot that is interesting if nothing else. Anthony Mackie plays a black pharmaceutical company executive whose very regular, very comfortable life becomes very irregular and extremely uncomfortable, very quickly when he is fired and "blacklisted" for calling in a complaint about his company's Enron-like accounting practices. Under federal investigation Mackie's character has his finances frozen by the government, which is when things get interesting. Enter Mackie's ex-fiancé, and current Lesbian acquaintance Fatima, who seizing on Mackie's desperate financial situation, convinces him to start sexually selling himself to her lesbian customers who want to become pregnant without a lasting relationship with a man (at 10K a pop), and without the uncertainty of fertility clinics. If this sounds like too separate movies well that is because it maybe should have been. There are just too many different story lines and subplots, some of which really could have been great material if better fleshed out. She Hate Me deals with, or could potentially have dealt with, corporate corruption, same sex relationships and non-traditional families, racism, government corruption, and perhaps some other issues but therein lies the problem. The film tries to touch on too much without enough care and consequently deals with no single topic well. Maybe it's too ambitious, maybe Spike took the low road of sensationalism as evidenced by the films sporadic and seemingly unguided and inconclusive ending, as well as the gratuitous sex scenes and steamy "girl-on-girl action" (leave the kids at home, please). At times it seems Lee passes up opportunities for serious and thorough social commentary, in favor of simply indulging the ever-present male fantasy of having "more than one chick". The things that save the movie are the fact that it is rather novel subject matter and there are many parts that are just plain funny, and that alone should be enough to keep people in the theater and in their seats, but I'd be lying if I said many a woman won't leave the theater feeling "She Hate Spike".

Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Jennifer Saunders

Directed by Andrew Adamson, Conrad Vernon, Kelly Asbury

Produced by John H. Williams, David Lipman, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Aron Warner

Written by: Andrew Adamson J. David Stem David N. Weiss Terry Rossio Ted Elliott Joe Stilman

Distributed by DreamWorks Pictures

Release Date: May 19th, 2004.

Synopsis: Picking up exactly where the first movie left off, this movie takes us to the kingdom of Far, Far Away as Shrek and Fiona return to her homeland to tell her parents (Cleese, Andrews) the good news. Not everyone is happy to find her married to an ogre, with the most irate in this group being Prince Charming (Everett), who was supposed to be the one who lifted Fiona's curse. We're also introduced to the mysterious Fairy Godmother (Saunders), and a bar called the Poison Apple, where the villains of the fairy tale world hang out, including the great ogre-slayer, Puss-in-Boots (Banderas).

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

The original Shrek opened three years ago. Since then us parents have become bombarded with Shrek mania from underwear to plush toys. For the sequel the main characters have all returned, from the grumpy title character Shrek (the voice of Mike Myers); his ogre princess bride, Fiona (Cameron Diaz); and of course the splendidly annoying Donkey (Eddie Murphy). The lessons that DreamWorks derived (and distorted) from William Steig's sublimely dyspeptic picture book are reiterated: be yourself; love yourself for who you are. For myself, I accept "Shrek 2" for what it is — slick and playful entertainment that remains carefully inoffensive beneath its veneer of bad manners. But the story line remains the weakest and most forced part of Shrek 2, and sometimes you pray for it to just get out of the way. There isn't much in the way of a plot, but Shrek 2 is populated with clever and amusing sequences, parodies, and pop references. What works best in Shrek 2 are the smaller roles, the pile-driving pop-culture jokes, and the moments of weird, early-"Mad"-magazine comic invention: Prince Charming wearing a paper Burger King crown in the background of a scene, there's a nod to The Lord of the Rings (the forging of Fiona's wedding band) and a lampoon of the Oscars' Red Carpet (complete with Joan Rivers). There's a brilliant satire of the "Cops" TV show (named "Knights") and several opportunities to poke fun at Hollywood (Far, Far Away is a medieval version of the eccentric West Coast city). The dialogue includes plenty of double entendres and secondary meanings. The music is laced with contemporary tunes: Donkey croons (in his own inimitable fashion) the theme to "Rawhide" and the whole cast joins in on "Livin' La Vida Loca." And what would a Dreamworks animated film be without a few knocks at Disney? This time, attentive viewers will catch unflattering glimpses of Ariel (The Little Mermaid) and the duo of Lumiere and Cogsworth (Beauty and the Beast). It's these things, not the unimaginative storyline, that give Shrek 2 its energy and freshness. This kind of strategy is hardly uncommon in pop culture these days, and Shrek 2 executes it with wit. The script, by Mr. Adamson, Joe Stillman, J. David Stem and David N. Weiss, has jokes that grown-ups and precocious kids will congratulate themselves for getting, and plenty of broader humor (which actually works better). The movie's goal is to enchant children with an old-fashioned fairy tale while simultaneously mocking and subverting its fairy-tale and nursery-rhyme premises. This is sometimes enjoyable and genuinely imaginative (appearances by the Gingerbread Man, who looks like Mr. Bill of "Saturday Night Live," and the Three Blind Mice are especially clever), but it also leaves a sour, cynical aftertaste.

Mr. Steig's Shrek is a celebration of ugliness that also happens to be one of the most beautiful children's books ever written, with respect both to its pictures and its prose. Of course it is unfair to compare that slim volume to the franchise it has spawned, which is a phenomenon in its own right. Certainly Shrek 2 offers rambunctious fun, but there is also something dishonest about its blending of mockery and sentimentality. It lacks both the courage to be truly ugly and the heart to be genuinely beautiful. Still, Shrek 2 is a jolly story, and Shrek himself seems durable enough to inspire "Shrek 3"

Starring: Matthew Lillard, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Linda Cardellini, Freddie Prinze Jr., Alicia Silverstone

Directed by Raja Gosnell

Produced by Charles Roven, Richard Suckle

Written by: Joseph Barbera James Gunn

Distributed by Warner Bros.

Release Date: March 26th, 2004.

Synopsis: The sequel to the 2002 hit that translated the lives of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby to the big screen as a live-action comic adventure.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

As a father of 2 kids, and an uncle to many more, it is my duty to stay current and watch kid movies. When Scooby-Doo collected $50 million on its opening weekend in 2002, it was an instant guarantee that Scooby-Doo 2 would not be far behind. I walked into "2" with my kids having a chip on my shoulder because of some stuff that happened with me and my cousin (read my upcoming article). Although the 2002 film put me to sleep in the first 15 minutes. I grew up on the cartoon and would not miss another chance to see the cartoon in live action. One might ask - Why, oh, why don't the producers of the "Scooby-Doo" films bypass actors altogether and simply animate the movies? It's not as if live action has given it any more dimension than the original Saturday morning cartoons. Well the answer is, its for people like me who marvel at animated dog actors acting side by side with real people and acting exactly as stupid as the cartoons. Watching it is a little like watching synchronized swimming: One is amazed at the technique and discipline lavished on an enterprise which exists only to be itself. Fred (Freddie Prinze Jr.) is clueless as ever. Sarah Michelle Gellar's Daphne does a lot of ghoul-slaying, but she can't get a decent line to save her life. She is dumbed-down a lot but everybody else is exactly as they are in the cartoon. Vilma is still a nerd but a little sexier. While those three are having their own crises, the royal screw-ups Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) and Scooby (somebody's hard drive) are looking for redemption. The directors of this film could give a lesson to the coaches of the NBA all stars because everybody gets equal screen time. If you grew up with the cartoon like me , you will have some childhood questions answered because the directors are hinting that Shaggy and Scooby were really potheads. That is why they always have the munchies and talk crazy. They also show us that Fred and Daphne are an item and that is not as subtle as the drug innuendo that passes right over every kid in the theatres head. Shaggy sounds exactly like the original voice of Shaggy, to me it was a wild ride and I don't even smoke weed anymore. In the end there was the classical "Scooby-Doo" clincher statement : "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids." The soundtrack is synchronized way better than the cartoon and the subtle references many probably missed. If not for my association with this website that delves deeper into everything, I probably would have missed the clowning impersonation of Bishop Don Juan and Snoop in caricature form. Shaggy and Scooby are still the heroes to me, these guys do some rapping and hip-hop break dancing. They do it all. This was a cartoon brought alive. I laughed more than my kids.

Starring: Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Method Man, Gary Anthony Williams, John Witherspoon

Directed by Jessy Terrero

Produced by David Scott Rubin

Written by Bo Zenga, Chuck Wilson

Distributed by MGM

Release Date: May 28th, 2004

Synopsis: Dakwon wins $600 million in a legal settlement. He uses the money to start the first all-black airline, NWA, as a means to win back his girlfriend, Giselle. However, the maiden NWA flight does not go smoothly when a white family is mistakenly re-routed onto the plane.

A Playahata Guest Reviewer - Sheisty : Overall: D+

A few years ago, BET's Bob Johnson announced the formation of DC Air, a budget airline that would have been created to help slide the merger of US Air and United Airlines through Congress with less resistance. Immediately, the joke emails started circulating, with all types of ignorant scenarios about just how ghetto an airline run by a brother would actually operate. Flight attendants dressed like video hoes, an in-flight DJ, Popeye's Chicken as the in-flight meal, etc. were just a few of the ignorant and totally stereotypical comments I saw bandied about. For whatever odd reason, black people have come to associate black business with automatically meaning incompetence and lack of professionalism. Thus the jokes were funny on the surface, but underneath it all was a subconscious train of thought that the idea of black people running an airline was too outlandish to ever come to fruition. Damn, are we that programmed or what? The merger never made it, and thus never did DC Air (Johnson has since taken his money elsewhere, having bought the NBA's Charlotte expansion franchise, which he arrogantly named after himself), but some genius in Hollywood got a hold of that email, and now we're left with yet another masterpiece of moviemaking, the-headed-to-DVD-and-Cinemax-with-a-bullet flick, "Soul Plane". I won't even bother giving you the plot, there isn't one. Just know that through a truly outrageous turn of events, Dakwon (Kevin Hart of the ABC sitcom "The Big House" which will probably cancelled by the time you finish reading this review) becomes the owner of NWA Airlines (Yes, NWA. Don't ask me what it stands for) which is about to make it's first ever flight from LAX to JFK. There are two schools of thought involved when trying to analyze a movie like "Soul Plane". Either you can see it as an hour and a half diversion of mindless laughs, or the worst possible personification of what Hollywood thinks of Black people and what they'll pay to see. Naturally, being the Hata I am, I tend to skew towards to latter. It's hard not to, considering that this movie has about every possible stereotype of blacks out there covered.

Namely.... * The ignorant, loud, oversexed black female - Played lecherously by female comediennes S'ommore and Monique. * The ignorant, loud, oversexed black male - Played lecherously by "Ignorant DVD King" Brian Hooks (Three Strikes, Eve). * The oversexed dirty black old man - Played by John "Pops" Witherspoon, who just happens to be blind in this movie. * The flaming gay black man -Played by the same dude who ironically played "Smart Brother" on Undercover Brother. * The ignorant pothead n'er do-well - Played to perfection by Method Man. Even the situations and scenery are stereotypical. * The terminal that NWA Airlines departs from is called the X-Terminal, as in Malcolm X. * The terminal looks like a black mall, complete with shoe stores, a Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, and a 99 Cent Store. * There is a phucking basketball court in the terminal. * The plane has three levels, First Class (which looks like the VIP section of a club), Business Class (which comes complete with a strip club and casino) and Low Class (which pretty much looks like the projects, complete with a TV with aluminum foil on the antenna). * There are malt liquor ads on the walls of the plane. * The overhead compartments are actually lockers, which require quarters to open. You know, like in a bus terminal. * There's a club on the "upper level" * The stewardesses, who of course dress like hoochies, serve Malt Liquor and Alize This is just the tip of the iceberg. Of course there's enough "fart" jokes, "takin' a dump! " jokes, "big dick/little dick" jokes, "broke Negro" jokes, "white folks are so corny" jokes, and "I'm so high" jokes to fill a week of episodes of Comic View. I didn't even mention the fact that Snoop Dogg plays the captain, who just happened to learn to fly while playing on a flight simulator while in the clink. The whole thing feels like an extra long skit from "Cedric the Entertainer Presents". If you ever saw that show, you could probably conclude that this isn't a good thing. Recent movies like "Undercover Brother" have succeeded, largely because they attempted to cleverly defuse old stereotypes. But like recent gems "Johnson Family Vacation", "My Baby's Momma", and "Friday After Next", this movie is just plain blissfully ignorant. I'll readily admit I laughed while watching this movie, but mainly because of the downright absurdity of the whole thing, rather than actually funny parts. Do yourself a favor and send Hollywood a message at the same time. Miss this flight. Or if you happen to be in the barbershop and they're stupid enough to be playing a bootleg of the movie a month before it hits theaters while there's a dozen kids watching intently, ask them to shut it off. Like I should have.

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, J.K. Simmons, Alfred Molina, Rosemary Harris

Directed by Sam Raimi

Produced by Laura Ziskin, Avi Arad

Written by Alvin Sargent, Michael Chabon, Steve Ditko

Distributed by Columbia Pictures (Sony)

Release Date: June 30th, 2004

Synopsis: Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man returns in the sequel to the record-breaking blockbuster movie debut for Marvel Comics' flagship character. Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker, the nerd-turned-hero, to face new threats to New York City and the people he loves.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

I believe too much money was spent advertising this movie. At one point Spiderman logos were scheduled to be on the bases at Major League baseball games. There is such a thing as overexposure in advertising and Spiderman 2 has fallen prey to that. This overexposure caused me to not be as excited about the film. The failure to excite was short lived once the fight scenes with Spiderman and Doctor Octopus broke out - ooooh weeeee! The fight sequences are amazing, it was just like witnessing a battle in a comic book.

I think that most people will feel that this Spiderman 2 is even better time than the original which was, until June 30th, the best comic- book-based action film ever made in my opinion. This one is funnier, holds more drama between characters, and has better special effects and backdrops. The plot is okay but the subplot is great, which has Peter losing his powers because he is not really sure if he wants to do the superhero thing and sacrifice so much. It is still amazing to the eye to see Spider-Man fluidly swing through the canyons of a re-digitized Manhattan skyline. Since Marvel Comics is now king, going into sequel territory is a lot easier when you have a franchise like "Spider- Man," but the director still deserves credit for pushing the envelope and using little subtleties, for example Kirsten Dunst a.k.a. Mary Jane is more complicated now and does not smile too much.

However I think, the director pushes too far in 3 areas which really annoyed me. You may want to skip pass the next 3 paragraphs because I may divulge secrets. Spiderman's identity is revealed to a train full of strangers by the end of the film - one kids says "we won't tell anybody," but you're killing it for me when you do that, since the anonymity is part of the power of a superhero (or in my case a Playahata). This unveiling of our hero disgusted me, these people saw how young he really was , and he lost some of his allure and magic. You just don't do that. If the secret aspect were no big deal he would not be wearing a mask. I took it personal since they did not have to do it; it was inevitable for his best friend and his love interest to find out but all those other people - I totally disagree.

The other annoying distraction was Peter's Aunt May. I was happy to see her play a bigger role in this film but they have her in too many action scenes. Even though this is a comic book I do not want to see Aunt May being tossed through the air, falling from buildings, getting caught and being held by a Dr. Octopus tentacle while he fights Spidey and walks up a 80 ft sky scraper. She should have had a heart attack even thou it is just a comic. Last but not least Dr. Otto Octavius plots and works in the same back drop, lab setting as William Osborne a.k.a. Green Goblin did in the first. I guess that should be no surprise since he is working for the son of Green Goblin, who is Harry Osborne. Since they ended Spiderman 2 with a plot which sets us up for Spiderman 3, in which Spiderman will come back and fight the son, and his best friend, who is Hob Goblin which means we will be probably be looking at the same villain set, backdrop in 3 straight movies - that will not be good.

In the end Spiderman 2 is still worth the wait. The fact that It has a good time with itself and never loses its emotional mooring is perhaps the film's chief accomplishment, although there's so much going on - smoothly, effortlessly, without plotlines going into gridlock - that its audience may never notice how deftly structured the whole thing is.

Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn, Fred Williamson

Directed by William Blinn, Stuart Cornfeld, Akiva Goldsman, Alan Riche, Tony Ludwig

Produced by Robert K. Weiss, David Zucker

Written by: Scot Armstrong, Thomas Lennon, Ben Garant, John O'Brien, Stevie Long, Todd Phillips, Scott Armstrong

Distributed by Warner Bros

Release Date: March 5th, 2004 (wide).

Synopsis: Set in the 1970s in a metropolis called "Bay City," this is the tale of two police detective partners, Ken "Hutch" Hutchinson (Wilson), and Dave Starsky (Stiller), who always seem to get the toughest cases from their boss, Captain Dobey, rely on omniscient street informer Huggy Bear (Dogg) and race to the scene of the crimes in their souped-up 1974 Ford Torino hot rod, telling the story of their first big case (as a prequel to the TV show), which involved a former college campus drug dealer (Vaughn) who went on to become a white collar criminal.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

I haven't done a movie review in a minute but I crept into this show without paying after watching Twisted, it was easy on me because security don't know my face at this new theatre and they had been watching me at my old spot, so I found a new spot where they don't watch you as long as you dressed up a lil' bit. Anyway on to the movie. I am old enough to remember the original Starsky and Hutch, but never was a big fan of the show. I peeped a few episodes out of boredom back in the day, just enough to be familiar with what this film was supposed to represent. You know 70's Era, free love, recreational drug usage, big hair including Afros and sideburns etc. This movie somewhat captures aspects of the TV series but everybody's character is working with a lil' something extra for the movie.

I didn't ever like Huggy Bear (although Antonio Vargas Jr. was perfect for the old role ) but I used to like to check out his ill ass butter fly collared shirts and bright clothes. I am unsure if he was a pimp on the show but I doubt it. I do remember he was a snitch a true-blue police informant and especially in the 70s that was one step under CO-Intelpro and in some cases classic CO-Intelpro. I can't relate. Snoop plays Hugy Bear now but he is so marketed by himself and the corporate media as a pimp these days its hard to see him outside of that especially when he is making sure that real life pimp's like Bishop Don Magic Juan are also in anything he does (Don't hand me that shit about the Bishop is a reverend). This movie has some howling good moments in it. Some real funny happenings, stuff that will make old school brothas laugh out loud. I say brothas cause this is some Spike network programming in that its aimed at men and old school viewers of the series. This one really pays homage to them also unlike other made for big screen movies. Starsky ( Ben Stiller) is a tight ass, strict by the rule cops who needs to relax a little. He had me cracking up when he was dancing showing off all the old school dances of the 70 and early 80's era. Unfortunately it's so slickly presented that it ends up being "gateway humor" for those who might only be interested in cocaine now. I felt guilty laughing at some of the drug references and innuendoes of cocaine usage. Its really on the level of Martin Lawrence cop character on X-cstasy in Bad Boys 2 and although I have always said "No to drugs". I know a few folks who did experiment and Starsky acted exactly like they used to act. Since his character was so stiff, the accidental cocaine use made him funnier, more relaxed and more likeable, which is a dangerous message. Hutch played by comedian Owen Wilson was the exact opposite in that he was one step away from being a criminal, in fact he was, as is the case of a number of undercover cops, who are criminals who have not gotten caught yet or are protected by the badge. Yet the danger is that his character is relating to black people in a real endearing way. He's really cool and smooth in his interactions, a friend to the community but of course these kind of crooked cops are always community menaces in real life. The jail scene where the inmate wants Hutch to be "like a dragon" is so hilariously funny that it alone is worth seeing. Fred Williamson is perfect as police chief because he is typically canonized as a 70's era person. The villains are all right but hey it's a comedy, so we don't want them to be too evil. - NUFF SAID

Starring: Morgan Spurlock, Dr. Daryl Isaacs

Directed by Morgan Spurlock

Produced by Morgan Spurlock

Written by: N/A

Distributed by Roadside Attractions / Samuel Goldwyn Films

Release Date: May 7th, 2004 (Limited).

Synopsis: Morgan Spurlock documents his month of eating nothing but McDonald's food. He has to try everything on the menu at least once, and he must super-size his order if asked.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A

Super Size Me gets a 3 Thumbs up as a great documentary. It won best director at the Sundance Film Festival, surprisingly, it won best MTV News Documentary film also. Quietly its been garnishing a lot of attention. With Fahrenheit 911 on target to become the first 100 million dollar documentary ever, this looks like the year of the documentary. This film is extremely educational and hilarious but it may be a little insensitive to fat people, especially when you listen to the Super Size Me soundtrack. Fat people get it a little hard but at the rate America is going, pretty soon that will be everybody.

In this film the Director, Morgan Spurlock nearly kills himself by eating McDonalds for 30 days straight breakfast, lunch, dinner without exercising. What McDonalds food does to his body is dangerous, disgusting and surprising even to the four medical professionals who he is under the care of. Its not so simple that this guy gains weight to the tune of about a lb a day but his blood work goes through the roof, I mean cholesterol levels, blood pressure, heart rate, liver etc. One doctor warns him that he is going to kill himself very soon. In the film McDonalds Court records reveal that the company knows there food is not healthy and has no nutritional value. 95 out of 100 nutritionist gave McDonalds two thumbs down. However McDonalds and these other unhealthy food corporations are a billion dollar industry backed by high powered lawyers and lobbyist. Spurlock hit the road and interviewed experts in 20 U.S. cities, including Houston, the "Fattest City" in America. From former Surgeon General David Thatcher to gym teachers, cooks to kids, lawmakers to legislators. These authorities shared their research, opinions and "gut feelings" on our ever-expanding girth. If the one on one’s don’t blow you away maybe the statistics in the film will, for example, 37% of American children and adolescents are carrying too much fat and 2 out of every three adults are overweight or obese. He doesn’t even mention that doctors predicted last month that America is experiencing a pandemic in terms of Health, and in less than 20 years another 35 million people will have type 2 Diabetes, that is the type that comes from poor diet, not genetics, and thus preventable. Stay away from that fast food if you want to live after all you can't sue anymore because 3 months ago in March 2004 Congress passed a bill into law preventing customers from suing fast food stores for later health problems as two young teenage girls did because they got so fat after eating McDonalds for about a year. They say people eating fast food should know better, it taste good but its bad for you. Yes its greasy, sugar-filled, fattening, toxin filled food and it has the same properties as addictive products like Tobacco. McDonalds food intentionally hides the nutritional information away from customers in many locations as the movie depicts and yes they intentionally target children through marketing and outreach. But this stuff is all intertwined. Its totally sinister in terms of expecting health problems among an ignorant, uninformed American public. Spurlock misses some facts thou, like McDonalds is the largest real estate owner in the world. In other words McDonalds has stores everywhere, and more property and buildings than Donald Trump and Century 21 put together a few times, which only means that out of all the “food corporations” guilty of food poising to people. McDonalds is number 1. – Nuff said

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez, Gena Rowlands

Directed by D.J. Caruso

Produced by Mark Canton, Bernie Goldmann, David Heyman

Written by Jon Bokenkamp, Michael Pye

Distributed by Warner Bros.

Release Date: March 19th, 2004

Synopsis: When Montreal detectives handling a local homicide investigation reluctantly ask for an outsider’s help to get inside the head of a cunning serial killer, top FBI profiler Illeana Scott (Angelina Jolie) joins the case. With meticulous insight, she theorizes that the chameleon-like killer is "life-jacking" – assuming the lives and identities of his victims. Her seemingly cold demeanor alienates her from the territorial local police force - she’s at her best when she’s working alone. But when an unexpected attraction sparks a complicated romantic entanglement, the consummate specialist begins to doubt her finely-honed instincts. Alone in an unfamiliar city with no one she can trust, Agent Scott suddenly finds herself on a twisted and terrifying journey, surrounded by suspects in a case that has become chillingly personal.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

This is Angelina Jolie's best work since she won an Oscar for "Girl, Interrupted". In fact, Jolie's character doesn't even exist in the book, but her expert FBI profiler, Illeana Scott, is so compelling, it's difficult to imagine what this solid genre movie would be like without her. Her eyes are always moving, thinking, and analyzing her environment. Even when it appears she's reached a dead-end with her investigation, she lets her senses take over. At night, she eats dinner alone, across the table from crime scene photos she has taped to the opposite chair. Her lips are still looking quite ethnic and she is making a ton off of those lips while women from my community with those lips are a dime a dozen.

Taking Lives is another one of those serial killer thrillers where the killer is not content with murder but must also devise an ingenious and diabolical pattern so that it can be intuited by an investigator who visits the crime scene and picks up his vibes. It's unique because it is the first French Canadian serial killer film and there are enough fake accents to go around, but the use of the French Canadian scenery represents a pleasant change-of-pace. The shift away from a New York or Chicago makes the film visually less formulaic. There are also some nice stylistic touches, including one legitimate scares that shocked me out of my seat. Although she's American, she's in Canada, where she has been summoned because she has special skills needed by the Montreal police. They don't even know they're not in Montreal. At almost the very moment we hear "Montreal" on the soundtrack, there is a beautiful shot of the Chateau Frontenac in Quebec City. This is a little like New York cops not noticing they are standing beneath Mount Rushmore.

The movie has several good, albeit generic, scary scenes, but even at its most preposterous, Taking Lives never seems out and out stupid. Ultimately, it's less about guessing who the killer is than watching Jolie try to guess who he is. And the nifty ending has a swell gender-specific spin. Taking Lives points its finger of suspicion over several characters, and even though we suspect the killer is just one of three people, there is never a lack of suspense. However, the inclusion of some additional scenes, like those in the film's beginning, where we witness the suspect in action, could have helped to increase anxiety levels. The ending is, in fact, preposterous, depending as thrillers so often do on elaborate plans that depend on the killer hitting all his marks and picking up on all his cues.

Starring: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Ann-Margret, Ana Cristina De Oliveira, Jennifer Esposito

Directed by Tim Story

Produced by Luc Besson

Written by Jim Kouf, Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Tina Chism, Peter Martin Wortmann

Distributed by 20th Century Fox

Release Date: October 8th, 2004

Synopsis: This is the story of a single mother and pizza deliverer, Belle (Latifah), who decides to use her record for making the speedy deliveries to another use, becoming a cabbie. As she quickly becomes famous for racing through the city at speeds upwards of 135 mph (including school zones), a young eager cop (Fallon) who lacks Belle's driving abilities convinces her to help him catch a gang of beautiful female bank robbers (led by a Brazilian diva played by Bundchen) using her amazing driving abilities.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

It seems as if the funniest parts of the movie were the out takes for this film, but just because it was not a good comedy doesn't mean it was a bad film. Besides, it's not just a comedy, it's an action comedy and although the action-comedy doesn't even live up to those rather limited expectations, it is something to watch, even if it is only 95 minutes. This is the kind of movie where the filmmakers, wanting to show how clever Queen Latifah's character is, have her declare that the movie's villains, a quartet of bank-robbing supermodels(!), speak Portuguese. The only trouble is the filmmaker forgot to shoot a scene in which she heard them speaking. Its a obvious error but is apparent the film makers don't care.

The movie is only sporadically up to something. It's nice to see a Hollywood picture carried by a black woman who isn't Halle Berry, especially one in which that woman chases down half-naked Glamazons. But too much of "Taxi" is just tired, particularly where Fallon is concerned. The dynamic between him and Latifah requires her to be smarter than he is, which, based solely on their time together, seems really easy. He does a lot of desperate pratfalls and dorky slapstick that's painfully unfunny, so much so that when Latifah tells him, "You try too hard," you want to say, "word". In fact the film is so unfunny that the best parts require the assistance of laughing gas, literally. I could watch the part where both characters get high off of laughing gas another 5 times.

Still, this is a movie that does inspire the occasional backhanded compliment. Fallon is least annoying when trying to nail the falsetto in Natalie Cole's "This Will Be," and all those car chases and ensuing pileups don't seem as much like a video game as they could. (Never mind that a few of those chases begin in midtown Manhattan and climax, inexplicably, on the streets of Los Angeles.) Tim Story ("Barbershop") directs with such apparent indifference to rhythm, geography, and sensible staging that there's reason to think Latifah's character isn't the only one with a hack license. Despite some gratuitous, lingering shots of Brazilians with - clad cohorts and some equally heated, rubber-burning car chases through Manhattan, "Taxi" never really gets out of second gear. I am not sure how Latifah's character image plays out since she is playing opposite 4 serious minded, tough acting, skim, tall, Europeran Brazilians, but she is definitely the star of this film and outdoes the Saturday Night Live guy any day of the week you see this on.

Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Masasa, Daran Norris

Directed by Trey Parker, Matt Stone

Produced by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Scott Rudin

Written by Trey Parker Matt Stone Pam Brady

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: October 15th, 2004

Synopsis: This politcally-minded comedy action adventure tells the story of Team America, a group of superhero-style adventurers who travel the world fighting terrorism and other evils. Specifically, the story focuses on a typical "action hero" who is recruited to join Team America for a special mission, as a satire of the typical Hollywood action movie, using a combination of wood marionette-driven action sequences and stirring tongue-in-cheek musical numbers.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C-

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Matt Stone co-creator of the comedy central series South Park, and Team America: World Police, said that what they tried to do with this film was to "represent the rest of America, ....basically those who believe that Bush is an idiot and the Michael Moore is an idiot too", adding we're kind of in the middle going ' I don't pretend to know this shit'". Though the existence of this so-called mythical middle or "rest of America", that thinks both Michael Moore and George Bush are idiots is quite questionable one thing is for sure if Stone and his co-creator, Trey Parker, are not pretending to know "this shit", then they are doing a damn good job. True to the modus operandi of their first creation, the widely successful South Park cartoon series, Team America: World Police is lewd, crass, and fairly offensive, but while even South Park has it's moments of witty socially commentary this film is a buffet of sophomoric and lewd humor based on private parts and sexual innuendo, which culminates in a not very witty ode to "know-nothingness" and cynicism. While Parker and Stone apparently like to market themselves as champions of the "middle", the critiques of the "war on terror" are rather mild, as the Bush Administration gets an apparent pass. Instead Stone and Parker reserve most of their venom and ridicule, for the acting community, particularly actors and on-screen personalities many of whom have come out against at least parts of the Bush Administration's agenda. Fighting under the acronym "F.A.G." the likes of Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Helen Hunt, Michael Moore, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Alex Baldwin, and a few others find themselves in a league with terrorist as they suffer and variety of extremely gruesome deaths and humiliations at the hands of Team America. 

Undeniably there a still some funny parts to the movie such as the puppet sex scene, and the soundtrack that features ridiculous yet catchy tunes such as "Pearl Harbor Sucked", "Everyone Has Aids", and "America -- Fuck, Yeah!". Just watching the erratic and strange movements of the puppets themselves often evokes chuckles, but even the humor buckles under the weight of the shear nihilism, ignorance, and pointlessness of the film.  At a time when the world is in crisis and the country faces an important election, the response of Parker, Stone and company boundless cynicism and ridicule for anyone who takes the current world situation seriously as they seem to revel in their own apparent ignorance. Assuming they meant what they said in the aforementioned Rolling Stone interview, when they also came out against P.Diddy's "Vote or Die" campaign - stating that "there is no shame in not voting if you don't know anything" - I'll guess we won't be seeing Stone or Parker at the polls this year. 

Starring: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Peter O'Toole, Diane Kruger

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

Produced by Wolfgang Petersen, Colin Wilson, Bruce Berman

Written by David Benioff Homer

Distributed by Warner Bros.

Release Date: May 14th, 2004

Synopsis: In 1193 B.C., Prince Paris (Bloom) of Troy stole the beautiful Greek woman, Helen (Kruger), away from her husband, Menelaus, the king of Sparta, setting the two nations at war with each other, as the Greeks began a bloody siege of Troy using their entire armada, led by Achilles (Pitt), that lasted over a decade.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

Can you stay put for almost three hours? If you can, you should like this but if you are A.D.D. You can go see something else. Brad Pitt's has been working out for 6 months, he has a tan, he has 3 half nude sex scenes and millions of white woman and gay white men will spend their money on the film just based on that. So what is the film's weakness? All of the above. This movie was designed to appeal to white women and gay men as an audience. Everybody else fit in, if you can. Ironically much of the gay element of Greek life/literature has been taken out of this film. Apparently in the interest of homophobia, the character of Patroclus is now Achilles' cousin, not his best friend, to eliminate the idea that they may have been lovers.

This movie is bright and glossy like a glamour scheme designed for erotic audience affair. It's too neat to depict 3200 A.D. Technological resources--digitized crowds and battles, computerized scenery--to stunning effect. Director Wolfgang Petersen and his technicians create the walled city of Troy, the ocean-side beach front, the complex massed battles of thousands and the fierce individual fights with amazing effectiveness. It's so unreal, that it lacks much grit. It's too screen sexy to be in the same category as films like Gladiator or Braveheart.

Achilles (Brad Pitt) is said to be the greatest warrior of all time, but he doesn't believe the hype. His only weakness was his heel. In the Iliad myth, which the film is based on Achilles was more ego, so if Achilles was anything, he was a man who believed his own press releases. Heroes are not introspective in Greek drama, they do not have second thoughts, and they are not conflicted like Achilles. Although not true to the classic literature this helps the films story. At the center of "Troy" is the conflict between the story's two great heroes: noble, self-sacrificing Hector and rebellious, egotistic Achilles, two great warriors who are caught in a political trap, subject to the whims and moral flaws of their leaders and peers. This is an epic battle story understood more from the warrior/soldiers perspective than the King's. It resonates with the climate today because we see soldiers who are tired of unnecessary wars that their leaders create for selfish purposes. Leaders who go to war easy because they do not have to fight. Pay attention and you will read the subliminal United States, Great Britain Vs Iraq dilemma. It becomes even more like today when you hear the kings and leaders invoke the name of Greek God's as a reason for the war. The Gods wish this, God is on our side , God hates evil (in my best Bushspeak). There is no bad guy and no good guy, just fighting, and husbands and fathers dying.

Hector played by Eric Bana is so unexpectedly strong and yet so sympathetically human that he all but steals the picture. His character is off set by his whimpering brother Paris, who is a pussy whipped, cowardly, hopeless romantic. He is always vulnerable and disapproves of even himself, but these roller coaster personalities entertain enough to allow me to sit for 3 hours.

Starring: Ashley Judd, Samuel L Jackson, Andy Garcia, D.W. Moffett, Mark Pellegrino

Directed by Philip Kaufman

Produced by Barry Baeres, Anne Kopelson, Arnold Kopelson, Linne Radmin

Written by: Sarah Thorp

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: February 27th, 2004.

Synopsis: A female police officer (Judd), whose father was a serial killer, and is now investigating a murder finds herself the center of her own investigation when her past lovers start dying at a furious pace.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

Semi-spoilers inside this review. There is nothing new here, just another action thriller. This movie is your basic whodunit tale of a sexy, alcoholic, and promiscuous female cop trying to solve a murder mystery. Imagine Samantha from Sex in the City as a homicide detective who has a serious drinking problem. She drinks and bones a lot because she is torn about her negative lineage. She has followed in the footsteps of her loving dad by becoming a homicide detective who allegedly murdered their mother and allegedly also in the footsteps of her mom by being a woman who can't keep her legs shut to men. Samuel L .Jackson plays her surrogate dad and the head of homicide. He supposed to be like her guardian angel. Basically everybody she bones winds up dead and most of it's a one night stand scenario. So you thinking she is either a psycho or she has been set up by her ex-boyfriend who is a psycho or then again her new homicide detective partner may be the psycho also cause he keeps trying to hit the punane, all throughout the film when she already told him "NO" a few times. Any man who is trying to sex a co-worker who they have to be with for over 8 hours a day has to love trouble or be a lil' crazy. So he has to be a suspect also. So the killer is one of those three or maybe just maybe somebody else is really the psycho. Its not until her ex gets killed that you realize that the real killer may be somebody else, especially hard to compute because the killers motive doesn't really make too much sense. Even serial killers have somewhat of a method to their madness. Even if they have reverse Oedipus complex. - Nuff said

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, Elena Anaya, David Wenham

Directed by Stephen Sommers

Produced by Bob Ducsay

Written by: Stephen Sommers

Distributed by Warner Bros.

Release Date: May 7th, 2004.

Synopsis: Set in the late 19th century, monster hunter Dr. Gabriel Van Helsing (Jackman) is summoned to a mysterious land in East Europe to vanquish evil forces... evil forces with names like Count Dracula (Roxburgh), the Wolf Man (Kemp), and Frankenstein's Monster (Hensley). Assisting him once he gets there is Anna (Beckinsale), the heir of a long-running family committed to hunting down and destroying Dracula.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

An exciting synthesis of our favorite nostalgic horror icons…. This movie is like a Greatest Hits compilation; it's assembled like Frankenstein's Monster (pun intended). For those people looking for a good non-stop action summer movie this is a great way to kick off the summer. This is a good popcorn movie. It has action from beginning to end.  I thought the CGI and special effects was ok. After seeing the CGI in movies like The Matrix Reloaded and Return of the King I guess this may seem rather lacking to some. The CGI does however get the job done, just don't expect too much visual flair. The other visuals such as props and other special effects are outstanding. Think of the CGI in The Mummy and you'll have a fairly decent idea of the CGI in this film. Overall the movie is entertaining and will appeal to action fans and fans of horror movies. It's just a different feel with the special effects; you never really feel like you're in the world of Van Helsing. You just feel like you're watching some action with a lot of special effects. At the outset, we may fear film Director Sommers is simply going for f/x overkill, but by the end, he has somehow succeeded in assembling all his monsters and plot threads into a high-voltage climax. Van Helsing is silly, yet spectacular and fun.

Of course if you are reading this review you know this movie features the most popular movie villains of all time with Dracula, The Werewolf, Dr.Jekyland, Mr.Hyde, Frankenstein, and a few of Dracula's brides thrown in for good measure. This movie most certainly speaks to those of us who are appreciative of continuous action, unique character development and a bit of nostalgia to round everything out. This movie really has a simple but cool plot. The basic story line is that Dracula is searching for Frankenstein's monster because he needs him to help him create an army of Vampires. Enter Van Helsing. Van goes off to Transylvania to stop Dracula from spreading his evil and to ultimately kill him but Dracula has a few pals to help him that include those bad guys already named. The most memorable effect comes at a lavish costume ball - choreographed by Cirque du Soleil - at which Dracula memorably demonstrates he still casts no shadow. It was just nice the way it was all done. I like this Al Pacino a.k.a. Scarface type of Dracula although he is more like a Transylvanian super pimp. He has hoes that ride or die for him. They go get that money although its more like blood. When you go see it, you will see the film's pimp Factor. He's the next level Dracula but he is the next level because he can't be stopped by daylight, crosses or holy water not because he comes off like a pimp. Dracula and Frankenstein stock both get raised in this film. Frankenstein gets a new dimension to his humanity which is very "Hulk" themed. In total what, Sommers recaptures best is a tone of melodramatic excess so neatly deployed that it wins laughs and excites.

Starring: Judy Greer, Bryce Dallas Howard, William Hurt, Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Produced by Sam Mercer, Scott Rudin, M. Night Shyamalan

Written by: M. Night Shyamalan

Distributed by Touchstone Pictures

Release Date: July 30th, 2004.

Synopsis: Set in rural Pennsylvania in 1897, this is the story of the small village of Covington (population 60) surrounded by a woods inhabited by a race of "mythical creatures," and the romance that blossoms between Kitty (Greer), the daughter of the town's leader (Hurt), and Lucius (Phoenix), a young man who questions the policy of keeping Covington's citizens completely confined to the village.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

I think I just witnessed the first Amish Science Fiction film ( that was not really science fiction ). M. Night Shyamalan, the writer-director, has been successful in evoking horror from minimalist stories, as in "Signs." Shyamalan is like an Indian Spike Lee, in that he often uses the same actors in many of his films and has a signature style. His supernatural conceits may vary from picture to picture — ghosts in "The Sixth Sense," comic-book super heroics in "Unbreakable," space aliens and crop circles in "Signs" — but his stories are always built around a carefully disguised and meticulously prepared twist. Set in rural Pennsylvania in some modern time, this is the story of the small village of Covington - population 60 - which is surrounded by woods inhabited by a race of "mythical creatures." Within the village confines life goes on “normally” even without modern technology. The Village opens with the funeral of a small child and a large meal for all its inhabitants; right away we're meant to think about the Pilgrims or the Amish. Covington has no elected officials and no currency and sits next to a vast foreboding forest. Everyone in the village does everything together, apparently, although it is never very clear what most of their jobs are.

The Village has a lot of wondrous - cinematography giving the film a "Twilight Zone" time feeling. Some violin’s permeate the sound track, it's autumn, overcast and chilly, girls find red flowers and bury them, everyone speaks in passive voices, and while some of the acting is odd, it's all good. Juaqin Phoenix is that rare actor who can turn chronic speechlessness into a form of comic piety, and Ron Howard, (daughter of Richie from Happy days), is great as the blind girl. Though she is not cute, she is better for the part because she is pure without coming off virginal, and complies only in the grueling latter going. The community lives in an uneasy truce with these monsters, their implicit agreement being that " monsters " aren't allowed in the valley and people aren't allowed in the woods. An elaborate set of rules and customs has been devised to keep the beasts at bay: there are watchtowers, warning bells and amber flags and robes, and anything red ("the bad color") must be buried. (These colors may, in the film's allegorical scheme, be intended to evoke the government's color-coded terror alerts.) But there are signs that this covenant is fragmenting. Small animals are turning up strangled and skinned. The monsters are even painting red marks on certain houses -- the monsters apparently are drawn to the color red.

Its hard to critique this film without revealing the plot secrets. That is because we would spoil the movie for you. Also because if you knew them, you wouldn't want to go. The whole story evolves around secrets I have hinted at already. I can hardly discuss it at all without being secretive and vague. I suppose it is to his credit that the director wants the audience to think — about fear, security and the fine line between rationality and superstition — as well as tremble. Too bad this time Shyamalan's ideas are a little sloppy but you'll have to see it for yourself to understand what I mean, it's still asecret.

Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Kristen Wilson, Neal McDonough, Ashley Scott, Johnny Knoxville

Directed by Kevin Bray

Produced by Jim Burke, Paul Schiff, Lucas Foster, Ashok Amritraj, David Hoberman

Written by Brian Koppelman, David Levien, David Klass, Channing Gibson

Distributed by MGM

Release Date: April 2nd, 2004

Synopsis: In Walking Tall, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays Chris Vaughn, a retired soldier who returns to his hometown to make a new life for himself, only to discover his wealthy high school rival, Jay Hamilton (Neal McDonough), has closed the once-prosperous lumber mill and turned the town's resources towards his own criminal gains. The place Chris grew up is now overrun with crime, drugs, and violence. Enlisting the help of his old pal Ray Templeton (Johnny Knoxville), Chris gets elected sheriff and vows to shut down Hamilton's operations. His actions endanger his family and threaten his own life, but Chris refuses to back down until his hometown once again feels like home.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C-

Ladies and Gentleman it's the Roc, not Rocafella but Dewayne Johnson. Looking like my older cousin at twenty pounds lighter, he is is fun to watch in movies. As demonstrated here and in "The Rundown," he's big without seeming monstrous and can be serious without ever looking bored. But the producers assumed the whole audience is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) because not only is Walking Tall shorter than 90 minutes, the films final showdown scene lasted a mere 3 minutes, and they skip over major important parts of an otherwise compelling story. They never show our main character (The Rock) get elected as sheriff .They just leap into fight scenes and action. There is not enough effort put into this film especially the story telling part. Anytime a film is inspired by a true story, there should not be a situation where it is so short. This is a story situation that so many can relate to. "Black man fed up with drugs being pushed in his community and decides to do something about it, even if its chance that brings him into a mortal conflict with the offenders". A lot of people are feeling like this, but this story is too concerned with action and displaying the Rock's body. It's a great story wasted consider Walking Tall," is a remake of the 1973 hit movie of the same name, which spun off into two sequels and a television series. Yet here we have about 1 hour and 5 minutes when you take away the opening and closing credits. Although inspired by actual events surrounding Tennessee Sheriff Buford Pusser, this just did not seem like a real story because director Kevin Bray sucked and writers David Klass, Channing Gibson, David Levien, Brian Koppelman did a sucky job. Mort Briskin screenplay must have sucked also.

Starring: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Rochelle Aytes, Jennifer Carpenter, Jessica Cauffiel

Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans

Produced by Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Rick Alvarez, Lee R. Mayes

Written by Xavier Cook, Andy McElfresh, Michael Anthony Snowden, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Keenen Ivory Wayans

Distributed by Columbia Pictures

Release Date: June 23rd, 2004

Synopsis: After messing up a major drug bust in New York City, two African American FBI agents (who are also brothers), Marcus and Kevin Copeland (Shawn and Marlon Wayans), try to impress their boss by volunteering to protect the Wilton Sisters, Tiffany (Dudek) and Brittany (Ward), the heiresses of a hotel empire, from a kidnapping scheme during a short trip from JFK to the Hamptons. Deciding to change the strategy drastically, the brothers use themselves as bait, wearing lots of pale makeup and dresses to pass as the Wilton sisters, while the real sisters are hidden away, safe from harm. Now, the agents just have to convince the world (including their coworkers who are now protecting *them* and the Wiltons' friends and family) that they're actually young, rich, white heiresses.

A Playahata Guest Reviewer - Sheisty : Overall: B-

The latest in a line of race-inspired spoofs by the Wayans Brothers, White Chicks is either a movie you'll love or hate. The premise, as pretty much anyone who's seen the commercials knows, is that brothers Marcus and Kevin Copeland (Shawn and Marlon) are FBI agents who go undercover as a couple of rich white heiresses (Think Paris and Nikki Hilton) the Wilton sisters. The FBI has gotten wind of a plot of unknown menaces to kidnap the girls for ransom money, and the agents go undercover and jet off for a weekend among high society in The Hamptons to foil the plot. Give the Wayans (Keenan directs and produces) credit for taking the (somewhat) high road and attempting to mix in a plot with the usual flatulence jokes and sight gags that define such movies (although they are certainly here as well). Sure, the rubber costumes that the brothers don are hideous, and of course there's the obvious "who the heck can't tell they're men?" feeling when watching them (think Martin Lawrence in "Big Momma's House"), but the movie gets points for taking in an interesting look at the insecure superficiality of "high society". And I'll be darned if Terry Crews (the cock diesel ex-inmate released in "Friday After Next") doesn't steal the show as Latrell Spencer, an NBA player absolutely obsessed with Kevin's "Wilson Sister". I had the "coon alert" antennae up from the moment he shucked and jived his way onscreen, but his character is so over the top in his fanatical craze over white women that you can't help but laugh. He more than makes up for the lack of laughs generated when Marlon Wayans opens his mouth. Though he's certainly improved since "The Wayans Brothers" show on WB, dude still has to be the most untalented member of an otherwise talented family, on record. He's the Wayan's version of Rebbie Jackson, which isn't saying much considering that Kim isn't too funny either. But that's beside the point. There are some low points though. For a movie called "White Chicks", you'd be correct in guessing that there were only a smattering of sistas'. For whatever odd reason, the Wayans decided to make every black woman in this film brown-skinned and ghetto as hell (Marlon's ultra possessive and always nagging wife) or a light skinned gold digger (the journalist who helps the brothers bust up the kidnapping scheme, but who only falls for Shawn when he's deceived her into thinking he's an NBA player). Meanwhile, the white chicks are sensitive, intelligent, and caring. Mama Wayans needs to smack Keenan upside the head. Then again, given his (and Damon's) divorce woes, maybe we shouldn't be surprised that there's a little "hidden message" slipped in there. There are some dry spots as the movie sets up the premise for the agents going undercover, but from there on, it's pretty much your average momentarily entertaining, and instantly forgettable summer popcorn flick.

Starring: Kimberly Elise, Loretta Devine, Debbi Morgan, Michael Boatman, Clifton Powell

Directed by Michael Schultz

Produced by Reuben Cannon, Paul Garnes

Written by T.D. Jakes

Distributed by Magnolia Pictures

Release Date: October 1st, 2004

Synopsis: An adaptation of Bishop T.D. Jakes' self-help novel, chronicling a woman's struggle to come to terms with her legacy of abuse, addiction and poverty.

A Playahata Guest Reviewer - Sheisty : Overall: B+

Part sermon-ette and part off-Broadway production, Bishop TD Jakes' film adaptation of the novel and stage play Woman Thou Art Loosed is a quality film that turns out far better than anticipated. Looking to capitalize on the recent religious fervor that has allowed Christian-oriented movies like The Passion of Christ, and Left Behind to succeed at the box office, WTAL tells the fictional life-story of death row inmate Michelle Jordan.

Played affably by Kimberly Elise (John Q, Set It Off, The Manchurian Candidate), Jordan is visited by the real-life Jakes, who attempts to appeal to prison officials to have Jordan's sentence commuted. Via a series of somewhat confusing and out-of-sequence flashbacks, the film follows Michelle through a life wrought with tragedy and setbacks that led to her eventual imprisonment. Her single mother Cassie (played by a Loretta Devine, who strangely delivers her lines like she's in traveling gospel stage play mode) is mostly absent during her childhood, choosing to neglect Michelle in favor of entertaining a series of boyfriends. Things go from bad to downright awful when Cassie meets a truly trifling unemployed playa named Reggie and allows him to move in. Reggie has a dirty R-Kelly style fetish which you can probably figure out without further explanation, and when Michelle pleas to her mother for help, she instead finds a woman who would rather turn her back on her own child than go without a man. Thus ensues a sad adulthood of rape, prostitution, stripping, and substance abuse that culminates with Michelle doing a three year bid for drug possession. Upon release, she returns to her old neighborhood where a three day women's revival and the cast of characters she'd rather forget faces her to relive her past.

Kudos are easy to dish out here. Jakes gets a lot of credit for using his own money and influence to get the movie made and distributed, but wisely takes a backseat where many other mega-preachers would have insisted on being the entire show themselves. Instead, relegated to a relatively small supporting role, Jakes allows Kimberly Elise to truly shine as the lead character. If you consider filmographies to be resumes, then Elise has spent an entire career underemployed, settling for supporting roles as Denzel's 'wifey' in the aforementioned films, but here she truly is allowed to shine. Elise is absolutely captivating, playing Michele in her many phases with equal dashes of sensitivity and toughness. Clifton Powell ( who seems to have starred in every black movie and play made since 89', but is best known as Pinky the Pimp in Next Friday), who has pretty much made a living playing bad guys, does more of the same here, and you end up hating him just as much as you did when he played villains elsewhere. Perpetually overacting, Devine just doesn't seem like the best fit for this movie, but raises the necessary amount of ire as the type of mother that unfortunately far too many of us can identify with. Overall, this under appreciated cast gives a game effort considering the numerous unexplained and undeveloped aspects of the storyline. Michael Schultz, director of such gems as Which Way is Up, Cooley High, and Car Wash, does a workmanlike job of the visuals here. The label "low budget" never comes to mind.

This movie isn't perfect, but it is enjoyable, without being preachy. Please do not assume this is a movie only for "church folks". Sure, the message is there, but it all comes together as being a "just plain good story" with spiritual undertones. Given the paucity of quality black films in recent months (clunkers like The CookOut, Soul Plane, Johnson Family Vacation), Woman Thou Art Loosed is a legitimate well-made, well-acted drama that's well-worth your $10.

Let the church say, Amen!

Starring: Marques Houston, Omari Grandberry, Jarell Houston, Jarrell Houston, Meagan Good

Directed by Chris Stokes, Chris Stokes

Produced by Cassius Vernon Weathersby, Marcus Morton, Billy Pollina, Cassius Weathersby

Written by Chris Stokes

Distributed by Screen Gems

Release Date: January 30th, 2004

Synopsis: This hip-hop comedy explores the social subculture of street dancing, focusing on a pair of friends, David (Omarion) and Elgin (Houston), who want to open their own hip-hop dance and recording studio, but in order to do that, they must first win a street dance competition against another group of street dancers to prove that they have talent.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

I know readers don’t expect me to be reviewing you got served because this is a teen movie but I am a Father and Uncle, so I have to chaperone and sit through some things that I would not normally. So let me say this first for all the Haters. The only bad part of this movie is that they have some old white boys heading the rival break dance crew and these actors can’t pass for teenagers, these professional break dancers are like 30 trying to pass for 17 but outside of that and a half naked Little Kim, with a ton of makeup holding in her stomach in every shot this is wholesome fun movie. I know it sounds corny but it’s nice to see a boy and girl like each other without having them perform sexual acts on the screen or take all the kids to see a movie that only hinted at drugs and not had them in your face. This is not really even a teen movie but a teen girl movie. I heard of B2K but I don’t listen to them or know who is who in the group. They're just some kids to me and this movie is directed at kids, actually young girls. When B2K members D and L practiced their moves, in slow motion, as a driving rain soaked their sweatpants and bare chests, all the girls in the theatre were going crazy. I can’t quite understand it. When L got jumped and beaten for the unspecified but presumably drug-related contents of his gym bag, the girls screamed in terror. When D socked L after L called his own little sister a 'ho', they screamed some more I was thinking somebody was personally attacking them in the theatre. The audience simply was going crazy in this film and I was probably the oldest male in the show. I saw some young mothers chaperoning kids also and they like me are not chaperoning cause of film content but somebody has to drive them all to the movie theatre. The audience's exclamatory response strongly suggests that a significant segment of the population had been missing something for some time: There just aren't a lot of movies aimed at young Latina and Black women. I had not seen this craze since the young Latin group called Menudo. So for those of a certain age and musical inclination, "You Got Served" -- is heavenly. They all loved it and would probably give it an A but for those of us not in that group we can still enjoy it. If you love break dancing and can appreciate the art and dedication it takes this energetic upbeat film will keep you entertained. I was feeling the appreciation to Old School Hip Hop, because the soundtrack has no current hot rappers listed except Lil' Kim. You will hear a lot of old school Slick Rick, Special Ed, Dougie Fresh , Melle Mel, and Rocksteady Crew type of jams. Speaking of Rocksteady these new B-boys will give crazy legs Hirsch a run for his money. If you truly love hip-hop then you'll probably like this movie because it has a number of the components Of hip-hop as a back drop mainly rap music and break dancing. This films can satisfy two niche groups although it probably does not intend to it. My niece is standing right by me as I type so I am going to pretend that I did not see the rival break dancers who are about my age and pretend that I one one of the people this movie was meant for and give it a thumbs up.