Aeon Flux, Are We There Yet, Assault on Precinct 13, Bad News Bears, Batman Begins, Beauty Shop, Be Cool, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, The Chronicles of Narnia, Coach Carter, The Constant Gardener, Constantine, Crash, Death of a Dynasty, Derailed, Diary of Mad Black Woman, Doom, Elektra, Fantastic Four, Flightplan, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Four Brothers, Fun With Dick and Jane, G, Get Rich or Die Tryin', The Gospel, Glory Road, Guess Who, A History of Violence, Hitch, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Honeymooners, Hustle & Flow, The Interpreter, In The Mix, Jarhead, King's Ransom, Kingdom of Heaven, King Kong, Kung Fu Hustle, The Longest Yard, Mindhunters, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Munich, Rebound, Red Eye, The Ring 2, Rize, Roll Bounce, Saw 2, Sin City, The Skeleton Key, Star Wars: Episode III, State Property 2, Syriana, War of the Worlds, XXX: State of the Union

Starring Charlize Theron, Frances McDormand, Marton Csokas, Jonny Lee Miller, Sophie Okonedo

Directed by Karyn Kusama

Produced by David Gale, Van Toffler, Tom Rosenberg

Written by Matt Manfredi, Phil Hay, Peter Chung (Source Material)

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: December 2nd, 2005

Synopsis: In the 25th century, a rampaging virus has forced the remnants of humanity into the seclusion of a final city. There is great political conflict within, however, and this is the story of an acrobatic assassin, Aeon Flux (Theron), whose latest target is the government's top leader.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: D

Aeon Flux is set in the future and they do include Blacks, Latinos, and Asians, not in the proportions witnessed in The Matrix but I can watch it because its multicultural. Unfortunately, that is the biggest compliment I can give this film. Apparently, we've learned nothing from Catwoman. Like Halle Berry before her, Charlize Theron is going from an Oscar-winning performance (in Monster) to her own stint as a catsuit-clad superbabe--with equally disastrous results. Based on the anime-influenced cartoon MTV aired in the mid-'90s, Flux has Theron fighting the power in a future society that's only perfect on the surface. Unfortunately, the movie is so badly edited, with so many cutaway shots, that Charlize is completely unconvincing as an action hero, although I was impressed with the stunts that she pulled off. Ole Girl does slow-motion flips and twirls that show off her luxurious, elongated physique to stunning effect. With slick, flattened black hair that makes it seem as if her stylist was going for that Louise Brooks-meets-Hitler look, Theron is an arresting image to many, but, like everything else in Aeon Flux, she's stranded in a trashy and derivative glum zone of fashion-runway fascism. Of course, it doesn't help that the story has more holes than a piece of bullet-riddled Swiss cheese. Or that some of the special effects are equally unbelievable. Or that her outfits are, at times, ridiculously impractical. I mean she is wearing a white catsuit trying to hide at night. And you know a sci-fi action film is failing when even the outfits are bad. 

Flux is too MTV generation with colors and storytelling. They do touch some serious subject matter. However they don't make it relevant to viewers, after all this is the era of George Bush and his "Orwellian "- Total Awareness programs and policies. Instead you watch this and don't feel anything about a real tie in or story. That's a shame cause citizens are disappearing without explanation, and Aeon believes that the high commander, Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas), and his cabinet are responsible, they catch him and drag him all throughout the city, but nobody notices him although there are more pictures up of him in the street that their are liquor billboards in Detroit. Imagine President Bush being dragged through the street by some woman and nobody notices. Its just a ridiculous film but any means. I suggest you save your money. Charlise Theron recently was reported to have said , "Note to self. Do not become Halle Berry" (Theron denies having said this). I am sorry Charlize but you just did.

Starring Ice Cube, Nia Long, Aleisha Allen, Philip Bolden, Jay Mohr

Directed by Brian Levant

Produced by Matt Alvarez, Ice Cube, Dan Kolsrud

Written by Steven Gary Banks Claudia Grazioso J. David Stern David N. Weiss Ice Cube

Distributed by Revolution Studios

Release Date: January 21st, 2005

Synopsis: The fledgling romance between Nick, a playboy bachelor, and Suzanne, a divorced mother of two, is threatened by a particularly harrowing New Year's Eve. When Suzanne's work keeps her in New York City for the holiday, Nick offers to bring her kids to the city from Washington D.C. The kids, who have never liked any of the men their mom has dated, are determined to turn the trip a nightmare for Nick.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

As a family man it is my duty to take my kids to see this and report on it from an adult perspective for you all. With Ice Cube as the lead man in a comedy this feels more like "Is It Over Yet"? In the decade since he arrived in Hollywood, Ice Cube has played all kinds of cops, thugs, soldiers, and barbers. He even directed a movie about a strip club. Sensing that it might be time to do a movie he could watch with his own children, the rapper finally made himself a nice family comedy. Whether "Are We There Yet?" which he produced, will be funny to both kids and adults or either remains to be seen. This gnarly and illogical little sitcom is bound to make any adult reconsider that next outing with the kids.

Cube plays Nick Parsons, a pus*y whipped wanna' be boyfriend, though he has not been intimate with his girlfriend, who he claims to have fallen in love with at first sight. He is also the owner of a sports memorabilia store in Portland, Ore., and he can't stand children, especially the ones that come attached to cute bachelorettes. But he battles his disdain when he meets a single mother of two named Suzanne; since she's played by Nia Long you can understand his willingness to compromise. But you can't entirely grasp how this levelheaded woman could produce a pair of children as super-obnoxious as Lindsey and Kevin (the dangerously spunky Aleisha Allen and Philip Bolden), whom Nick not inaccurately calls ''gremlins." Suzanne's kids are so convinced that their father will rejoin their big happy home that they turn terrorist on their mother's new prospects, subjecting them to bruising contraptions that wouldn't be out of place in ''Home Alone 12."

''I feel sorry for the next sucker that tries to put the moves on her," says Kevin's big sister. So do we, Lindsey, so do we -- though not as sorry as anyone who sticks around for the ensuing kicks to the crotch, projectile vomit, feigned asthma attacks, faked kidnappings, gassy old ladies, and a belligerent computer-enhanced deer. All this foulness arises after Suzanne's ex-husband cancels their arrangement for him to bring the kids to Vancouver. She's an events coordinator and has to be there for New Year's. Dad is out, but St. Nick is in. Of course, getting Lindsey and Kevin north of the border proves a nightmare. After being evicted from the airport (Kevin slips a pocket knife into Nick's coat), then missing the train (Kevin hops off to fetch a missing cape for his superhero toy), Nick dares drive them in his brand new Lincoln Navigator. Lining the interior with plastic and barking commandments -- don't touch the SUV, don't eat in the SUV, and so on -- is merely an invitation to destroy it.

It took four writers and director Brian Levant, who also made ''Jingle All the Way," ''The Flintstones," and ''Snow Dogs," to come up with this home film. Yet despite its faults, ''Are We There Yet?" is the rare movie to acknowledge the vast bandwidth of African-American identity, which extends out of the ghetto and into the suburbs and the middle class. Both kids have an allergic reaction to the music of hip-hop roughneck 50 Cent. ''I'd give him a dollar to shut up," Lindsey snipes. Kevin prefers Clay Aiken, and Nick bemoans that both children are ''ethnically challenged" furthering the myth that 50 Cent music is primarily being purchased by Black kids and that ghetto life means acting black but I guess. Its the only way they think they can get a laugh. I did laugh but only twice and my kids well, they said "it was ok, but we could have waited", though props go out to him for making a movie that one can take the whole family too and they did not even curse or use the N-word .

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, Maria Bello, John Leguizamo, Drea de Matteo

Directed by Jean-François Richet

Produced by David Linde, James Schamus, Jeffrey Silver, Stephane Sperry, Don Carmody, Pascal Caucheteux

Written by James DeMonaco

Distributed by Rogue Pictures

Release Date: January 19th, 2005

Synopsis: During a snowy New Year's Eve, a mobster is temporarily incarcerated at Precinct 13, the soon-to-close police station. As the sun sets and a long night begins, a motley crew of policemen and prisoners reluctantly captained by a cop must band together to fight off a rogue gang that wants to free the mobster.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B

A film with rappers, gangsters and female gang-bangers but there was no N-word used throughout the film, wow that has to be a modern day miracle. Then again maybe it was the fact that this film is actually a remake of the 1976 "cult classic" about cops and criminals joining forces against a jail siege by gang members. Actually this time around it’s about cops and convicts joining forces against a jail siege by crooked, corrupt cops. This time around it’s like the "Larry Davis Story", whereby crooked cops banded together and assaulted the home of drug dealer. Their goal was kill the black criminal who they employed and used to work with before he could testify against them in court (Art imitates life). And they will go to any means necessary to carry out their task but in this movie they come for crime boss of Detroit named Bishop played by Lawrence Fisburne, while he awaits processing in a soon to be abandoned jail during a snowstorm.

John Leguizamo plays a recovering junkie who is very astute politically and paranoid about everything, Ja-Rule plays a fast talking con who sells everything from stolen Rolex’s to fake Rolex’s and although there are other supporting characters those two have a certain on screen chemistry between them in this film that is undeniable, although the main screen chemistry is reserved between Ethan Hawke and Laurence Fishburne who both are good but both also remind you of the characters they played in their last high profile roles, or maybe it is just me. Fishburne as Bishop has very Morpheus like qualities and Hawke as the often glazed-over cop has some Training Day re-lived, type moments on the screen. In all, they both pull it off with some help from Hollywood veteran Jasper O'Shea (Brian Dennehy) who is very belligerent and we can't understand why until late in the film. Fishburne's as Bishop keeps us guessing, wondering about him and that is what powers this film. Audiences will also want to know if our hero, Hawke will find his way back to the person who we see him as in the opening of the film.

The suspense carried about by Fishburne and Hawke eliminates any chances that this movie can get dull , my only problem with this movie lies in a glaring error of inconsistency in the scenery. One second where are all in the "8 Mile" section of Michigan with the action and then we travel a few yards and we are in a heavily wooded forest, resembling something far away from any city but we are supposed to believe that this area is in the middle of downtown Detroit? How is that I want to know? I mean we just saw other building structures a second ago. Maybe it happened when they ran down the long-forgotten sewage tunnel, but they only ran about 80 yards. The last bummer was the bad guys need to talk to the good guys before killing him or trying to kill them, c'mon it never happens like that especially with crooked cops but if you like rap music hang around to the very end and listen to a cut on the soundtrack of this film which has s a new song by KRS-1 that plays in the end -  its something special- Nuff said.

Starring: Queen Latifah, Alfre Woodard, Alicia Silverstone, Andie MacDowell, Della Reese

Directed by Bille Woodruff

Produced by Robert Teitel, George Tillman Jr., Queen Latifah, Shakim Compere, David Hoberman

Written by Kate Lanier, Norman Vance Jr.

Distributed by MGM

Release Date: March 30th, 2005.

Synopsis: Gina Norris (Queen Latifah) is a long way from the 'Barbershop' - now she's in Atlanta making a name for herself at a posh Southern salon with her cutting-edge hairstyles. But when her flamboyant, egotistical boss (Kevin Bacon) takes it one criticism too far, she leaves his salon to open a shop of her own, taking the shampoo girl (Alicia Silverstone) and a few key clients (Andie MacDowell, Mena Suvari) with her. Gina buys a rundown salon and inherits an opinionated group of headstrong stylists (including Alfre Woodard), a colorful clientele, and a sexy upstairs neighbor (Djimon Hounsou).

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C

You probably saw Barbershop, and you may have seen Barbershop 2, so I think you already know what's going on here. If you still haven't figured it out, get a clue or a Blockbuster card - this is basically the female version of the Barbershop series and a spin-off we saw coming a mile away. Ever since the first Barbershop entered the realm of the political with it's ridiculing of black Civil Rights leaders of yesteryear along with other questionable messages,  I've kept an extra eye open about what messages are being passed to young "urban" audiences under the guise of "keeping it real". However, even though the theme is similar, Beauty Shop has a completely different set of screen writers, and probably won't ruffle too many feathers with it's messages, though it's handling of interracial relationships may draw the ire of more than a few sistas'. On the other hand at least it does feature a positive, black female/male love relationship focused around Queen Latifah, and Djimon Hounsou, a actor who physically, is undeniably a black (African) man (light-skin brothers suck it up, ya'll had the 80's but the dark chocolate is 'holding it down' right now - lol). There is also an attempt made to infuse the film with uplifting messages using the poetry of Maya Angelou. I also couldn't help but notice, and appreciate, certain dialogue of Latifah's character where she remarks that she isn't going to allow anyone to use the N-word or call women bitches in her shop. 

The film makes use of a cast of familiar faces though few of them are actually movie stars. For instance Queen Latifah, Kevin Bacon, Alfre Woodard, and Djimon Hounsou, all proven movie commodities share plenty of screen time with Keshia Knight Pulliam ("Rudy Huxtable"), comedian, Lil' J.J., Bryce Wilson ("Groove Theory"), Alicia Silverstone, and Golden Brooks (UPN's "Girlfriends"). There are also cameos by Cash Money rapper, "Baby", Kimora Lee-Simmons, and the Lisa Raye. All these cameos and familiar faces will probably work well with the film's target audience but it doesn't quite cover up the screenwriting that is a bit troubled and seemingly disjointed many times. It's almost as if the writers try so hard to throw a little of everything in the film that it isn't fully cohesive and never has those 2-3 memorable sequences that can make this type of film memorable. There is also the issue that the movie is a comedy but is not really knee-slapping funny. Sure Beauty Shop has it's moments but in general it probably won't have you rolling in the aisles. In addition the film can't help but have that, "been there done that feel to it", because if you saw the first 2 Barbershops you've literally been there done that - white person trying to "act black" subplot and all. If you're looking for some easy fun and not too many surprises at the theater than Beauty Shop may work for you, but keep in mind, just like in the movie, the shop needs a little work.

Synopsis: Morris Buttermaker, a former pro baseball player, was ejected from the game for attacking an umpire and now works as an exterminator. More interested in boozing and broads than baseball, Buttermaker is lured back into the game by Liz Whitewood, an attorney whose class action suit has forced the Little League to accept all players, regardless of their abilities. As the new coach of the Bears, the most losing team in Little League history, Buttermaker has his work cut out for him. Initially, he's only in it for the paycheck, but he and his inept players have a transformative effect on one another that is wholly unexpected, and completely remarkable.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

Back in 1976, there were critics who thought like me and who bashed the original ‘’Bad News Bears” because it relied on kids swearing to get laughs. Its almost 20 years later and I guess there are still critics like me. This movie is an adult movie and should have received an “R” Rating. The language in this movie is just awful, especially considering the fact that I had my kids with me.

I was so embarrassed in the first 10 minutes of the movie. You have kids calling each other all types of stuff in the movie with everything but the f-word in the dialogue. And then you have one player teaching another player how to give the middle finger. I had my young kids with me and looked like one of those irresponsible parents that I write about. How could this get anything less than a R rating?

The movie is like a merger of his ugly drunk in “Bad Santa” and his football coach in “Friday Night Lights,” yet he doesn’t recycle from either movie; Billy Bob Thornton plays it close enough to the vest that his transformation from win-at-all-costs jerk to caring coach is even believable, and that’s gravy in a movie like this. But the question dogging ‘’Bears” remains unanswered. Not why was it made – if the original is fun, it’s no work of genius – but who, exactly, is this FUCKING movie made for? That curse I typed shocked you right ,well if it did don’t go see this FUCKING movie or you will feel like somebody hit you with a 'tazer' gun.

"Look at the [expletive] on that second baseman.” These are the few printable lines of dialogue. There are also shout-outs to sexually suggestive Hooters and the pleasures of sleeping with players’ mothers. “No doubt about it, lady, you got a [expletive]-load of rats down there.” Before hitting the field to take charge of the Bears” Shock value doesn’t equate with truth telling. But what was also a novelty 30 years ago is order of the day today if you are at least warned you can enjoy this film if not you will be talking like me. The real tribute would have been to clean it up even more for today’s audience to show how far we have come as screen writers and producers but as you can see we have not come far at all; to us Pimp turned rappers is the buzz of Cannes.

Back to "Bears" thou, the kids, of course, are worse than ever, especially Tanner (Timmy Deters) and Fat Ass Engelberg (Brandon Craggs). The kids don’t really pick up the slack. They’re a cute but uncharismatic lot, especially Jeff Davies as Kelly Leak, the rebel teen with a power stroke. Sammi Kraft just mopes in the old Tatum O’Neal role of Amanda Whurlitzer, 12-year-old female fastball pitcher.

Bad News Bears ends expectedly since it is a remake; the plot leads inexorably up to the last inning of the final game; we know the routine. The movie suggests that suburban America has embraced a new approach to winning. In other words it undermines the self-congratulatory myths we cultivate about sports in suburbia and rural America Where sportsmanship and fair play once counted for something, success now often includes lying, cheating and stealing, as demonstrated in the recent criminal trials sending millionaire executives off to prison in chains and all the recent doping scandals.

Gumby Dammitt Says: Overall: A

After years of silver screen mediocrity, a DC comics flagship character has finally broken through to challenge Marvel comic’s run of superhero supremacy. Batman is that character, suitably enough, and Batman Begins is the film. One of the biggest moves made oddly enough happens before the film even starts. Taking a cue from rival Marvel comics, DC displays a brief montage of close-up comic panel artwork, which dissolve into spotlights. As the spotlights come together, they form the new DC comics logo. This is important because it identifies where the character comes from, where U can find the character if you want to find out more about him, it tells you that this is a comic book property and who it belongs to. Until Batman Begins, the DC logo had no screen presence whatsoever.

The film opens with a scruffy faced Bruce Wayne in a prison somewhere in the Chinese mountains. Yes, he’s in prison and he did it too. I won’t give away the film, but suffice it to say that this movie delves deep into the psyche of the Dark Knight from his journey around the world as he studies criminal mentality and behavior (even by living and acting amongst them) to his lowest point as a Princeton dropout. Warner Bros. finally realized hat Michael Keaton understood all along, which is that Bruce Wayne is the mask that Batman uses to hide amongst the masses. Bruce Wayne is the false character, created solely to feed the public and the media; a billionaire playboy who dates two at a time and buys hotels if he doesn’t like certain rules, just so he can change them. Batman hides behind Bruce Wayne, not the other way around. And Christian Bale is the perfect actor to bring this truth to cinematic light. His role in American Psycho could be considered basic training for jumping into the mind of comicdom’s most famous noble psycho. Bale nails Wayne’s living torment with such ease that believability is never at issue in the film. The performances all around are sharp and realized, everyone pulling their weight to perfection to make this the best Batfilm ever (which ain’t sayin MUCH thanks to Joel Schumacher, but still,1989’s Batman was damn good) hands down.

Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy give great performances as villains with ambition, focus and purpose, not simply evil and maniacal (most notably The Riddler and Two-Face). Batman Begins gives viewers a complete look into how Batman gets his work done, the necessity of Alfred (played excellently by Michael Caine). Where does he get those wonderful gadgets the Joker mused in 89’s Batman. In 2005’s Batman Begins we find out (well, if you don’t read the comic books or watch Batman: The animated Series) that he gets them from a black engineer and designer named Lucious Fox, skillfully rendered by recent Oscar-Winner, Morgan Freeman. Rounding out what I like to call Team Batman is a younger Jim Gordon, whom we first meet as a uniformed officer shortly after young Bruce’ s parents are murdered. By the end of the film, Jim Gordon rises to Lieutenant and perhaps the most famous Bat-Villian of them all leaves his calling card. This is a great comic book film. Next up, Superman Returns in 2006.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C-

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Ri'chard, Rick Gonzalez, Ashanti, Adrienne Bailon

Directed by Thomas Carter

Produced by David Gale, Brian Robbins, Michael Tollin

Written by Mark Schwahn, John Gatins

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: January 14th, 2005

Synopsis: Inspired by true-life story of controversial high-school basketball coach Ken Carter, who received both high praise and staunch criticism when he made national news in 1999 for benching his entire undefeated basketball team for poor academic performance.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B+

The premise of the story is familiar: Strong authority figure takes over a group of kids in a rough environment, gives them reason to believe they can rise above it, then teaches them how, using "tough love" in the process.

OK I, admit, I love movies like this, a simple message that works time and time again and it's all true at least that's what they tell us. The movie's message, is Coach Carter's message: "Regardless of your circumstances, you can reach high goals by working hard and always doing the right thing." That's a tough message to argue with although there are some that will. The real Carter wants the whole world to take from this movie "that respect, self-discipline and being kind will never, ever go out of style - period." I Can't really argue with that too much either but some will. Sam Jackson resembles Carter but they don't look alike. The real "Carter" believed that Jackson was the man who was much like him and best for that part. Ironically however, Samuel Jackson loves the usage of the N-word and Carter despises it. So the only odd on screen moment for me was hearing Samuel say as Coach Carter "Black people should not use the word." He said in our community, 80 percent of our talk to each other and ourselves is negative, and the N-word is part of that.

Carter was trying to do the right thing a few years ago in 1999 when he padlocked the gym at Richmond High in northern California because one-third of his players were slacking off in class. The publicity was stoked by backlash from the neighborhood; residents of the impoverished area didn't want to give up the sports outlet. Carter who had a greater vision also challenged players to think about their future. He told them not to dream of being the next Michael Jordan, but of becoming the person who signs Jordan's paychecks. He introduced them to business leaders and took them on field trips to places like Silicon Valley, encouraging them to join the crop of cyber-millionaires but these important facts are left out of the movie. Carter did well enough that he drove an expensive car and wore sharp suits, even to practice. His sense of style was meant to show that "not only drug dealers can drive nice cars, dress real well and have good perceptions of themselves." He was about presenting images that transcended basketball.

The movie showed some of the little unique things like his basketball team had only seven plays and each was named for one of Carter's sisters: Diane, Ernestine, Hettie Jean, Cookie, Linda, Deborah and Grace (he has a brother, too, but there wasn't an eighth play for Albert). The idea of hard work was shown through the way he made his players exercise, since conditioning was the one thing a coach could control. He ran them relentlessly, and they ran foes ragged. That was half the battle. There is no need to give more of a break down cause the story is familiar in our real everyday lives using unsung heroes, but it's good that people like this get an occasional spotlight to remind us they exist and everybody is not as apathetic about things as they think. The most powerful thing I took from the film was a quote by his most troubled player "Timo" Cruz who he constantly asked -"What is your worst fear, are you scared to fail" the player never answered but near the end the player finally answered with something very powerful, If I recall he said "our greatest fear is not of failure but that we are powerful beyond all belief and that they were not living up to it." - Nuff said

Starring: Evamarii Johnson, Rupert Pate, Larry Peterson, Charles Frank, Fernando Arenas

Directed by Kevin Willmott

Produced by Rick Cowan

Written by Kevin Willmott

Distributed by IFC Films

Release Date: October 7th, 2005

Synopsis: What if the South had won the Civil War? 'CSA' ventures a glimpse at such a world. It simulates the experience of watching the grand history of the Confederate nation as it fights to preserve its antebellum way of life. After triumphing at Gettysburg, the South sends Lincoln packing to Canada and gets cozy in the White House. The long-term result is slavery of all non-Aryans, an all-out conquest and apartheid in Latin America, an alliance with Hitler, a Cold War with Canada, and a slave shopping network.

Jupiter Hammon Says: Overall: A-

(WARNING: Contains Spoilers) Completed in 2003, Confederate States of America is a film whose release I have eagerly anticipated for well over a year. Yet, somehow, between Hurricane Katrina and high gas prices, it slipped off my radar during its October 2005 theatrical debut. The film has had limited distribution since its release. At the time of viewing, it was showing in less than 25 theaters nationwide. This is very unfortunate because it’s a movie I think a wider audience should see. Maybe this will be possible once it’s release to DVD and cable, but keep in mind it took 2 years to get picked up for distribution. The film is decidedly low budget although the picture quality is good. It was apparently shot or released in television format since it did not take up the movie cinema’s entire screen. The acting is also mediocre by Hollywood standards. But, that’s the point; it’s not a Hollywood film. All of these shortcomings are easily ignored by the films overall concept and storyboard. Movie goers will easily get over these minor distractions. However, be forewarned that this movie holds no punches. It is biting satire on race in America.

Presented by Spike Lee (a sort of endorsement not to be confused with produced by), CSA is a clever mock documentary written and directed by University of Kansas film studies professor Kevin Willmott. The film presents an alternate American history. CSA mocks Ken Burns’ critically acclaimed PBS documentary The Civil War. In this alternate universe, the South won the Civil War and slavery persisted to this day in a Confederacy extending from coast to coast and that colonizes all of Central and South America taking Manifest Destiny to new heights. 

"If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise they'll kill you."- George Bernard Shaw - This quote begins the film which is portrayed as a controversial British Broadcasting Service documentary aired on a Confederate television network that was originally banned because of the nature of its content. The film takes you through Confederate history staying as close to reality as possible. Confederate Secretary of State Judah P. Benjamin successfully persuades Britain and France to intervene in the war resulting in a troop infusion that turns the tide for the Grays at Gettysburg. The Yankees surrender. Lincoln is exiled. And, Robert E. Lee wants to get rid of all the slaves. He’s labeled an undercover emancipationist virtually destroying his military and political career. During Reconstruction of the North where Boston and New York have been burned and pillaged and most of the region remains in ruins with the people depressed and dejected, President Jefferson Davis brings slavery back to Northerners to unite the nation. Whites are told to rebuild the North themselves or take a slave. The majority choose to take a slave. Slavery for everyone according to white heritage is the national mantra. The Davis Plan was a huge success and solidifies the slave economy and the CSA way of life. Some Northerners reject this way of life and flee to Canada. And just as they did during the antebellum period, runaway slaves continue to seek refuge in Canada creating strained relations with the CSA. After several decades, things come to a head ending with the CSA building a wall along its border with “Red Canada” fittingly called the Cotton Curtain. The John Brown Underground is a revolutionary group with the Confederate Bureau of Investigation (CBI) hot on their tails. The Office of Racial Identity is established to ensure racial purity through DNA testing. 

Framing this film as a television program allows for commercial breaks which Willmott uses as satirical interludes although satire is spread throughout the film. Commercials air for the TV show Leave It to Beulah, Sambo X-15 engine cleaner, the Slave Shopping Network and Massacard, The Shackle (a lo-jack device), Coon Chicken Inn, and Darky toothpaste to name a few. Willmott also uses fake footage such as a phony D.W. Griffith silent film about the capture of Lincoln disguised in blackface and a Hollywood film I Married An Abolitionist. 

All of this is meant to shock the audience which it succeeds at doing. It’s suppose to be comedic along the lines of a Dave Chappelle skit. However, like some of Chappelle’s skits CSA falls just short of funny but is nonetheless thought provoking. I just never really laughed nor did the 19 Caucasian people viewing the film with me. Willmott exposes racism at its core. Only a skinhead or Ku Klux Klansman could laugh. To put things into context, the film ends by recapping all of the commercials and then asks whether things have really changed in an America that still uses racial stereotypes to promote products such as Uncle Ben’s Rice and Aunt Jemima’s Pancakes and Syrup. The film left me pondering whether the South really lost the war. I’ve often said that significant parts of the Northeast, Midwest, and Western United States harbor what I call Confederate Southern Sentiments. The Mason-Dixie line in all actuality is imaginary and white skin is a strong bond. Sure, the Confederates lost the physical battle but they’ve certainly won the White House, the nation, and a large part of American culture which is grounded in White supremacy.

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz, Danny Huston, Archie Panjabi, Bill Nighy

Directed by Fernando Meirelles

Produced by Gail Egan, Robert Jones, Donald K. Ranvaud

Written by Jeffrey Caine

Distributed by Focus Features

Release Date: August 31st, 2005

Synopsis: When a British diplomat's wife -- a socially-conscious lawyer -- turns up dead in Kenya, he sets out to find the truth surrounding her murder. In the process, he finds out that his wife had been compiling data against a multinational drug company that uses helpless Africans as guinea pigs to test a tuberculosis remedy with unfortunately fatal side effects. Therefore those who may have had the most reason to silence her are closer to home than he ever imagined.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: A

Its so refreshing to have a suspense thriller that talks about the truth in the world. The Constant Gardner is the smartest thriller in recent memory. Based on a novel by John le Carré and directed by City of God's Fernando Meirelles, the film is a parable for modern times, both socially conscious and deeply intellectual. If you don't read or stay up on current events then stay home, you will think this is just another conspiracy theory film. Set amid a Kenyan labyrinth of corporate greed fueling a rash of African kleptocrats often installed by U.S. imperialism, Gardner tackles the exploitation by mammoth international pharmaceutical companies of a country desperate for medical assistance. The Constant Gardener brings unprecedented exposure to crucial issues facing the Western pharmaceutical industry and all those who use it to exploit.

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Max Baker, Djimon Hounsou, Tilda Swinton

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Produced by Lauren Shuler Donner, Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, Benjamin Melniker, Michael E. Uslan, Erwin Stoff, Akiva Goldsman

Written by Frank Cappello, Kevin Brodbin, Mark Bomback

Distributed by Warner Bros. 

Release Date: February 18th, 2005.

Synopsis: John Constantine (Reeves) is a world-traveling, mage-like misfit who investigates supernatural mysteries and the like, walking a thin line between evil and good. Constantine teams up with a female police detective, Angela (Weisz), who seeks Constantine's help while investigating the suicide-like death of her twin sister. Does it have something to do with a mysterious group called "The First of the Fallen"? And what is it about Constantine that puts him in a position where he is making deals with representatives from both Heaven and Hell?

Gumby Dammitt Says: Overall: B

OK so Gumby went to the movies this weekend, cause y’know when a comic book adaptation hits the big screen, I have to investigate. So let’s talk about Constantine, based on the Hellblazer graphic novels from the DC/Vertigo imprint. Now first off, I’m only vaguely familiar with the Hellblazer mythos so allow me to qualify myself in that regard (I haven’t been doing my comic book homework very much lately, so sue me). I DO know, however that in the graphic novels John Constantine looks a lot less like Keanu Reeves and a lot more like Sting. That notwithstanding, Constantine is well conceived, smartly written and Reeves (the actor everybody loves to bash) manages to capture the essence of John Constantine quite well. The story revolves around the son of the devil and his plans to leap-frog his daddy and takes over the plane of mankind. Lil Satan’s plan involves possession of a powerful psychic, the spear of Destiny (the blade of the spear that mortally wounded Jesus on the cross) and of course, one final, ironic ingredient, but I’ve already said too much. John Constantine is something of a supernatural detective/exorcist who is doomed to hell for a sin he committed long ago. Attempting to buy his way back into heaven by banishing as many demons back to the plane of hell as he can before he dies of lung cancer bought on by a wicked smoking habit. But this film does something different. Although you see Constantine constantly smoking cigarettes and even close-ups on cigarettes themselves, the film avoids becoming a commercial for any brand. You never see any boxes or recognizable trademarks and the fact remains that the lead character is dying because of his cigarette addiction. Pretty strong statement against the tobacco mafia. The special effects were cool and didn’t come to dominate the film. I felt like the director used the special effects sequences as vehicles to move the story along as opposed to having some cool special effects in mind first and then wrapping scenes around them. There’s a scene near the end of the film involving John Constantine and Lucifer which basically displays for the viewer the spirit of the character Constantine, and I won’t ruin it for you all, but you will enjoy it. I did think the young sidekick/apprentice character played by Shia LaBeouf would get on my nerves severely before it was all said and done, but thankfully the character wasn’t over-used and even became of some use in the final outcome. Big up to Djimon Hounsou for doing a lot with a little in a small albeit pivotal role as Papa Midnight. I enjoyed Constantine. I think I’ll go and check out the graphic novels now while I wait for Sin City to land this spring. Besides, isn’t that what a comic book movie is supposed to do, make you wanna go read the actual stories? Well maybe if it’s any good.

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, William Fichtner

Directed by Paul Haggis

Produced by Cathy Schulman, Don Cheadle, Bob Yari

Written by Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco

Distributed by Lions Gate Films 

Release Date: May 6th, 2005.

Synopsis: A Brentwood housewife and her DA husband. A Persian storeowner. Two police detectives, who are also lovers. A black television director and his wife. A Mexican locksmith. Two car-jackers. A rookie cop. A middle-aged Korean couple. They all live in Los Angeles. And, in the next 36 hours, they will all collide.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B+

I'm not sure what it was that intrigued me about this film, since I knew very little about before seeing it. Crash didn't seem to have a blockbuster budget, not that a good film needs one, but it did have an All-star cast, or if not All-star, at least a cast of very recognizable faces, the short list of which includes Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Esposito, William Fichtner, Brendan Fraser, Terrence Howard, Thandie Newton Larenz Tate (glad to see him really working again), and Chris Bridges a.k.a. Ludacris. I guess when you're a writer/director like Paul Haggis, whose screenplay recently led to an academy award ("Million Dollar Baby"), you're better able to get actors to check their egos at the door. In fact some people even checked their personas at the door, as you won't find the name Ludacris in the credits on this one as the rapper chose to use his birth name, Chris Bridges, for his prominent role as half of a duo of carjackers (Laurenz Tate is the other half). Chris "Ludacris" Bridges tackles his role quite seriously and does a solid job I might add, much to his own credit.  

Crash takes place in Los Angeles, and interlocks the stories of Whites, Blacks, Latinos, Koreans, Iranians, cops, criminals, criminal cops, the rich, the poor, the powerful and powerless, and the ways their lives all relate to each other. The film’s larger plot centers around a car crash that suddenly brings together the lives of the two carjackers, a Brentwood housewife and her District Attorney husband (Sandra Bullock and Brendan Fraser), a black television director and his wife (Terrence Howard and Thandie Newton), a rookie cop (Ryan Phillipe), two police detectives who are also lovers (Jennifer Espisito and Don Cheadle), a Persian storeowner, a Mexican locksmith, and a middle-aged Korean couple. The film's title is doubly fitting as these interactions are sometimes related to the collisions of the character's vehicles, but more often the tension and conflicts caused by the prejudiced perceptions and/or racism of the characters. At times the characters are able to rise above their own prejudice and that of the greater society but one way or another most are guilty of it and eventually affected by it.

Writer Paul Haggis said he was inspired to write the script after he was carjacked at gunpoint coming out of a video store in Los Angeles. After returning home and changing all the locks in his house, he started thinking about the men who stole his car – how long they’d been friends; what they did in their downtime. Haggis said he tried to tackle the carjackers story from the perspective of the carjacker, a feat I would say he deserves credit for at least trying, but undoubtedly Haggis ability to see the world from this or any perspective or a person of color (particularly black a black one) is quite limited. In fact, I would say the marginal success of expressing the view and experiences of the films black characters is one of the few suspect points in the film. Though they are interesting, and not at all one-dimensional the Black characters, and some of the ways in which race and racism is dealt with in this film make it abundantly clear that it was written by a White male. In a scene sure to send chills down the spine of nearly any Black adult whose has ever had an encounter with the police, the black television director played by Terrence Howard (who in my opinion is an exceptional, but underrated actor) and his wife are pulled over rather arbitrarily by the LAPD. The encounter leads to one of the officers, an often detestable and racist cop, played by Matt Dillon groping and violating the Black director's significant other. It's a scene that many African-American men and women will likely find particularly hard to come to turns with as you find yourself asking, "what would you have done?" At the same time no expense is spared in efforts to later humanize this officer. It's not that other characters, aren't also humanized and attempts made to explain their behavior, it's just that in the cases with racism involving Whites their seems to be an attempt to explain it as a response to "something". The racist gun shop owner who verbally abuses the Persian Storeowner and his daughter is responding to September 11th; the racist cop who abuses his power is angry about what perceived preferential treatment of blacks ala affirmative actions; the District Attorney's wife (Bulluck) has a problem with people of color because she was carjacked and traumatized, etc. The attempts to explain-away White racism lead to diatribes that often go without rebuttal or address and really belie the way racism operates and is lived in this country. Simple put racism, particularly the pervasive kind projected against people of color (mainly Blacks and Latinos) in America is NOT a "response" to any mistreatment of Whites, it's simply part of the social fabric that this the country was woven with and it's an issue this nation refuses to deal address. It is the racist in a position of power either individually or collectively who have concocted these fantasies about being under siege, when in fact this country to lesser or greater degrees has always been this way, and so have the psyches of the racist and the generations who preceded them. 

For some, the directness and "politically incorrect" dialogue may cause some discomfort but ultimately if makes the film feel more authentic and makes the story hit home harder. Not many films have the possibility of making their audiences better people, but the diversity of the character base makes for ample opportunities to find a character you can identify with and also will hopefully give many viewers a chance for introspection. Overall Crash is a well-acted, provocative, raw, and thought provoking film, that despite it's shortcomings is an absolute must see.

Starring: Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Devon Aoki, Chloë Sevigny, Capone, Robert Stapleton

Directed by Damon Dash

Produced by Steven C. Beer, Damon Dash

Written by N/A

Distributed by TLA Releasing

Release Date: April 29th, 2005 (LA/NY).

Synopsis: A young journalist, David Katz (Moss-Bachrach), who writes for a hip-hop magazine called "Mic Check", starts following a music mogul (Capone) around as part of a story and over time incorrectly starts to think he is part of that world, which leads to him writing an article for a gossip newspaper that starts a rivalry between the producer and his most famous rapper.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C

This film is important and interesting for rap 'documentarians' because it's theme is a parody that foreshadows the end of Rocafella, the record label headed by the business man Damon Dash and the creative force Jay-Z, whose music and "thug diva" personality carried the Rocafella name to stardom. It comes out officially at a time when both the leading national Hip-Hop magazines are carrying feature stories on the split between the two.  The split was something that many had speculated was inevitable a long time ago, since many believed that the egos of Damon Dash and Jay-Z were on a collision course, no matter how much they both denied it.

This film was actually done about 4 years ago, which makes the foreshadowing in this movie uncanny, something that critics will continue to analyze over and over as they write the history of the now "defunct" Rocafella records. Even as I read over the packaging of my bootleg DVD, I noticed that Damon Dash's name always precedes Jay-Z's name and the bulk of the money from this film is going to Dash. It's no secret even watching this film, that it comes more from the personality and perspective of Damon Dash who ironically seems to want more fame than Jay-Z who enjoys his fame but wants less of it.

Although the filming of this movie began years ago the cameo personalities were being added and edited up until late last year and Death of a Dynasty features a slew of cameo appearances from boxing champions, past and present to upcoming talent like Devon Aoki and Kevin Hart who star in the film and serve as vital actors unlike the many spot cameo roles ranging from Chloe Sevigny's to Walt Frazier. The presence of Asian and European supermodels dominant this film, they walk and ride hand in hand with the feature characters as girlfriends and sex symbols while black women in this film seem to be reserved for background stripping, pole hugging or loud mouth aggressive commentators.

Dash proves he has a sense of humor although the film is really not funny. Some of the contempt that he holds for certain people comes through as obvious. Death of a Dynasty serves as a good satire. This film makes a total mockery of Lyor Cohen, the former President of Def Jam and P-Diddy, something that P-Diddy has gone on the record stating that he was not too happy about. Since he is not affiliated with Rockafella his portrayal is more bashing than playful poking unlike the fun poked at Funkmaster Flex's likeness or Damon Dash and Jay Z. It's a double-edged sword because it takes the edge away from the critics but also lends credibility to their critiques. It is almost like a documentary diss that veers unsteadily between satire and marketing propaganda for Dash's Roc-A-Fella records. In terms of actual content much of the film's actual direction hits like slapstick comedy created by humorist that operate outside of the rap community. The film looses focus halfway into it and ends without the audience really caring about the conclusion. The final edited product we see is likely the result of the state of the relationship between the two former business partners. Now that Dash has gone on record in magazines and said enough about the break up to make Jay-Z look pretty untrustworthy without going into many specifics, it's fair to say that this is likely only the start of their now public disagreement. One thing that I personally find interesting is the speculation on Jay Z 's character.

One story Dash tells to XXL was about Jay's sneaky maneuvering (hinted at in the movie). In selling Roc-A-Fella to Def Jam/Universal, Jay-Z got the rights to the Roc-A-Fella name. His commentary on that situation is "I was shocked at the Roc-A-Fella shit. Really shocked. I'm sure in his heart it sits well, but it didn't make sense to me." -- They had a conversation -- "I was like, 'It's aight to go do your own thing, but I don't agree with the fact that they offered you the name to keep.' And he was like, 'They bought it, they could do what they want with it.' And I was like, 'Aight,' and just left it at that.. Then he was like, 'you can get the name if you give me.. 'Like he was negotiating with me. I never negotiated with my friends. If we gave him the masters for Reasonable Doubt, he'd let us keep Roc-A-Fella." To J its all business but Dash carries the slogan "At the end of the day it's all Hip hop" throughout the film. This may be a veiled attempt at telling us that all of what we witnessed is closer to the truth that they are willing to go on record (no pun intended) and say. If some time in the future one of the parties (most likely Dash) reveals those factual parts I doubt that their fans will be surprised. - Nuff said

Starring: Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston, Melissa George, Vincent Cassel, Robert 'The RZA' Diggs

Directed by Mikael Håfstrom

Produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Jonathan Gordon, Jeremy Steckler

Written by Stuart Beattie, James Siegel

Distributed by The Weinstein Company

Release Date: November 11th, 2005

Synopsis: Charles, a successful ad exec and loyal family man meets an alluring and sexy woman on his morning commute. Flirtation quickly escalates into passion. But this casual fling turns dangerous when a violent criminal confronts and pulls them into a dangerous plot. Now with their entire lives thrown off-course, Charles must figure out how to turn the tables and somehow save their families.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

Filmed in Chicago, “Derailed” stars Clive Owen as Charles Schine, a Chicago advertising exec married to a woman he used to love and father to a daughter whose love is almost enough. We’re told in passing that Charles was once a teacher but traded in his blackboard for a high-paying job to foot the high-priced realities of his daughter’s Type 1 diabetes. Stuart Beattie, who adapted “Derailed” from a novel by James Siegal, has been a busy man since penning last year’s “Collateral,” a movie that never felt whole to me, beautiful as it was to look at. But “Derailed” feels exciting but unsure, like the writer and director aren’t quite sure we get it, so they say it again.

Don’t let anybody fool you the juice in ‘’Derailed” is in Jennifer showing a dark side and the supporting role of RZA as Winston Boyko, the office mail guy and former convict who becomes Charles’s foreseeable protector from the villain. The rapper/producer/composer gives his character a sweet smile and dead eyes and played a complex role as a daytime nerd with a street suave that is part of what he does. As the stereotype with some truth to it goes, all white executives know (as, indeed, all executives of every race know), when you are in trouble and need to step outside the borders of the law, there’s always a black guy in the mail room who you can count on. This guy is always smarter and more experienced in the ways of the real world than any mere executive could ever hope to be. Soon Charles enlists the help of his ad agency’s mail clerk Winston, who matter-of-factly admits to killing a man in prison to survive and still holds onto his makeshift knife. Winston knows how the villain’s ways or so he thinks. RZA is complex character and not playing a simple thug sidekick role as Xizibit and this is everything to this thriller. He becomes Charles’ adviser and dirty-work expert, charging only 10 percent of the villain’s extortion demand of 100,000, which is kind of a finder’s fee in reverse, for making sure the French villain get lost.

Charles is the hero of “sorts”. A selfish man, a dweeb even if he wasn’t going through an emotional crisis but he will endear to many of us because he is a nice “liberal” guy, although he betrays RZA and his family to the point where what he does seems unforgivable unless we are walking in his shoes. He can never really make it up to us or become totally tough in the end but Lucinda (Jennifer Anniston) is pure femme fatale, a short but leggy business exec in spike heels shiny enough to reflect her flirty eyes. Excuse me, but the role is a better fit for — yikes — Angelina Jolie than girl-next-door Aniston. However there comes a time in every actress’ life when, no matter how solidified as the girl next door, she must go dark, show demons, transgress. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming Swedish director Mikael Hafstrom, making his English-language debut, was thinking.

The rape is somewhat perfect at least how it takes place. Our 2 characters travel to a seedy hotel. Slumming it in a seedy hotel (Lucinda is afraid she’ll run into her husband at the Peninsula or the Four Seasons or the Park Hyatt), the two embark on their sexy liaison when—bam—a violent stranger breaks into their room, pistol-whips Charles into semi-consciousness and brutally rapes Lucinda. The rape scene was nowhere near as bad or gruesome as reported; in fact we don’t see much of anything. We actually imagine the rape from Charles’ hazy and helpless perspective, with Lucinda’s whimpers and her attacker’s grunts filling in the blanks. It drives home the powerlessness of Charles’ existence (he can’t cure his daughter, he can’t save his marriage, he can’t protect Lucinda). Its effect was to make the events that follow seem more plausible. I had to remind myself that as married men sometimes our biggest fear is losing what we have although its usually over something we want but don’t need. Charles actions are due to his fear of losing his wife and daughter over infidelity, and the idea that Lucinda is motivated by the same fear. Lucinda begs Charles to stay away from the police, and the two return to their regularly scheduled lives, a task in which they both seem to want if only the French villain- a man named Laroche keeps acting villainous

“Derailed” builds a good amount of tension until the Big Twist is revealed (a twist that took me by surprise, later made me feel dumb and, no, I will not even hint at it for fear you might throw plantains at my house) and then devolves into a series of smaller, less revelatory, more ridiculous “shockers.”

Starring: Kimberly Elise, Steve Harris, Tyler Perry, Shemar Moore, Lisa Marcos

Directed by Darren Grant

Produced by Tyler Perry, Reuben Cannon

Written by Tyler Perry

Distributed by Lions Gate Films

Release Date: February 25th, 2005 (wide).

Synopsis: Helen McCarter (Kimberly Elise) seemingly had the perfect life with husband Charles McCarter (Steve Harris). Over the years, Helen has been a faithful and loving wife, while Charles built a successful and lucrative career as a prominent Atlanta attorney. They wear the latest fashions, drive the nicest cars, have all the possessions they need, and they live on an expansive estate complete with an extravagant mansion, swimming pool, tennis court and all the trappings of wealth - a little piece of paradise away from the city. However, on the eve of their 18th wedding anniversary, Helen's paradise begins to crumble as Charles announces that he wants a divorce. He abruptly and literally tosses Helen out of the mansion to make room for the other woman. With all of her possessions packed in a moving van, Helen starts on her journey to put the pieces of her life back together. Through the assistance of her friends, family, faith, and a twist of fate, Helen finds the strength and empowerment she needs to get control of her circumstances. She also finds that the tragic events of her life soon become comic, especially with the guidance and help - mostly unsolicited, by the way - of her pot-smoking, gun-toting, and much beloved grandmother figure Madea (Tyler Perry).

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C+

The Diary of a Mad Black Woman earned $22.7 million it's opening week and was in a mere 1400 theaters nationwide. Impressive especially when you compare that too bigger budgeted and advertised films, like "Man of the House" which opened in almost twice as many theaters (2400) and earned $9 million. In the wake of the 20 million plus and No.1 box office win of Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman, (DMBW)" I was shocked into doing a review of this chitlin circuit film. The "Hood" came to the theatre last week, well not just the hood but overall this was Black people buying these tickets, this wasn't a crossover film like "Are We There Yet". Diary of a Mad Black Woman, was largely unknown outside the African-American community. 

Due to the surprising success of DMBW the entertainment arm of the film's distributor Lions Gate has acquired the home video distribution rights for all of Perry's works in a new seven-DVD deal. The plays include: "Madea's Class Reunion," "I Can Do Bad All By Myself," "Madea's Family Reunion," "Meet the Browns," "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and "Madea Goes to Jail." One additional title will be named later. Four of the DVD's in the agreement will be released in conjunction with Lions Gate's early summer 2005 home video release of Diary of a Mad Black Woman. In all likelihood if you liked the plays of this stuff you will like the movie but actually the plays are better. But caution this film sucks immensely as a drama. It pretends to be a drama involving a humble woman and her rich abusive black husband vs. her broke morally flawless boyfriend who wants to be her husband, but its portrayal is so over the top that its offensive to the making of a real drama, the characters are flat and linear.

I was just waiting to see what sort of outrageous but covertly funny humor that Madea was going to come on the screen with. It's predictable humor but funny to many including me, but I am not sure why yet, my hunch is that many of us know older "Mad Black Women". Of course Perry pushes the envelope on termagants that like to beef and talk slick to everybody, they can usually see through the bullshit of everybody but themselves. Ironically if Madea were not a man dressed as a woman and were really a female gun-toting, trash-talking woman, there would not be too much humor in that to many of the audience goers who support Tyler Perry's plays in the past. The fact that the film comes out of a Baptist Christian beginning and has religious undertone probably makes it acceptable. Not to mention that crazed Madea is played opposite Helen McCarter (Elise). Elise character is what most men would be looking for in a wife. She's devoted, loving, and supporting, albeit damn near perfect in the Baptist Church's eyes. Even thou her self esteems is lower than an artic winter. I saw the film on bootleg so I am not sure how the audience was reacting but my guess is that there were some women talking to the screen, cheering for a man dressed as a woman cause they felt he was more woman than they could ever be.- Nuff said

Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Ben Daniels, Razaaq Adoti

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak

Produced by John Wells, Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, John D. Schofield

Written by Wesley Strick, David Callaham

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing, Universal Pictures Distribution

Release Date: October 21st, 2005

Synopsis: Something has gone wrong at a remote scientific research station on Mars. All research has ceased. Communication has failed. And the messages that do get through are less than comforting. It's a level 5 quarantine, and the only souls allowed in or out are the Rapid Response Tactical Squad - hardened Marines armed to the teeth with enough firepower to neutralize any enemy...or so they think. The research being done at Olduvai station has unwittingly opened a door, and all hell has broken loose. A legion of nightmarish creatures of unknown origin lurks behind every wall and stalks the countless rooms and tunnels of the facility, killing what few people remain. Sealing off the portal to Earth, Sarge, Reaper and their team must use every weapon at their disposal - and some they find along the way - to carry out their orders: nothing gets out alive.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B-

"Doom" is the best movie ever made from a video game. In many respects, it's a more inventively executed version of previous such adaptations: a diminishing group of well-armed soldiers blast away at monsters in a confined setting. The problem with most video-game movies is that you're stuck watching someone else play on the big screen. "Doom" manages to take the essential concepts, parameters and action of the game universe and create a story around them that works on its own terms. The film is minimalist in the extreme. Plot, character development and dialogue are sparse. But this basic approach doesn't render it ineffectual. There's so little to go wrong that those who like their entertainment wild and violent will find little fault.

"Doom" is targeted at a tight demographic of computer gamers and young men. It makes concessions to no one else. Fans of the shoot-'em-up game -- and there are many -- will doubtlessly troop into theaters out of a mixture of loyalty and curiosity. I have kids so I am familiar with the video game called "Doom" (not that I let them play it). I used to like to mess around and play video games a little bit so I may be prejudiced to support video games turned movies with a hidden and subtle message in it. That message is that any solider who simply follows order and protocol with no regard to morality and human life is no hero .... enter "The Rock".

Right away, we get the point that he's tough. His character's name is Sarge, and in huge letters, "Semper Fi" is tattooed across shoulders wide enough to display all the titles in L.L. cool J's discography. Sarge barks "listen up" and "leave is canceled." He's a kick ass dude but slowly we realize that he is not the real hero just because he is supposed to be on the side of good. Its so interesting since it relates to the world scene now for those that pay careful attention to the news.

If you play the game, you will love this film. If you don’t play the game you will like it because you won't have many expectations. If you like horror and Sci-Fi you get a double dose for your buck. In the end it’s the rock as the marquee man in a film where he doesn't even turn out to be the hero.

Starring Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic, Terence Stamp, Jason Isaacs, Will Yun Lee

Directed by Rob Bowman

Produced by Mark Steven Johnson, Gary Foster, Avi Arad, Arnon Milchan

Written by Raven Metzner, Stuart Zicherman, Zak Penn

Distributed by Touchstone Pictures

Release Date: January 15th, 2005

Synopsis: Following the events of Daredevil, Elektra Natchios (Garner), sai enthusiast and assassin for hire, is revived by the Order of the Hand, a group of assassins who helped train her. Assigned by the Hand's current leader, Kirigi, to kill a man, Mark Miller (Visnjic), and his 13-year-old daughter, Abby, Elektra soon befriends them and decides to stand up to her ninja peers. Elektra is especially motivated to do so when she discovers that Miller's grandfather was an ally of her former mentor, Stick (Stamp). Together, they must take on Kirigi's lethal quartet (which includes Tengu and Typhoid).

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: D+

Jennifer Garner is back as "Elektra," the fiery martial arts queen from "Daredevil,", recall she died in Daredevil but for some reason they brought her back to life as a spectacular comic book heroine, but this movie is more a chance for Garner to show us how hot her body is than anything else. Marvel Studios, movie arm of the ubiquitous Marvel franchise, may be setting the gold standard for comic book film adaptations, with gilt-edged entertainments like last year's "Spider-Man 2" and "X2." But "Elektra," first out of their box this year, is as bad as they come. "Daredevil," the 2003 film epic on Marvel's man without fear--and the picture that introduced Jennifer Garner's kick-butt heroine to the screen--seemed to me the weakest of all Marvel entries to date. But "Elektra" makes "Daredevil" look good, well maybe its not that bad. The best thing about this movie is that the production team is offer to donate the proceeds of auctioning off Elektra's costume in the movie to help out with the tsunami relief funds. They can do this fairly easily because it 's very certain there will not be a sequel at least if the general public is lucky.

The storyline for the film revolves around the world renowned assassin, Elektra. Early in the film she is hired to kill a man (Goran Visnjic) and his daughter (Kirsten Prout). Instead of following through with her assignment, Elektra befriends the pair and chooses to protect them as another group of assassins is sent in her place to kill them. Behind the assassination attempts is a powerful and ruthless crime ring known as The Hand. The Hand will stop at nothing to get to the man and his daughter even if it means killing Elektra herself. Elektra must fight not just to save herself, but to also exercise demons from her past while trying to unravel the mystery behind why The Hand so badly wants the man and his daughter dead.

There are several decent action sequences involving not just Elektra, but her many interesting foes as well. Unfortunately the villains die way too easy and simple. There are several instances where the viewer must "suspend" reality, but for the most part the film is about what you would expect for a TNT special but its not worth you spending movie money on. Garner plays the comic book style heroine with the tortured soul perfectly as she literally pouts her way through scene after scene. She is "PMS'ing" every 5 minutes and outside of the 5 minute lip lock with a female villain, she is really acting miserable each time her mouth opens. Let's start with acting. There is none. Special effects? Simply weird, creepy, and for the most part ridiculous. The plot? Even more off the wall and dumb. The characters? You're better off trying to have a conversation with your spoon. The action? Fairly hokey. Recommendation: Please don't see this, why damage your senses needlessly?. There's really no reason. If you have some strong urge to see Jennifer Garner whoop it up (understandable), sit at home on any Wednesday night and watch Alias. This movie really doesn't deserve to make any money.

Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon

Directed by Tim Story

Produced by Bernd Eichinger, Ralph Winter, Avi Arad

Written by Michael France, Mark Frost

Distributed by Twentieth Century Fox

Release Date: July 8th, 2005.

Synopsis: Marvel's first family of comic superheroes takes the world by storm as the longest running comic book series in history comes to the big screen. Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic, who can elongate his body; Susan Storm/Invisible Woman, who not only can become invisible at will but can render other objects invisible; Johnny Storm/Human Torch, who can shoot fire from his finger tips and bend flame; and Ben Grimm/The Thing, a hideously misshapen monster with superhuman strength, together battle the evil Doctor Doom.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B-

Marvel comics has been hitting a lot of home runs lately, with the critics and with the box office, by bringing it's comic book characters to the big screen. They've put out two Spiderman movies, two X-Men movies, one Hulk film, and let's not forget, three Blade films, and they are working on additional film installments to most of these comic lines. Enter the latest installment by Marvel comic, The Fantastic Four. And this was definitely an installment a long time in the making as the film was postponed, switched writers, and appeared like it might be shelved a number of times. I'm just glad it's finally out so the media can calm down on the saturation-bombing, advertisement campaign for this movie that's seemingly been on every station.

It's funny how big a roll expectations unusually play in a person's feelings about an experience. After reading several days worth of negative and mediocre reviews about The Fantastic Four I was more than prepared for a terrible movie. Truth be told The Fantastic Four was far from terrible, though it I'd be lying if I said that it was as good as some other Marvel comic based movies like either Spiderman movie or the X-Men sequel. The biggest problem with the film is that it was clearly directed at a young and teenage audience, so while the weak dialogue, occasionally choppy script, and sometime "cheesy" feel of the film may bother many adults it would probably be lost on many younger people. The films multiple attempts at humor aren't so "cheesy" however, that adults can't appreciate them as I snickered a number of times usually as a result of something having to do with the The Human Torch's character whose personality carries the film. The action to showcase The Fantastic Four's super powers is good too, though the scenarios that allow them to showcase their power's seem a bit contrived. It's great that the comics and movie houses have waited until they actually had the technology to do these superheroes justice on the big screen before making these movies. Overall The Fantastic Four wasn't quite fantastic and they'll probably have to "step their game up" to get a thumbs up from many adults or even many older, hardcore comic book fans, if their is a sequel, but it was a fun and entertaining ride despite it's shortcomings. In addition it was something that you could take the whole family to and they could enjoy it, even the younger children. 

Starring Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard, Erika Christensen, Sean Bean, Haley Ramm

Release Date: September 23rd, 2005

Synopsis: Flying at 40,000 feet in a cavernous, state-of-the-art E-474 aircraft, Kyle Pratt (Foster) faces every mother's worst nightmare when her six-year-old daughter Julia vanishes without a trace mid-flight from Berlin to New York. Already emotionally devastated by the unexpected death of her husband, Kyle desperately struggles to prove her sanity to the disbelieving flight crew and passengers while facing the very real possibility that she may be losing her mind. While neither the plane's Captain Rich (Sean Bean), nor Air Marshal Gene Carson (Peter Sarsgaard) want to doubt the bereaved widow, all evidence indicates that her daughter was never on board resulting in paranoia and doubt among the passengers and crew of the plane. Finding herself desperately alone, Kyle can only rely on her own wits to solve the mystery and save her daughter.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: D

Jodie Foster disregards the "Fasten Seat Belt" sign in "Flightplan and she is all over the place - which makes for a roller coaster ride if you can get over the preposterous premise." You have to disregard the script of this thriller because it is not believable at all. I am so mad at the outcome that I am going to give away the plot if you keep reading.

With all of the airport security nowadays, how a little girl could disappear mid-flight is one question, but how could a plane have over 400 people and nobody see the little white girl but Jodie Foster. We know in America that White girls get all of the attention when they disappear. There's no record of her daughter on the manifest and none of the flight attendants or other passengers recalls seeing her on the plane. To coordinate such a massive conspiracy takes at least 4 co-conspirators and everything still must go right. It’s just crazy starting with a feeble minded Air Marshall who fools us only because reality checks rules out certain things happening but they do in this movie. Jodie Foster finds herself desperately trying to convince Captain Rich (Sean Bean) and the on-board air marshal, Gene Carson (Peter Sarsgaard), that she's not just a grief-stricken woman made delusional by her recent loss, and that there really is a little girl named Julia on the plane. There's no substitute for clever plotting, however, and Flightplan doesn't have it. In the end it's no more preposterous than the recent, similarly plane-bound affair, "Red Eye." I was in the theatre for that also. 

Jodie is “out there” in this movie, especially for a so called hero. A selfish heroine who endangers everybody on the plane’s life and accuses innocent Arabs of being pedophiles and terrorist trying to kidnap her daughter. How can I cheer for her? I mean she was a damn nuisance! Not since the "Twilight Zone" movie has a flight been thrown into such panic by one passenger. Don’t get it twisted I like Jodie Foster, when she makes a movie, respect must be paid. Ever since her Oscar-winning performances in "The Accused" and "The Silence of the Lambs," we know when someone messes with Jodie, she messes back. Only this time its not too far fetched. It's genius that she’s a propulsion engineer who knows every nook and cranny of the plane cause that’s important to the plot but the idea that the air marshal knew she and her daughter were going to sleep once they got on board and all the other stretches of imagination, annoy more than thrill. In the end it’s a good from the standpoint of a psychological thriller but it takes on some preposterous event planning to go through. It seems innocent enough, a widow flying her husband's casket back to the States, somewhere between Berlin and New York City, at approximately 37,000 feet, her 6-year-old daughter, Julia disappears but when we find her daughter is really missing and every lucky possibility happened to make it “work” we have to throw food at the screen.

Starring: Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd, Romany Malco, Seth Rogen

Directed by Judd Apatow

Produced by Judd Apatow, Clayton Townsend, Shauna Robertson

Written by Judd Apatow, Steve Carell

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: August 19th, 2005.

Synopsis: 40-year-old Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell) has done quite a few things in his life. He's got a cushy job stamping invoices at an electronics superstore, a nice apartment with a proud collection of action figures and comic books, good friends, a nice attitude. But there's just one little thing he hasn't quite gotten around to doing yet--something most people have done by his age. Andy's never, ever, ever had sex. His friends at the store consider it their duty to help, but nothing proves effective enough until he meets Trish (Catherine Keener), a 40-year-old mother of three. Andy's friends are psyched by the possibility that "it" may finally happen...until they hear that Andy and Trish have begun their relationship based on a mutual no-sex policy.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: A-

A 40-Year-Old Virgin! I know, it sounds lame, and yes if other American-made, buddy flicks, with similar themes and demographics are any indication you could be sure this movie was going to be crass and laced with over-the-top sophomoric humor. Well if you assumed any of those things you would only be a tiny bit right about any of them. The 40-Year-Old Virgin is surprisingly thoughtful and well conceived, and though at times necessarily vulgar, it's not excessive when it is (it's a fun film but it does earn it's 'R' rating, leave the younger kids home). In addition the movie is "knee-slapping" hilarious! The cast is surprisingly diverse and what's even better is none of the wide array of ethnicities comes across as a "token", as each occupies a useful place in the film. The character's acting and interactions seem very natural and believable despite the movie being a comedy.

The film's lead, Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell), is a single, modest, predictable, boring, guy who lives in an apartment filled with a collection of superhero action figures (collectables, many never having been opened). He rides a bike to his job as stock clerk for an electronics store and spends his weekends watching TV with his elderly neighbors. By many people's accounts Andy is the proverbial, "loser". It would have been easy for director, Judd Apatow, who co-wrote this film with Carell, the "Daily Show" veteran (who first developed the idea of a closeted virgin in a Second City skit), to simply pile on the insults as he drove home the point on how much of a "loser" Carell's character is, but instead he paints a portrait of a guy that is really likeable but misunderstood and who you will sympathize with. Even the issue of homosexuality is touched on in a way that comes across as amusing versus "gay-bashing". In fact one thing that comes across in this film is that the writers and director like all the characters, and despite their shortcomings it's hard for you not to like them also. 

Andy's group of "friends", associates, and love interest are perfectly cast and all give strong performances that are extremely funny for their own reasons. Trish (Catherine Keener) who plays Andy's love interest and seems to fit perfectly into her role; David (Paul Rudd) is still obsessed with a woman who has long ago given up on any possible interest in him; Jay (Romany Malco) is a ladies' man who cheats on his girlfriend and believes himself to be irresistible, and Cal (Seth Rogen) is the friend with the practical advice, such as "never actually say anything to a woman; just ask questions." Unbeknownst to them, all these guys have problems with women of their own, and seem more than prepared to pass them on to Andy's sexual novice character. When word comes out at an after hours poker game that Andy is a virgin, the friends make it their personal mission to get Andy "laid", and that's where the fun begins but even when the movie turns a bit more in a romance comedy as Andy awkwardly pursues Trish's character it doesn't turn completely sappy or give up it's humor and that is probably the most enjoyable part. Aside from a few awkward, throw-away scenes, that could have been left on the cutting room floor, such as when "Jay's" character (who is black) gets into a verbal dispute with a black customer and start throwing the N-word around over Jay's refusal to give the customer the "hook-up", the are few sours moments in the film. The 40-Year Old Virgin is fun, funny, and surprisingly thoughtful throughout. 

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, André Benjamin, Tyrese Gibson, Garrett Hedlund, Sofía Vergara

Directed by John Singleton

Produced by Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, Richard Kidney, Ric Kidney

Written by David Elliot Paul Lovett David Elliott

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: August 12th, 2005.

Synopsis: Four adopted brothers come together to bury the woman who raised them. At the funeral, the brothers discover that their mother may have been murdered and they want revenge.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C

Message to John Singleton you are finished in my book! That means you have a promising career with the small cabal of Hollywood exec's that send these subtle white power messages. John just keep doing what you're doing - they love you right about now. I have now confirmed that for the right price you will use your brilliance to introduce and justify any thing. I am not saying you are a sellout, but the question was asked after Hustle and Flow is, "whatever happened to that socially responsible Boyz the Hood Director"? The answer is that he is still alive he is just socially responsible to the lower dregs of the viewing audiences.

Here are the good things about this movie. 1) Andre 3000 worked hard to do a good job acting and he maintains a non-stereotypical image as Jeremiah, a successful married, family man involved in real estate. 2) There are several actors who got work that don't work that much. 3) The acting is generally decent. 4) This film is an energy packed cowboy-type serving with adequate action for a Friday or Saturday evening of escapism - on a Sunday the audience might be returning from church and feeling "holy" thus they will easily recognize that gaping "holes" in this highly marketed debut.

 Now that we said that here's the breakdown: John Singelton turned "Marky" Mark Wahlberg into a superhero, he allows him to do and say anything and get away with it. They're selling but not all of us are buying. If you have any doubt that he is supposed to be a superhero, wait until you see the scene where there are 15 thugged' out Black guys ranging from 5'11 225 to 6"3 350 and they all surround the villain character named Victor Sweet played by Chiwetel Ejiofor. None of them will fight him when he challenges them, many of them have guns he does not. All of his thugs are scared of him and they need somebody brave enough to fight him. Then the cameras turns away to an icy walkway 200 meters away where "Marky" Mark suddenly appears from out of nowhere in the middle of Alaskan terrain, the music comes on. Of course all the people in the theatre go crazy jumping up and down and cheering for him like he is Rocky. He is the only man who can free them from the clutches of this big bad drug dealer. In a reverse Tarrantino move, Singelton has made a Blaxpoloitation movie with a little white hero who determines what Black men are "house niggers" and who is given a pass to tell Black jokes about how dark Tyrese is, though of course his calling Tyrese "Midnight" is an affectionate sort of joke between "brothers" and his using the n-word is done in the context of righteousness (gimme a break)

Ironically this attempt at multi-cultural race healing is divisively split. Tyrese and Dre3000 are closer and the same goes for the pairing of Wahlberg Garrett Hedlund who plays Jack. In fact jack character is not developed much at all, instead they used that screen time making the villain super evil to the point that he is no longer believable. I mean he makes a loud mouth black woman from Detroit eat food off the ground because she mumbled "bullshit" under her breath. It's all totally preposterous but acceptable in Hollywood since it's the same thing that Eminiem did in 8 Mile and now they can say well "Marky" can do it since he has been to jail in the film and he has been in trouble in real life for kicking Black butt and Asian butt and yes of course he was telling race jokes while he was doing it. - Nuff Said.

In a larger look it shows how well to do bourgeoisie people especially white will flip out when their material possessions start to fade away, because in actuality the joke is not that the Harpers are poor, it's that they handle their indigence ridiculously. The sight of the family being reduced to bathing via oscillating lawn sprinkler is one of several very funny humiliations, and there is even lower for them to go. Facing foreclosure on their house, Dick and Jane let go of their remaining shreds of civility and turn larcenous. They rob banks, coffee shops, and car dealerships, always in disguise (once, outrageously, as a gender-reversed Sonny and Cher), until the TVs are back and their brown lawn is green again. Its satire but it says people will do anything to keep up with the Jones.

Dick and Jane are dismayed to discover that Dick's former co-workers have become just as desperate in their joblessness -- cockfighting rings and pot harvesting! Plus, Dick is facing indictment. So he aims his rebellion at the riches of his old boss, played by Alec Baldwin with a Colonel Sanders accent. The setting is California in 2000, at the start of a wave of corporate scandals, and the movie plugs into the popular intolerance, cynicism, and ambivalence toward the world's mega companies, but in all honesty it could be 2006 because the economy has not gotten so much better. The scenes where Dick goes out on job interviews, only to find that the jobs (a) do not exist, (b) have already been taken or (c) are in control of chortling sadists who know you need a job, is real.

Starring: Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Michael Rapaport, Ato Essandoh

Directed by Andy Tennant

Produced by Will Smith, James Lassiter, Teddy Zee

Written by Kevin Bisch

Distributed by Columbia Pictures

Release Date: February 11th, 2005

Synopsis: A professional matchmaker's program is threatened by a female journalist who enrolls as a student and plans on publishing an exposé on his fraudulent methods.

Shiesty Says: Overall: B

Romantic comedies come a dime-a-dozen. If you've seen one "Sleepless in Seattle", you've seen every "You've Got Mail". They all pretty much follow the same formula: jaded playboy meets perky, but heartbroken cutie. They butt heads initially, but eventually the attraction overcomes their quirky personality differences and whatever superficial obstacles the plot throws in their direction. Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. The whole thing wraps up in 1:45 with a ride off in the sunset, usually on a horse drawn carriage while some sappy love song drones away in the background. Ladies wipe away the tears, fellas wipe the sleep out of their eyes, and everyone leaves the theater happy. It's like baked chicken: nothing to get excited about, but a time-tested recipe that's reasonably filling and hard to screw up.

Into the genre steps Will Smith, a guy usually associated with summer popcorn flicks, who fares quite well here. This movie certainly sticks to the script. Smith plays Alex Hitchens, a New York (where else?) City relationship consultant whose job is to help game-less white dudes sharpen their mack skills to pull women they've been secretly desiring. When he helps a lowly accountant (King of Queens star Kevin James, doing his best Jack Black impersonation) try to win the affection of a billionaire heiress, Alex somehow crosses paths with gossip columnist Sara Melas (Eva Mendes or "Training Day" fame). Of course they don't hit it off a first, but this is a romantic comedy after all, so even though there are 8 million people in NYC, of course they'll continue to cross paths until she finally falls for his charms, they have a falling out over something trivial, then get back together to a loving Central Park embrace at the end of the movie. Will Smith doesn't give his usual enthusiastic performance, but does the best with the color-by-numbers script and borderline corny dialogue. The best thing you can say about his performance is "Damn, Kenneth Cole's fall line is hot!". Dude was sportin' some serious threads in this movie. Mendes proves more than capable of her supporting role, and James garners a majority of the laughs with his overweight lover shtick. And for those into visuals, there's a million and one money shots of the Big Apple. NY has seldom looked so beautiful on film. Otherwise, there's no need to flesh out the plot contrivances. There isn't much here and what exists is muddled and confusing at times.

But of course none of that matters to the target audience, and judging by that fact that this movie raked in $45M it's opening weekend, the best ever for a romantic comedy, few moviegoers other than me care about such nuances. Hitch works just fine as a Valentine's week date with the significant other, and really, as long as the Mrs. (or Miss) is happy, what else matters?

Starring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, Bill Nighy

Directed by Garth Jennings

Produced by Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Nick Goldsmith

Written by Douglas Adams Karey Kirkpatrick

Distributed by Touchstone Pictures

Release Date: April 29th, 2005

Synopsis: Earthman Arthur Dent is having a very bad day. His house is about to be bulldozed, he discovers that his best friend is an alien and to top things off, Planet Earth is about to be demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Arthur's only chance for survival: hitch a ride on a passing spacecraft. For the novice space traveler, the most astonishing adventure in the universe begins when the world ends. Arthur sets out on a journey in which he finds that nothing is as it seems: he learns that a towel is just the most useful thing in the universe, finds the meaning of life, and discovers that everything he needs to know can be found in one book: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Gumby Dammitt Says: Overall: C+

Douglas Adams’ classic sci-fi satire and/or allegory for the madness that is life and everything in it, aptly titled The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy made it’s Hollywood film debut over the weekend. Finally. I say finally because studios have wanted to put this hilarious book on the big screen since the seventies if not a bit sooner. In any event, Adams’ adventure that began when the world ended finally hit theaters and in blockbuster fashion, albeit with a rather modest cast. In fact, the most popular cast member may be Mos Def, who plays Ford Prefect, an alien researcher stuck on earth gathering information for The Guide. The film plays a bit different than I remember the novel at a few points, mixing in story elements from other books in The Hitchhiker’s series (and elsewhere) to create a movie that can be that start of a series or self contained entity (I’m hoping for The Restaurant at the End of The Universe myself at the very least). For those unfamiliar with Adams’ whimsical sense of humor (not to mention British humor in general) the film may come off as a bit of a head-scratcher, with viewers wondering exactly what it was they just sat through. I would describe it as something of bizarre roller coaster ride, with an equally bizarre cast of characters with an almost cartoonish quality. Which is the exact same feeling I get whenever I read a Hitchhiker’s book. From Zaphod Beeblebrox, the egomaniacal, semi-fugitive President of the Galaxy, to the sluggish and painfully bureaucratic Vogons (who triggered this whole adventure when they destroyed the earth in the first place), to the atypically manic depressive Marvin, the paranoid android. I think the film focused a bit too strongly on the narrative elements at times, instead of letting the story just unfold. Some really great elements of the book have been glossed over for the movie, but the book had so many, that it’s really just a minor quibble. Still, the Hitchhiker’s Guide novel is far superior to this movie. I found the film enjoyable, and the performances were “spot on” (that’s me doing a British accent) for the most part, but I couldn’t help feeling that there was something missing from the adventure.

Starring: Cedric the Entertainer, Mike Epps, Regina Hall, Gabrielle Union, Eric Stoltz

Directed by John Schultz

Produced by Eric C. Rhone, David T. Friendly, Marc Turtletaub

Written by Danny Jacobson, Saladin Patterson, Barry W. Blaustein, David Sheffield Don Rhymer

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: June 10th, 2005

Synopsis: New York City bus driver Ralph Kramden and his feisty wife Alice, struggle to make ends meet. Despite Ralph's many get-rich-quick schemes/motivational speaker tape series, they've managed to save some money and, along with their best friends Ed and Trixie Norton, they seem to have almost enough money for a down payment on a Brooklyn duplex. However, when Ralph decides to try to impress Alice by making up what he's lost and augmenting their savings with another of his crazy schemes, he winds up losing all their money and his marriage to boot -- and it takes all his determination and love for Alice to get things on track again.

Shiesty Says: Overall: D-

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but that doesn't mean the imitation is always flattering. Hollywood's latest trendy creative shortcut to big bucks is taking old TV Shows and remixing them to appeal to new audiences. Occasionally the result is decent ("Starsky and Hutch"), but usually, it's just plain god-awful ("The Flintstones", "The Mod Squad") and leaves you wondering why certain stuff even needs to be remade. Unfortunately, despite all the advance billing, The Honeymooners falls in the later category.

The classic Jackie Gleason and Art Carney sitcom from the 1950's was definitely a period piece. While Gleason's arrogantly clueless portrayal of bus driver Ralph Kramden was acceptable back in the days, such blatant misogyny would hardly float in today's more politically correct climate. Thus, Ralph's promises to send wife Alice "straight to the moon" had to be significantly smoothed out. And this subtle nuance eliminates a very important character flaw that drove the original show: the boneheaded, borderline-chauvinistic husband who was routinely outwitted by his wife whom we all knew ran the household anyway. That little omission renders Ralph 2005 toothless and no different than any other sitcom Dad of today, which pretty much kills any interesting premise for this movie. Well, that and the lack of any even remotely funny dialogue and a scatterbrained plot, and poor casting, and... hey, I'm losing count here.

To appeal to wider audiences, the filmmakers chose to go with an all black cast, which proves to be the proverbial nail in the coffin. This is one of those rare movies where you can realize you've just kissed $10 goodbye as the opening credits roll. Here, Ralph is played by Cedric the Entertainer, who has yet to find a role he couldn't shuck and jive all the entertainment out of. While he closely matches Gleason's girth, the same can't be said for his performance. Ced seems trapped between trying to be the Ralph Kramden we all know and love, and the same cheesy Cedric we cringed at while watching him buck dance in recent movies like "Be Cool", "Johnson Family Vacation", and "Serving Sarah". He slides in and out of character, which makes his portrayal as Ralph seriously confusing, and ultimately, because of a truly lame script and dialogue that seems like it was typed by monkeys banging on a typewriter, seriously unfunny. The same can be said of Mike Epps, whose comedic talent is totally wasted as a by-the-books Ed Norton, Ralph's best friend.

The rest of the cast hardly fares better. Gabrielle Union in particular just seems be her along for the ride to pay off her Macy's credit card bill or something. As Alice, she's seldom asked to do little other than look disappointed at Ralph, then cry as she takes him back. At this stage of her career, she deserves a lot better. Regina Hall ("Scary Movie") does her usual bubblehead performance as Ed's wife Trixie, which isn't saying much considering she has the least amount of screen time. Saving this movie from certain doom however is the always entertaining John Leguizamo, who actually gives the movie a pulse, however briefly, as a hustler who helps Ralph and Ed pull off a caper to make loot. But he isn't worth the price of admission on his own, and given the rest of the problems with this movie, I could think of a million other better ways to spend your hard earned money and 90 minutes of your life.

Taking a truly classic series from the golden age of television and trying to update it for the new millennium is one thing. Taking the central characters and changing their race is another altogether. The Honeymooners ultimately seems like it's biting off far more than it can chew, and the inevitable result leaves us all gagging.

Starring: Terrence Dashon Howard, DJ Qualls, Ludacris, Anthony Anderson, Taryn Manning

Directed by Craig Brewer

Produced by Craig Brewer, John Singleton, Stephanie Allain

Written by Craig Brewer

Distributed by Paramount Classics

Release Date: July 22nd, 2005

Synopsis: Though DJay, a streetwise Memphis pimp, has always had a way with words, that gift has long been misused; this philosopher-hustler lives a dead-end life at the fringes of society. Still, DJay wonders what happened to all the big dreams he had for his life. A chance encounter with an old friend, Key, a sound engineer who has always wanted to make it in the music business, spurs DJay: if he's ever going to make his mark, it has to happen now. He begins to write down his freestyle raps - his flow - and the two team up with Shelby, a church musician with a beat machine, to lay down bass-thumping crunk tracks. DJay's metamorphosis affects his entire house, as the women in his life - Shug and Nola - find ways to contribute to the creative process. With the impending visit to Memphis of hometown platinum-selling rapper Skinny Black, DJay has to make one last hustle if he's ever

Shiesty Says: Overall: A-

A rappin’ pimp? If there’s ever been a premise less inspiring for a mainstream movie release than this, I’ve yet to hear it. On the surface, “Hustle and Flow” sounds like your typical Source magazine cover story: boy grows up in big-city filth, falls into crime-riddled life on the streets, discovers music as an outlet, and the rest is MTV Cribs-styled history. However, bucking convention, director Craig Brewer and producer John Singleton pair to create a substantive slice of urban life that is easily the year’s most enjoyable release.

D-Jay (Terrence Dashon Howard) is a Memphis pimp who has definitely fallen on hard times. His stable has been reduced to just one “primary investor", a snowflake named Nola (Taryn Manning). His others, are either pregnant (Baby Boy’s Taraji P. Henson), or wanting to get out of the game altogether (Paula Jai Parker, playing her usual ’stripper/chickenhead’ role. Surely this title will someday end up on her tombstone). So, like most other men pushing 40 with their best years in the rearview mirror, D-Jay has a midlife crisis and starts wondering what else life holds other than pimpin’ and sellin’ weed on the side. Occupation aside, it’s a quandary to which almost anyone can relate.

Things start to turn for the better when D-Jay runs into Key (Anthony Anderson), an old high school acquaintance who reminds him how he used to rock the mic back in the days. After Key enlists Shelby, a dorky church pianist (DJ Qualls of “Road Trip” Fame) who makes beats, and builds a makeshift studio in D-Jay’s crib, the trio gets to work on a demo tape. Coupled with the impending return home of local rap hero Skinny Black (Ludacris), D-Jay sees his chance to blow right before his eyes. But can he overcome his personal demons and make it happen?

It’s hard to put just how good this film is, or just why it’s so good, into words. Howard, quite simply, delivers one of the most convincing character portrayals seen in some time as D-Jay. He plays the role with complexity, depth, emotion, and grittiness. Pimpin’ sure as hell ain’t easy, and this movie shows a far more realistic portrayal of the profession than current hip-hop culture seems to want to present. Far from glorious; D-Jay is more like the typical pimp I remember from my childhood: pathetic, broke, manipulative, and seemingly living in a state of suspended maturity. Living in squalor and driving a busted Caprice, there’s no punches pulled in this depiction, and Howard makes you believe and even sympathize with D-Jay’s daily ups and downs. He plays the character with a stunning duality: yes, he supports himself entirely by gaming and manipulating women who should know better, but he genuinely seems to care. In the end, you despise what he’s doing so much that you want him to succeed with the music so he no longer has to do it. It’s the essence of a fine performance; to both revile and pull for a character at once. Howard, after years of being a bit player finally cracks the starting lineup and does his thing. While The Academy will undoubtedly hate on him because of the nature of the role, the brotha’ definitely wins a Ghetto Oscar. What more can I say?

But Howard’s is only one of many sterling performances that make this a great movie. I’ve said it before: funny as he can be, Anthony Anderson is far better suited for dramatic roles. If you somehow missed his short run on FX’s “The Shield", he shows even more range here as Key. While he’s chosen a far more respectable course in life, at heart Key isn’t much different than D-Jay: trapped. Yes, he’s a committed family man with a prissy wife (Elise Neal in a small, but memorable role) and an above the water, albeit boring 9 to 5 (audio recording technician), but he too feels like the best days of life have passed him by. In a very poignant moment, he tells D-Jay he’s no longer living; he’s just “paying rent". It’s a simple statement from a simple scene, but one that really conveys the loss of hope and damn-near desperation that is the underlying theme of this movie. As Nola, Manning plays the role of the bottom b*tch with serious questions about her place in life, although she willingly goes along anyway. Henson’s role as Shug, D-Jay’s pregnant-by-who knows-whom? 3rd stringer, is more or less the same role she played in Singleton’s underrated “Baby Boy". That is to say, a brilliant portrayal of the kind of vulnerable but spirited black women we all know, but that most critics bash as stereotypical because they just don’t get it. Watching her come to life as she finds herself while singing hooks for D-Jay is inspiring and again shows the depth of even the bit players in this movie. Qualls is similarly entertaining as the Shelby, a Jehovah’s Witness dress-a-like with a soul of Crunk. Ludacris’ small, but substantial role as Skinny Black, hits the mark as well And the movie gets extra props for mixing in a little Memphis music history past (Isaac Hayes) and present (Three 6 Mafia). Indeed, if anything hurts Howard’s chances, it’s that the supporting cast is equally good and that his role, while amazing, is but one of many breakthroughs.

Finally, this movie is, at its’ root, about hip hop, and there’s one scene that seems to embody the essence of the art probably as well as any movie this side of “Wild Style". Watching D-Jay, Key, and Shelby in the studio for the first time is worth the price of admission alone. Shelby constructs the bass line, adds snares and kicks and bass, D-Jay and Key create the hook, and the track just comes together. Sure, it sounds trivially simple, and yes, the subject matter (the song IS called “Whoop That Trick” after all) is pretty trife, but the emotion and creativity of the scene is pure hip hop. Far more representative of the culture than anything in “8 Mile” (a movie this will undoubtedly and unfairly be compared to), it’s a seminal moment in a great film, you’ll have goose bumps as you watch it. What more can I say? Hustle and Flow is an excellent movie on so many levels, I am running short on adjectives to describe it. Definitely one of the year’s best movies, it is the rare can’t-miss urban film (Saw the film? Tell us what you think).

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B

Aptly titled, Hustle and Flow is probably as much a description of the process of getting this movie put out as it is a description of the movie itself. Though the entertainment industry's appetite for promoting parodies of black behavior, and black orientated media that is reminiscent of the Minstrel shows of the early to mid 20th century seem boundless, writer/director Craig Brewer ran into his fair share of obstacles in getting this movie done. It seemed Hollywood wasn't quite sold on a movie about a black pimp, with at least one white hoe, who decides he wants to becomes a rapper, written by a White USC film school graduate (Brewer). As Brewer described the studio's reluctance, "I can't fault the studios,....It's like we're falling out of the stereotype tree and hitting every branch on the way down." It also couldn't have helped that the film's lead, the unheralded Terrance Howard initially didn't want to do the film, refusing to read the script for several months as the film's premise originally didn't seem to vibe well with Howard and he didn't think he could reconcile the role with his own value system. Fortunately for Howard and Brewer, Howard eventually decided to read the script and at least one person was listening as John Singleton (Boyz'N The Hood, Baby Boy) stepped in with financing and Paramount Pictures later bought the film, which had already received an overwhelmingly positive response at Sundance.

Multi-layered and enthralling, Hustle and Flow is a beautifully-acted, well put together, and entertaining film, that has more than an aroma of authenticity in many ways. Howard who finally seems to be getting some recognition in Hollywood and who undoubtedly will generate a buzz for his role as the film's main character, D-Jay a broke Memphis pimp going through a minor mid-life crisis and "career" change, does a superb job of selling his role. Writer/Director Craig Brewer also does a masterful job of painting a picture of Howard's scoundrel of a character as someone the viewer will empathize with and find themselves cheering on (more on that later). On the supporting end are a host of solid characters in D-Jay's thin "stable" of hookers, which includes the acid-tongued Lexus (Paula Jai Parker), the Wide-eyed and perpetually helpless Sugg (Taraji Henson), and Nola (Taryn Manning) whose wit is apparently far beyond what she lets' on. Anthony Anderson is also solid in his role as Key, a church-going, 9-5 working music technician which if we take into account his recurring role on the TV drama "The Shield", indicates that Anderson is probably, and ironically, better suited to act in a drama than a comedy. Beneath the whole pimpin' and hustlin' theme is the sub-theme that many of the films character's presumably in the early to mid-thirties have reached a bit of a crisis point in their lives, realizing that barring a major change all they will ever be is paycheck-to-paycheck workers of modest means, whose salaries will hopefully be just enough to keep them above the poverty line. Minus the actual words and messages in the songs their is some level of enjoyment garnered from watching D-Jay, Key, and Key's "lightskinned" (pronounced White), part-time Church Pianist friend, Shelby put together D-Jay's krunk, pimp music 1 chord at a time. The music they create, is infectious and gritty, as many a viewer will probably leave the theater singing hooks and themes from the movie's songs such as "It's Hard our here for a Pimp!!" and "Whup Dat Trick", but much like the rest of the film this deserves some examination.

I intentionally go to see movies aimed at "urban" audiences, such as this one, in the "hood" as I like to see and hear the reactions of the target audience, primarily black and brown adolescents and young adults, and if what I heard and felt was any indication most of the wrong messages will likely be taken from this movie, but the way it's designed little else can be expected. Hustle and Flow is told completely and exclusively from the Pimp's perspective, which seems quite presumable since Howard's character is the film's protagonist, but when I say "exclusively" things are such that if you step back and look at it reality has been turned on it's head. This is accomplished by telling D-Jay's story as sympathetically as possible; you also never seem him strike any of the women he has working for him though there does seem to be some level of physical intimidation there. Howard is a conniving, manipulative, controlling, and self-centered individual - true to a pimp's form - who as long as we have known his character, has never done anything of value for anyone else, yet we are left feeling sorry for him and his sorry predicament and hoping he can pull himself out of it basically on the backs of others, as he's lived his entire life. When DJ's little plan to talk his way into some radio exposure by slick-talking Ludacris character, "Skinny Black", a Memphis rapper who apparently has hit it big, doesn't quite work as intended we feel for D-Jay. When D-Jay pus Lexus out of the house in the middle of the night, with her infant son all we think about is how she verbally belittled him (I even heard men cheering in the theater), but forget HE was pimping her! It's a testament to Howard's acting and the strength of Brewer's screenplay, but if "It'a Hard out here for a pimp!", well shouldn't it be? And assuming it is, my guess is it's at least twice as hard for a 'hoe'.

D-Jay essentially moves from one Hustle and get-over (pimping) scheme to another (rapping) trying to use the same dubious talents and slick talk to get him what he wants from people when he needs it. There is hardly a point of regret, atonement, or contrition for Howard's character, it's just all about the next Hustle. D-Jay's songs reflect his reality in the film, while their sentiment and subject matter is misogynistic and utterly backward, but these are the tunes he hopes to get commercial, radio airplay. Though it's only a movie this parallel is near impossible to separate from the current state of rap music in real life, but that discussion is apparently for another time and another movie, less we forget this is now a Paramount Pictures (Viacom) film and we shouldn't expect those who put out the entertainment to tell on themselves. At many levels this just furthers the real world, false impressions that most of raps music reflects the realities of the artist ,when the fact of the matter is that it's mostly fantasy. It's also a little problematic if not unrealistic that Anderson's character who is seemingly grounded in the Christian church, as well as his wife, could be so easily swept up into accepting the D-Jay's pimp raps with little if any reservations. What D-Jay says in his songs is apparently irrelevant to all parties involved as long as they gets paid - as they say in the film, "everybody gotta to have a dream" - even if everybody seems to have the same one ("rap and/or sports") - and even if that dream is somebody else's nightmare! (Saw the film? Tell us what you think).

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener, Max Minghella, Jesper Christensen

Directed by Sydney Pollack

Produced by Kevin Misher, Eric Fellner, Tim Bevan

Written by Scott Frank, Charles Randolph, Steven Zaillian

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: April 22nd, 2005

Synopsis: Kidman stars as African-born U.N. interpreter Silvia Broome, who inadvertently overhears a death threat against an African head of state scheduled to address the United Nation's General Assembly. Realizing she's become a target of the assassins as well, Silvia's desperate to thwart the plot...if only she can survive long enough to get someone to believe her. Sean Penn is Tobin Keller, the federal agent charged with protecting the interpreter, who nonetheless suspects she may not be telling the whole truth. Silvia and Tobin, by nature, see life from different points of view: one, a U.N. interpreter, believes in the power and sanctity of words; the other, a Secret Service agent, believes in reading people based on their behavior, no matter what is said.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

Sydney Pollack, the director of The Interpreter, thought his film about an assassination attempt right inside the General Assembly needed the real thing. So he persuaded Secretary-General Kofi Annan to let him use the place on weekends, including the Security Council, lobby, conference rooms and gardens. According to publicity, "The Interpreter" is the first motion picture ever filmed inside the United Nations, and the General Assembly auditorium, like most things in life, looks a little smaller than it does in the imagination. Previously, cameras had been banned, but the United Nations made an exception, and it picked a good movie to do that for. It's the United Nations building, that turns on the charisma in its film debut -- a smashing one -- in The Interpreter. That's right, every other time you've seen actors inside the U.N. -- even in Alfred Hitchcock's classic North by Northwest -- they've been on a set.

Pollack returns the favor to Kofi Anan by making a potent political thriller that exchanges the usual senseless action and contrived sexuality for thoughtfulness and timely provocation. The plot is driven by a paranoia-inducing conspiracy on a global scale. Pollack builds suspense at an unrushed pace that defies short attention spans. But hang on. The movie will grab you. The whole sequence on the bus is gripping. Sean Penn plays a widowed Secret Service agent, who figures out everything, at least eventually, even if he is always about 2 minutes late. Nicole Kidman stars as Silvia Broome, the UN interpreter who specializes in the Ku dialect spoken in Matobo, the region of Africa where she was raised. (The name, the place and the dialect were made up for the movie). During an evacuation test in the General Assembly, Silvia overhears a plot -- spoken in Ku -- to assassinate the Teacher, the nickname of Edmund Zuwanie (Earl Cameron), the genocidal leader of Matobo. Zuwanie is even now heading for New York to address the U.N.

Penn and Kidman are fantastic, Yeah I know that sounds corny, but it's true. The plot is not complicated but the twist and turns of the film start when agent Tobin Keller (Penn) is brought in to sort out the situation. Right up front, he doesn't trust Silvia, who is very, very sneaky and doesn't deserve trust. We think he kind of loves her and she him, which really makes it intriguing. It's not in the script, not even a kiss but the love is greater than Anakin and Padame and the acting a 1000 times better. Kidman and Penn, show it in their eyes, their inflections, their silences between words and the comments by the people around them. Most people are simply hoping they will kiss as a back drop. But Kidman is still mourning the Africa she grew up in and how it has changed as well as her African lover who couldn't be with her anymore because of racial politics - see what dating Lenny Kravitz and Q-Tip did to her, she is sprung now - but in all seriousness. This film is primarily designed to get the adrenaline pumping and it does. The Interpreter also functions as a morality play, asking questions about the value of revenge ("vengeance is a lazy form of grief," remarks a character at one point) and whether the taking of a life does anything to assuage emotional pain. There's a sense of unpredictability about some of the things that happen in The Interpreter, but at no time do any of these turns seem forced. Elements of the ending are facile, but nearly all of the loose ends are wrapped up, and we don't suffer through the kind of "happily ever after" epilogue that would betray The Interpreter's underlying dark tone.

Starring: Usher Raymond, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Chazz Palminteri, Anthony Fazio, Matt Gerald

Directed by Ron Underwood

Produced by John Dellaverson, Bill Borden

Written by Chanel Capra

Distributed by Lions Gates Films

Release Date: November 23rd, 2005

Synopsis: When an African-American man accidentally saves a mob boss's life, his reward is a job protecting the don's daughter. Complications arise when the two begin to fall in love.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C-

Usher just dissed his fan base and his future box office potential by agreeing to take the star role in this film, which is sure to flop just on word of mouth. Usher should have let Tiger Woods or O.J. audition instead. Usher's fan base is African-American women and sistas' won't like the idea that Usher's character in this film bypasses all of the sistas' fawning over him to marry a white woman. He doesn't just fall in love in love with her but he goes all out. This all happens within a few days. You might get confused as to if he is competing with 50-Cent for who can survive the most gunshots. His character takes a bullet for her on a few occasions to show his chivalrous desire for her and his integrity in upholding her family name. In fact he interacts in a super respectful manner and is fascinated with the Italian mob family and their ill-gotten gains. The admiration is oozing more so than we see him with his own kin and friends. But don't get it twisted, although he is a chauffeur he is also the bodyguard, so he is not playing a stereotypical shuck and jive Uncle Tom role chauffeur role here. However he is playing an equally familiar stereotypical role. Usher is the new millennium black, stud player; he can dress, dance, has the body, looks, language and sex appeal but not much else. We hear the subtlety of the pre-occupation with the "big Black penis" in the dialogue and in 2005 any women can get it and openly show infatuation with it, of course that is on the surface level. Sex and race are the backdrop they toy with not mob relationships. In a rare script move, they even allow Usher to hit the skins right away - usually the black character has to prove his love with the white chic but Usher stays true to his stud role.

The script is written with the intent of showing how far we have come with the concept of "race" in America but its quite naïve and juvenile even for the MTV generation, to which this film caters. Although this was intended to be a romantic comedy, it wasn't funny. Kevin Hart of Soul Plane Infamy is supposed to keep us laughing but he is playing the same old buffoon role that he always does. Throw in the brother of Ushers love interest who tries so hard to identify with Black urban culture and hip hop sensibilities as a humor sidekick but it still doesn't work. The slang term for this characters behavior is wigger. Its like, ok- Italian kids love Hip-hop too, we know this and this character is in overdrive with it. He even loses family respect because of it, but he looks up to Usher because he is cool and more importantly he's black. Ushers love interest only becomes intrigued by him after so many other women are, but more specifically her bourgeoisie girlfriends, who fawn over him. Prior to that she treats him, like Irkel. It's not believable but its what they do in Hollywood for the MTV generation. Thankfully the n-word is not being used but other pejorative black terms that don't carry much racial sting are. Usher is always too much of a gentleman to hurl any back and as long as he is in the status of suppressed, controlled rage the characters in the movie accept him but don't expect audiences to return the favor. - NUFF SAID

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, Jamie Foxx, Lucas Black, Chris Cooper

Directed by Sam Mendes

Produced by Douglas Wick, Lucy Fisher, Sam Mercer

Written by Anthony Swofford (Sourcewriter), William Broyles Jr

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: November 4th, 2005

Synopsis: "Jarhead" (the self-imposed moniker of the Marines) follows Anthony Swoff, a third-generation enlistee, from a sobering stint in boot camp to active duty, sporting a sniper's rifle and a hundred-pound ruck on his back through Middle East deserts with no cover from intolerable heat or from Iraqi soldiers, always potentially just over the next horizon. Swoff and his fellow Marines sustain themselves with sardonic humanity and wicked comedy on blazing desert fields in a country they don't understand against an enemy they can't see for a cause they don't fully fathom.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

You have probably heard people on the street stalking and saying the movie Jarhead is “trash” and how they were disappointed. The only thing disappointing about the film to me was the misconception that this was a action war movie, when it's a reality based war film told from the perspective of one soldier. This is actually a true story and nobody warned us movie goers through commercials that this was a 2003 memoir by Anthony Swofford, who served in the first Gulf War. If you really understand the dialogue and perspectives you might even interpret it as an anti-war film. Ask any 1990 Operation Desert Storm participant what was up with the film and they will likely tell you that it was their reality.

This movie is not the “boom” and “kaboom” of war this film is more about survival — the military use of propaganda, physical and mental hazing. and baking in the 112-degree desert heat of Saudi Arabia. It’s not the hype of most war films. "Four days, four hours, one minute. That was my war," the Marine sniper Tony Swofford tells us. "I never shot my rifle." But what you have to respect is the fact that the movie is also about guys who are Marines, but would probably rather not be. The whole concept of volunteer army exists in “theory only”. They keep it real in Jarhead and that’s not what many are looking for. That’s corny to the American people. At one point, Swofford is being interviewed by a TV reporter who asks him why he serves. He has already given three scripted answers. She persists, and finally he looks in the camera and says: "I'm 20 years old, and I was dumb enough to sign a contract." Heck, I see what is happening in the black community, I don't need to hear a boom to know there is a war going on.

There is a whole lot of subtle homoeroticism, cheating women, and swipes at the military’s lack of preparation when a solider starts to go crazy. We see what happens you train men to be killers and then hold them on leashes for too long. In a nutshell it's real military life. It contains no heroism, little action, and awkward humor. It is about men who are exhausted, bored, lonely, trained to the point of obsession and given no opportunity to use their training. The movie is unique in its cinematography of fire and deserts nights as well as rain showers of oil. These are shots that we have never seen. It is unlike most war movies in that it focuses entirely on the personal experience of one man caught up in the military process.

Staff Sgt. Sykes (Jamie Foxx), is good as the brainwashed leader who knows why he serves: He loves his job and he chose it although he could be doing something else. Others in the group are mainly just average young American males, young confused and caught up, most are ambivalent about the war expect the young republican enlisted men who are all borderline emotional basket cases and screw-ups, but mostly they all are joined in the feeling that the only thing worse than fighting a war is waiting to fight one.

We get to see that with today’s technology the war is not the glory of those on the ground. The ground soldier has been made obsolete by air power. As one film critic noted “Territory that took three months to occupy in World War I and three weeks in Vietnam now takes 10 minutes. Jamie Foxx character warns them to expect 30,000 casualties in the first days of the war, but as we recall, the Iraqis caved in and the war was over. Now we are involved in a war that does require soldiers on the ground, against an enemy that no longer helpfully wears uniforms.” If this movie came out after desert storm less kids would have enlisted before this latest fiasco. - Nuff Said 

Starring: Orlando Bloom, Eva Green, Liam Neeson, Brendan Gleeson, Jeremy Irons

Directed by Ridley Scott

Produced by Ridley Scott

Written by William Monahan

Distributed by 20th Century Fox

Release Date: May 6th, 2005

Synopsis: KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is an epic adventure about a common man who finds himself thrust into a decades-long war. A stranger in a strange land, he serves a doomed king, falls in love with an exotic and forbidden queen, and rises to knighthood. Ultimately, he must protect the people of Jerusalem from overwhelming forces while striving to keep a fragile peace.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

After watching this film I've come to the conclusion that what the director, Ridley Scott, seems to be suggesting, is that most Christians and Muslims might be able to coexist peacefully if it were not for the extremists on both sides. This may explain why the movie has displeased the very sorts of Muslims and Christians who will take moderation as an affront. Most ordinary moviegoers, I suspect, will not care much about the movie's reasonable politics, and will be absorbed in those staples of all historical epics, battle and romance. But if you have not yet watched the movie I warn this review will contain facts which will give the story away. 

As much as Ridley Scott attempts to make this movie as fair as possible to both Christians and Muslims, I'm afraid this causes him to alter the facts of history. For example, halfway through the movie Saladin looks at his assisting General and asks, "how many victories have the Muslims won before I became General" and the other guy replies, "very little." Sounds convincing doesn't it?... lets give him the job! Well unfortunately that's not the case. Fact: Muslims have in past ruled much of the world for more than 700 consecutive years. They ruled vast areas of land ranging from Europe to China. Spain was under Muslim rule for hundreds of years as was West China including almost everything in between. I wonder how they were able to do that if they had won "very little" wars prior to Saladin's rule. Another statement which caused me to scratch my head and raise an eye brow was that "Saladin was the greatest General in Muslim History."... umm OK he was great.. but not the greatest. Previous generals such as the prophet Mohammed, and Khalid bin Walid pretty much top that list. 

At the end of the movie, here's a fact which you skeptics might want to research before shutting me off... the battle of Jerusalem did not last as long as it appeared to in the movie, and the Crusader's did not gracefully give up the city. (pause.. research.... are you back? good... now read on). They were in fact humiliated and defeated in the worst way possible. Saladin's army marched into Jersulem with very little casualties and resistance because the Christian Generals had escaped well before Saladin's army reached Jerusalem's gates leaving an uncoordinated and unfit army to defend the city. However, I do understand why Ridley Scott has chosen to conceal this fact and show the Christians gracefully giving up the city...the rating of this movie would have dramatically dropped if the final scene was a group of Muslims celebrating over a cluster of defeated Christian bodies, including Orlando Bloom. There goes the hero! There goes the anti-patriotism rhetoric by ignorant fellow Americans. 

Final fact: part of Saladin's greatness was for the respect and mercy he had shown to the Christian residents of Jeruslam during Muslim rule. He chose to forgive the Christians for savagely bullying and murdering the Muslim residents of Jerusalem during the Christian rule and give the Christian residents the privileges which the Crusaders took away from the Muslims. Furthermore, Saladin allowed the Jews to return and live peacefully in Jerusalem after the Christian Crusaders had previously expelled them from Jerusalem during Christian rule. I don't remember that being mentioned in the movie. The last thing to be said for Ridley Scott's "Kingdom of Heaven" is that Scott did a good job with directing a historical epic. but Kingdom of Heaven is deep, thoughtful, more about human motivation and less about action. Scott is taking a chance to release a movie in post 9/11 world about the wars between Christians and Muslims for control of Jerusalem. Few people will be capable of looking at Kingdom of Heaven objectively. I think both Muslims and Christians will find shortcomings in the movies and when you've made both sides angry, you may have done something right.

Starring: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Andy Serkis, Thomas Kretschmann

Directed by Peter Jackson

Produced by Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Jan Blenkin

Written by Peter Jackson (Screenplay), Fran Walsh (screenplay), Philippa Boyens (screenplay), Merian C. Cooper (story), Edgar Wallace (story)

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: December 14th, 2005

Synopsis: Flamboyant, foolhardy documentary filmmaker, Carl Denham, sails off to remote Skull Island to film his latest epic with leading lady, Ann Darrow. Native warriors kidnap Ann to use as a sacrifice as they summon "Kong" with the local witch doctor. But instead of devouring Ann, Kong saves her. Kong is eventually taken back to New York where he searches high and low for Ann, eventually winding up at the top of the Empire State Building, facing off against a fleet of World War I fighter planes.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

Leave it to Peter Jackson to add an extra hour on to a story that is always only 90 minutes, but he did use that extra hour plus to make a better and more compelling film. Leaving his audiences conflicted over whom to root for Kong or the White men. He changes Kong up to be like a real gorilla and it worked, he moves around on all fours and he "anthropomorphically acts" like one, facial expressions and all. The CGI ape has power that comes through the screen due to enhanced visuals and sound. Kong uses his feet to grasp and provide extra dimensions never before seen in the gorilla story. It's the attention to these details whereby Jackson shows how a primate like Kong has the advantage in a fight because of his opposable thumb and bigger brain that makes Kong a story worth retelling in 2005. He also uses the extra time to make it like a bestiality type romance, as sick as that sounds.

Unlike the original or the 1976 remake which "were about an ape who wanted a blonde he couldn't have" in 2005 the blonde wants Kong also. Previous works all had the Blonde terrified by the oversized and presumably undersexed monkey. The sex aspect is hard to feel (no pun intended) but the emotions between the two are significant. She prefers Kong who beats his chess after he kicks ass, to her human love interest who is the silent and smart type of man. Some might interpret that to mean that Peter Jackson's King Kong is a film that implicitly suggests that traditional old school manliness (strength, brute force and ass kicking) is the essential fabric of romance and that women value protection above all and in some cases that can be argued even in 2005.

King Kong is like OJ on steroids cause the boy is crazy over blondes. In all seriousness one can't help but to appreciate the way that Peter Jackson toned down this 60-year-old story of natives (read dark skinned people) worshipping monkey god who worships the epitome of White beauty - the blonde with blue eyes. The idea that it's a racially charged tale is hardly a secret and one that Peter Jackson was well aware but he preferred not to deal with, after all the racial conflict to Peter Jackson is an American problem. In New Zealand where he is from, spends his time, and shoots his films race can just be ignored all together. Even if you are not old enough to recall the racial politics surrounding the original King Kong you can easily see racial symbolism in this tail because we cant get away from that.

In this film Kong is chilling in his home land of Skull Island, minding his s own business when White men come and drug him, capture him bring him to America in a boat and then chain him up to make money off of him. Does that sound familiar? It gets even more familiar cause the ape winds up dead because he rebels against the captivity and exploitation (plus he still after the White chic. Anyway the racial politics played out throughout this story. I won't rehash but there is a goggle load worth of information on it if interested.

The fight scenes of Kong vs. the dinosaurs are vicious and brutal and the violence is a little bit more than I expected but the mayhem on the island are part of what made the film compelling, especially when we later are able to contrast that with Kong being in the urban landscape. Kong in New York City during the depression era climbing the empire state building provides for some strong imagery and classic scenes, even if the movie itself isn't quite a classic. - Nuff Said

Starring: Anthony Anderson, Leila Arcieri, Jay Mohr, Donald Faison, Regina Hall

Directed by Jeff Byrd

Produced by Darryl Taja, Jeffrey W. Byrd

Written by Wayne Conley

Distributed by New Line Cinemas

Release Date: April 22nd, 2005

Synopsis: Anthony Anderson stars as Malcolm King, a wealthy and arrogant businessman whose ex-wife to be has plans to take him for everything he's worth in their divorce settlement. Determined to avoid losing his fortune to her, Malcolm plans his own kidnapping with the help of his dim-witted mistress and her ex-con brother. Unfortunately for Malcolm, he is not the only one with a kidnapping plot.

Shiesty Says: Overall: F

Rated PG-13 for incessant crude sexual humor and language, wealthy marketing magnate Malcolm King (Anthony Anderson) is a jerk of the highest degree. He talks down to his employees, cheats on his soon-to-be ex-wife, and promotes based on bust size instead of merit. When Malcolm decides to sell his company for a cool $25 mill, his wife (Kellita Smith of the Bernie Mac Show) gets word of the potential windfall and counters with divorce papers demanding half of his fortune. Inspired by a recent news story, Malcolm devises a half-baked plan to have his mistress Peaches (Regina Hall) hire her just-released ex-con brother Herb (Chappelle's Show's Charlie Murphy, who looks like his brother Eddie on steroids) to kidnap him and demand a majority of his fortune as ransom, thus cutting his wife out of the picture. But, this being slapstick "urban" comedy, hilarity (supposedly) ensues when it turns out that three other parties want Malcolm kidnapped for their own reasons. It's hard to describe just how bad this movie is. Apparently New Line Cinema had an inkling, thus the light promotion and failure to offer a screener to reviewers, which is usually a telltale sign of a movie that should have headed straight to DVD. Or not been released at all. 

The supreme awfulness of the movie is astounding. While the premise seemed vaguely interesting, King's Ransom falls flat on it's face with cheesy, unfunny dialogue which wastes performances from reputable comedic talents who deserve far better. Anderson especially seems to be going through the motions here, and while he showed promise in earlier films ("Two Can Play That Game" and the DMX trilogy "Romeo's Exit Wounds from Cradle to Grave"), he fails to follow through on that potential in his first, and probably last, starring role. The rest of the cast of C-List black actors don't fare much better. Smith is lots of fun to look at as Malcolm's wife Renee, but her presence is better suited for the small screen. Hall is downright embarrassing as Peaches, dragging the oversexed airhead black female stereotype to all new lows. Worse is Murphy, who of course plays a homo-thug jailbird. He too needs to stick to TV, his True Hollywood Stories on Chappelle are hilarious, here he just makes a fool of himself. Similarly demeaning are the roles of bit players Donald Faison, ESPN's Jay Mohr, and Soul Food's Nicole Parker. And worst of all, this movie features Loretta Devine, who has still yet to discover that you don't have to yell every line like you're in a stage play. How the heck does this woman keep getting work? There's nothing at all to recommend about this movie. It's sad that Anderson's potential as a lead is now probably squandered for good after choosing terrible roles in movies like "My Baby's Daddy", "Kangaroo Jack", and "Cody Banks 2". His current role on FX's "The Shield" clearly shows he's got some dramatic talent, so maybe he should stick there. Either way, this movie doesn't work. Ignore the note and let King's Ransom walk.

Starring: Stephen Chow, Chan Kwok Kwok Kwan, Yuen Wah, Yuen Qiu, Huang Sheng Yi

Directed by Stephen Chow

Produced by Stephen Chow, Chui Po Chu, Jeff Lau

Written by Elizabeth Hunter Tseng Kan Cheong Stephen Chow Tsang Kan Cheong Lola Huo Chan Mankeung

Distributed by Sony Pictures Classics

Release Date: April 8th, 2005 (NY/LA)

Synopsis: In Shanghai in the '30s, times are dangerous and gangs rule the streets. The most notorious of these, the Axes, strike fear into the hearts of honest citizens and inspire admiration in one young wannabe. One day, in a slum on the outskirts of town, he wreaks havoc when he recklessly poses as an Axe member and causes a veritable riot between the real gang members and the denizens of a housing project who just so happen to be strangely well versed in the art of kung fu.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B+

The recent popularity of Chinese-language action movies ("Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," "Hero" and "House of Flying Daggers") has been a strangely highbrow experience. Big-name Asian filmmakers such as Ang Lee and Zhang Yimou, have found the American markets are pretty keen on the martial arts action, swordplay, and gravity defying wire work that may seem rather passé in Asian markets, but in those films beneath all the action have been undertones that are almost reverent, full of stories of nobility and sacrifice. When it comes to tone however, Stephen Chow, the writer, director, and star of Kung Fu Hustle is almost the complete opposite of this cinematic tradition. 

Chow's last film to hit American markets was the 2004' comedy Shaolin Soccer, which played like a mixture of a sports movie, The Matrix, and science fiction animé. Though not quite as funny as Chow's previous offering, Kung Fu Hustle maintains Chow's signature of physical comedy and Looney Tunes cartoon zaniness mixed with visually frenzied fight scenes peppered with CGI and special effects. Hustle's show-stopping fight sequences are choreographed by the legendary Yuen Wo Ping (whose credits include "Crouching Tiger," "Kill Bill", and the "Matrix" trilogy) and play out like cartoons as they defiantly ignore the limits of the human body and physics. 

Hustle is set in a 1940s-era Shanghai village and revolves around the struggle between that village's peasants residents and an organized crime outfit from the city known as "The Axe Gang". Thematically it's a humorous medley of gangster movies, musicals, and martial arts films, but beneath all the action and off-beat humor is an underdog tale of mid-20th century social inequality, communal solidarity, alongside a love story. If nothing more Kung Fu Hustle will likely be one of most unique and weirdly entertaining films you will see this year, if not ever.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, James Cromwell

Directed by Peter Segal

Produced by Jack Giarruputo

Written by Sheldon Turner

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: May 27th, 2005

Synopsis: On a remote island, the FBI has a training program for their psychological profiling division, called "Mindhunters", used to track down serial killers. The training goes horribly wrong, however, when a group of seven young agents discover that one of them is a serial killer, and is setting about slaying the others. Can the few that are left figure out who the killer is in time?

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C+

This remake of the 1974 orginal is now a comedy and although I can't recall the details of the original, I do recall it was nothing like this. I slightly remember the original was a sanctioned prison revolt, a film about the triumph of the underdog, and could serve as a statement on the necessity of prison reform. Not this time around. Make no mistake this film was not intended to be remembered, you ‘ll forget everything by the time you tell somebody you saw it unless you go home and write about it like I am doing now. This one could have been called “The Waterboy meets the Replacements”. 

However, in all fairness this film is a hilarious who’s who of the NFL, wrestling, and general entertainment worlds. It’s a pop culture super bowl, with lots of past and current stars; we have Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, Tracy Morgan, Nelly, Michael Irvin, Bill Romanowski, Courtney Cox-Arquette, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Dan Patrick, and Chris Berman to name a few. But it's not a fight for screen time as most people are only there for the brief cameos so you have to make the most of your time and in terms of role playing this was a good team effort. Former NFL stars like Michael Irvin and Bill Romanowski get just enough screen time in their acting debuts, and I guess they did good because they were basically playing themselves. Irvin was a popular loud mouth fast talking opinionated egomaniac and Romanowski was a sneaky, low-key racist, that you need to keep your eye on at all times. The film is filled with stereotypes of prison, gays, blacks, rednecks and Texans (was that redundant?) - well I at least hope the Texas stuff was stereotyping. It's really a crazy type of outlandish humor that is magnified if you are a sports fans, particularly the spotting of celebrity sports people, but if you are not into sports it may not be as witty or fun to you. However Burt Reynolds seasoned abilities often tone the humor down enough for us to focus on some of the storyline. 

Despite the multitude of times, that I laughed and gasped at something there were a few things that bothered me coming from Chris Rock and Nelly. First Chris Rock uses the N-word to the extreme, I can't even recall how many times he said it, and he didn’t need to use it when he did. The other annoyance is subtle like the joke about Nelly having quick “slave feet”, the line is vivid but hearing the laughter contradicts the idea that we want slavery taken seriously, Jews don’t go to the theatre and laugh at holocaust humor and we could learn a lesson from them in that regard. But the sequence that bugged the hell out of me even as a slapstick comedy was when the rapper Nelly who played a barefoot country running back with moves like Barry Sanders was used as a celebrity prop, to tell the audience the word Nigger has no more power even when whites say it. During the exchange some white racist steroid-chugging Nazis Prison guards are looking for an opportunity to serve Nelly a beat down because they heard how fast he is and don’t want to compete against him. When they start calling him a “Nigger” he gets mad but doesn’t react. The subtle reference we can infer from his character happens in a scene 20 seconds earlier when he lets the audience know he has read about the life of Malcolm X (suggesting how disciplined he was) and tells the guard they might learn something from reading it. After hurling the N-word around a few more times one of the guards asks him “doesn’t that word bother you coming from us?” He shrugs his shoulder smiles and says nope. I have a hard time dealing with the idea that the best way to deal with racism is to ignore it or embrace it. In reality when it hits you I am sure you will feel the same way - Nuff said.

Starring: Val Kilmer, LL Cool J , Christian Slater, Eion Bailey, Kathryn Morris

Directed by Renny Harlin

Produced by Bobby Newmyer, Cary Brokaw, Akiva Goldsman

Written by Wayne Kramer Kevin Brodbin

Distributed by Dimension Films

Release Date: May 13th, 2005

Synopsis: The story of pro quarterback Paul Crewe (Sandler) and former college champion and coach Nate Scarboro (Reynolds), who are doing time in the same prison. Asked to put together a team of inmates to take on the guards, Crewe enlists the help of Scarboro to coach the inmates to victory in a football game "fixed" to turn out quite another way.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B

It’s no secret that Hollywood is hurting this year, compared to last year. At the time of this review, movie business overall was still down for the 14th straight week from last year, it was up 12 percent over last weekend, which is a good sign for summer business. What’s even better for these predictors is that young audiences are getting out of school and heading to the theaters for movies they actually want to see and since rap music is body slamming everything in terms of its popularity, rappers are poised to take advantage of their elevated roles in hip hop. It’s so obvious looking at upcoming movie previews and watching this movie with yet another rapper having a lead or leading role. LL Cool J is personally getting so much movie work these days he does not even get listed in the credits as LL Cool J but is working under his given name, James Todd Smith. 

Be prepared I am giving away the plot and suspense in this review of a Hollywood thriller. LL Cool J again survives until the end in this drama suspense whodunit flick. I don’t know how LL does it but he has flipped the script in his Hollywood appearances, while other African Americans are the first to get killed in 90% of horror, Sci-Fi movies, he always makes it out alive and grinning. This is really interesting because a staple of this film had the whole crew turning on LL Cool J first; its like an MTV Reality show everybody against the “divisive black man who doesn’t smile enough”. In all fairness they have plenty good reason to be suspicious of LL‘s character who is not really part of their FBI in Training Team. BTW LL is the only actor to really stand out in any unique way. No one else leaves an impression. Val Kilmer and Christian Slater don't have much screen time, and what they do when they're on camera is no big deal in all due respect to them.

The premise of the film is simple, each victim dies because of the a weakness revealed in his character. The ingenuity of their deaths is impressive. Murder traps are rigged all over the island. The situations that depend on perfect timing, skillful mechanics, a deep knowledge of the characters, and a single-minded focus on providing the movie audience with scare and shock works. In the end they turn on each other and overact as we all wait for the next human body to drop. It's very "Alfred Hitchcock" in its story telling. It says “One of Those Among Us Is a Killer, and We Cannot Leave This Isolated military island Camp until we find out who it is -- or until we all die. It is a most ancient and dependable formula, invariably surprising us with the identity of the killer, because the evidence is carefully rigged to point first to one suspect and then another, until they all clear their names by getting murdered, I mean what a way to be right. This movie should not have been collecting dust on the shelf for over two years, but it did so at this point I'm just glad it got made - Nuff Said.

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Adam Brody, Vince Vaughn, Angela Bassett

Directed by Doug Liman

Produced by Arnon Milchan, Lucas Foster, Akiva Goldsman

Written by Simon Kinberg

Distributed by Twentieth Century Fox

Release Date: June 10th, 2005

Synopsis: A married couple (Pitt and Jolie) are getting bored with their quiet domestic life. What they don't know, however, is that they're both assassins, secretly hopping the world and killing for hire. But their separate lives are about to collide when each finds out their next target is their own spouse.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

Mr. & Mrs. Smith is a domestic thriller with a lot of domestic violence. Too much domestic violence in my opinion. Warning - if you have ever been in a violent relationship do not go see this action film sprinkled with comedy. Some scenes really sting with violence. Pitt kicking Jolie in the stomach a few times is one example. The key to the movie is their back and forth banter, not the explosions, car chases and gunplay that clutter things up. We get why they come alive from their marital doldrums when they discover what each really does for a living. Their repressed anger gushes forth in often-hilarious ways and the humor is probably a little extra to try to smooth over the violence.

Pitt and Jolie play married assassins ordered to kill each other. As John and Jane Smith, a couple whose marriage has gone stale from years of deception. He’s an assassin. So is she. And, impossibly, neither one knows about the other’s day job. Its totally phony and unrealistic but the on screen chemistry is there and the plot is really nothing but the two stars playing opposite each other and being possible real life lovers, something that all the media is interested in while real news is buried on the back page or not on the news at all. Its obvious from the script that the directors felt the plot is immaterial. What matters is the “chemistry,” a term that once referred to a science but now refers to the heat we sense, or think we sense, between two movie stars. It all starts when Pitt and Jolie are assigned to take out the same target, he botches her job (or is it she who botches his?), and each vows to annihilate whomever it was who cost them the kill. The movie wrings droplets of fun from the fact that hunter and hunted share the same driveway, and inevitably, many shots are fired and many more things blow up.

Too much action and blow-up scenes, there is a misplaced sequence in which a family minivan is driven as a Porsche rivaling the highway scene in ‘’The Matrix". Throughout it all Jolie is more dominate that Pitt. It seems that she is now always a sort of a super-heroine. With Jolie, it doesn’t even seem like acting anymore. She’s one overblown action-adventure away from becoming Steven Segal.  

This film is too much about the two stars and they underused everybody else. In fact big Hollywood names are invisible. Angela Bassett is the voice of John’s boss, but she herself never actually appears. Neither does Keith David, who provides the voice of Jane’s boss. Kerry Washington and Adam Brody are the only people who get any screen love besides Pitt and Jolie; it's star overkill but decent. 

Starring: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Geoffrey Rush, Mathieu Kassovitz, Ciarán Hinds

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Barry Mendel, Colin Wilson

Written by Tony Kushner

Distributed by DreamWorks SKG, Universal Pictures

Release Date: December 23rd, 2005 (Limited)

Synopsis: Set in the aftermath of the massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics, story follows a secret Israeli squad assigned to track down and kill the 11 Palestinians suspected to have planned the Munich attack--and the personal toll this mission of revenge takes on the team and the man who led it.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B

After delivering two disappointing recent films (Terminal/War of the Worlds), Spielberg has rebounded with a successful film. This film attempts to paint a even handed picture of the Israeli and Palestinian conflict using the 1972 Munich Olympic games as a center point. Spielberg’s treatment of both sides was an attempt at balance but the fact that he is Jewish is not hidden in the story telling. The logic is even and the rhetoric is almost balanced but the emotional weight placed on the audience is in favor if Israel and that may be inevitable considering the perspective that the film is told from. It’s obvious despite the back and forth on the screen that the filmmaker has deep love for Israel. Although some of the dialogue that may have been looked at as supporting of Israel will fall either neutral or negative on the ears of those with no stake in the conflict. For example one scene has the Israeli mother of the main character (Eric Bana) tell her son why the state had to be founded: “We had to take it because no one would ever give it to us. Whatever it took, whatever it takes, we have a place on earth at last.”

And although moments like these make it obvious Spielberg believes in Israel he is clearly questioning Israel’s policy of intelligence gathering and retribution for Israeli attacks. Neither side is commended or exalted for their behavior and nobody comes out looking saintly nor is anybody vilified enough to make you hate them. The film attempts to generally question the nature of the decisions and acts made by both sides. If this film does make any stance on Israel and Palestine, it makes a general condemnation of the violence on both sides

The most interesting aspect of the film deal with the French characters who seem to be Zionist sympathizers but play both sides of the fence and sell intelligence to both sides. The characters Louis and Papa add mystery, suspense and provide a peek inside the world of international espionage where loyalty comes at a price of about 200k. They say that real life is better than fiction and there is no doubt that much of what we witnesses on the screen is factual but which parts are historical will likely always remain a mystery.

The fact that this conflict is so real and fresh probably prevents the dialogue from going to the point of seeking truth and leaves it at the stage of asking questions. The episode that has the PLO spy (Ali) and Massad Spy (Avner) challenging each other, representing Israel and Palestine respectively, while both pretend to be something else in that stairwell is good writing. As one critic puts it “the conversation ends where it always does: Palestinians want a homeland, Israelis have to protect theirs, and Spielberg stays mum. That Ali and Avner eventually end up on opposite sides of a gun makes “Munich” a competent thriller, but as an intellectual pursuit, it is little more than a pretty prism through which superficial Jewish guilt and generalized Palestinian nationalism look like the product of serious soul-searching.”

This film’s look back into the historical yet fictional episode allows Spielberg to ignore the U.S. role in the whole drama. Its clear that despite right or wrong neither side is ever going to get peace using the current methods of an explosive “last tag” philosophy. - Nuff Said.

Starring: Martin Lawrence, Wendy Raquel Robinson, Breckin Meyer, Horatio Sanz, Megan Mullally

Directed by Steve Carr

Produced by Martin Lawrence, Tracey Trench, Heidi Santelli

Written by: John Lucas, Scott Moore

Distributed by 20th Century Fox

Release Date: July 1st, 2005

Synopsis: Following a public meltdown, a high-strung college basketball coach must redeem himself by leading a junior high school team consisting of athletically challenged youngsters.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: D

Martin Lawrence’s latest film is awful. It's foolish, even for a comedy and poorly written and slackly made, even compared to most other sports movies. Every movie season, in one form or another, Hollywood seems to give us at least one remake of “The Bad News Bears,” the story of a dysfunctional coach who’s coerced into riding herd on a team of pathetic kids and ends up loving it. It’s become a ritual of American Popular culture.

Martin Lawrence plays Roy McCormick, a Bobby Knight-style egomaniac hothead college coach, booted from the NCAA (here renamed the NCBA) for gross misbehavior (he kills another team’s animal mascot) and gets booted from the NCBA. In an attempt to redeem himself, on the advice of sleazy manager Tim Fink (Breckin Meyer), the coach takes a job with the only team that seems to express interest: the Mount Vernon Smelters, a junior high school squad. The Mount Vernon Junior High Smelters (their name is the funniest thing about this film) is a collection of clumsy, short, chunky kids in need of getting some game. After bad losses, national ridicule and interactions with a hot and sassy mom, Lawrence is able to take his team from air balls to Air Jordan. But getting there requires the clichéd puke, pratfall and short-bus jokes. This has corny written all over it–and I am here to warn you since I have kids, I was forced to sit through it cause its a holiday weekend.

Also the notion of a junior high team that not only can’t win a game but can’t score a point — and whose amazing turnaround is accomplished by more drills and the aid of a young female ‘hood “enforcer” and a six-footer who can’t shoot or rebound - is ridiculous? Or the idea that the NCAA would schedule Coach Roy’s reinstatement hearing at the same time as the state championship game is worse than the Steven Spielberg, War of The Worlds ending.

Anyway Lawrence’s usually R-rated shtick seems constrained by the PG format. This is one movie that might actually be improved with more bad taste. I certainly felt like swearing as I watched it but my kids were there. I should admit that I heard some young girls laugh in this movie but that’s no excuse to say this movie is worth your money. Save it for some Firecrackers or something.

Starring: Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, Brian Cox, Jack Scalia, Jayma Mays

Directed by Wes Craven

Produced by Bonnie Curtis, Jim Lemley, J.C. Spink

Written by: Carl Ellsworth

Distributed by Dreamworks SKG

Release Date: August 19th, 2005

Synopsis: Lisa Reisert hates to fly, but the terror that awaits her on the night flight to Miami has nothing to do with a fear of flying. Moments after takeoff, Lisa's seatmate, Jackson menacingly reveals the real reason he's on board: He is an operative in a plot to kill a rich and powerful businessman, and Lisa is the key to its success. If she refuses to cooperate, an assassin awaiting a call from Jackson will kill her father. Trapped within the confines of a jet at 30,000 feet, Lisa has nowhere to run and no way to summon help without endangering her father, her fellow passengers and her own life. As the miles tick by, Lisa knows she is running out of time. She desperately looks for a way to thwart her ruthless captor and stop a terrible murder.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

It's been about out 2 weeks since this film came out but I've been watching Hurricane Katrina news so I'm late. I don't want to ruin it, but there's a plot to kill a high-ranking U.S. official, and Murphy (Jackson) is forcing McAdams (Lisa) to play a key role in it. Horror director Wes Craven skips his usual bloodshed to deliver mind games in a taut, tense thriller. Red Eye is a one-trick action thriller. It's basic, but it works until the last 20 minutes of the movie, where the "cat and mouse stuff" seems phony and "so yesterday". Red Eye won't blow anyone's mind, but it's an engaging hybrid hostage drama and more conventional killer-loose-in-the-house thrills. The latter take over once Lisa finds her way back to her childhood home where Dad is being set up for murder if she doesn't cooperate. Only problem is that the high ranking U.S. official is really a bad guy but they never mention that or say it but if you're me, you know it.

McAdams plays Lisa Reisert, a sweet Miami hotel desk clerk stuck in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, awaiting a break in some miserable weather so she can fly back to Florida after her grandmother's funeral. In the airport she meets a dude who likes her for more than just sex, it seems. He's an unsettling stranger played by Cillian Murphy ("28 Days Later", Scarecrow in ''Batman Begins.""). He comes with the "uh-oh!" character name of Jackson Rippner. Lisa and Jackson have a drink at the airport bar. On board the plan they learn they're seat-mates. And then? Whereas the Red Eye trailer suggests "My Demon Seat-Mate," the screenplay by feature film newbie Carl Ellsworth reveals Jackson to be in on an assassination plot against a federal Homeland Security bigwig (Jack Scalia), who is visiting the Miami resort where Lisa works.

Ominously, in principle at least, his character is called Jackson Rippner, and after some casual flirting with Lisa on the way to the plane and in the cabin, where they happen to be row mates, we find out why. The deputy secretary of homeland security is staying at Lisa's hotel, and unless she switches Rippner to the room of his choosing, he'll have her father (Brian Cox) killed. (The suite is the preferred target of a rocket launcher the size of a Civil War cannon, perfect for firing through the holes. Once the plane lands the movie becomes a series of foot chases that ends exactly as we've been trained to expect. But not from Craven, who over four decades has built a sterling reputation on cheek, irony, and the grotesque, one that he's had a tough time living up to.

Starring: Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Simon Baker, Elizabeth Perkins, Sissy Spacek

Directed by Hideo Nakata

Produced by Laurie MacDonald, Walter F. Parkes, Mark Sourian

Written by: Ehren Kruger

Distributed by DreamWorks Pictures

Release Date: March 18th, 2005.

Synopsis: The story picks up six months after the horrifying events that terrorized Rachel Keller and her son Aidan in Seattle. To escape her haunting memories, Rachel takes Aidan and moves to the small coastal community of Astoria, Oregon, to start fresh. However, Rachel's resolve quickly turns to dread when evidence at a local crime scene-including an unmarked videotape-seems eerily familiar. Rachel realizes that the vengeful Samara is back and more determined than ever to continue her relentless cycle of terror and death.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

''The Ring", was a remake of a wildly popular Japanese film. Naomi Watts was trying to stop people from watching a fatal videotape. It seemed like propaganda against VCRs - I thought Betamax was trying to make a comeback.

Scary movie stuff, I only tune into every once in a while, but much of the scary stuff does not move me without a real plot, this movie fits into that without a "real plot" category. The video gimmick, which supported "The Ring" (2002), is retired and the action centers on Samara's assaults on Aidan's body and Rachel's attempts to defend him. At one point this involves almost drowning him in a bathtub, which is the second time in a month (after "Constantine") that being almost drowned in a bathtub is employed as a weapon against supernatural forces. I won't say much more. But there is a lot of water, which seems downright amniotic given the movie's interest in womb-like set pieces and birth canal symbols and general disdain for motherhood, which, admittedly, for a horror movie is just another day at the office.

Naomi Watts and David Dorfman are usually convincing, sometimes very effective, in their roles; in the scene where she's going down into the basement, we keep repeating, "it's only a basement," but the most memorable scene involves deer. Yes so many deer I think that Santa Claus got a kick back check. The scene has a group of deer that ram into Rachel and Aidan's Volkswagen but you really have to see how this scene overwhelms the eyes. I was also surprised that the old school techniques still worked on me. Like the one scene the girl is in the basement and moving with back to us, the camera to back into the basement while focused on the heroine, so that we cannot see what she sees, and therefore, through curious movie logic, neither can she.

The scenes involving Aidan's health are also well handled, since the back and forth reflect the current state of Samara's success in taking over his body. If he becomes entirely a ghost, does he go down to room temperature? Elizabeth Perkins plays a psychiatrist who thinks Aidan may have been abused, and there is a creepy cameo by Sissy Spacek, wearing scary old lady makeup, as Samara's birth mother. Aidan always calls his mother "Rachel," by the way, and when he starts calling her "Mommy," this is not a good sign.

The movie's torpid pacing and blocks of dead space will leave plenty of time for a bored and frustrated audience to yell obscenities at the screen. An uneventful trip to snoop around a dank basement could double as an opportunity to tell Watts, who commits her worst acting to date, how dumb her character is -- as a journalist, as a mother, and as a potential victim -- which even for this genre is saying a lot. When I say the film defies explanation, that doesn't mean it discourages it. Web sites exist for no other reason than to do the work of the screenwriters by figuring out what it all means. For example, when Rachel rolls the heavy stone across the top of the well, does that mean Samara is out of business? Rachel seems to think so, but wasn't the stone always on top of the well?

Starring: Tommy the Clown , Lil Tommy , Larry , Lil C , Tight Eyez

Directed by David LaChapelle

Produced by David LaChapelle, Marc Hawker, Ellen Jacobson-Clarke

Written by: David LaChapelle

Distributed by Lions Gate Films

Release Date: June 24th, 2005 (LA/NY).

Synopsis: A documentary look at "krumping," a dance-form emanating from the streets of South Central Los Angeles, with movements including quick syncopated body gyrations fast enough to warrant a disclaimer that the film was not sped up. It centers around "Tommy the Clown," and focuses on the form of an expression as a positive alternative to the stereotypical hip-hop images and criminal pursuits.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: A-

"We're not going to be the clones of the commercial hip-hop world". - Tight Eyez, "Krumper"

What is "Krump"? What is "Krumping"? Well it's probably a lot easier to have someone who knows how to do it show you, than it would be for me to explain or demonstrate myself. As one performer communicates in the Dave LaChapelle documentary, Rize, 'when you see the real thing, you'll know it'. But for the sake of those not fortunate enough to have witnessed it, I'll do my best to describe it. In it's rawness and still pristine nature, it may remind one of "breakdancing" that figured prominently in Hip-hop's early history, but in terms of the body movements involved the two seem to have little in common. "Krumping" is the fairly new, high energy, extremely kinetic, gyrating, completely unorthodox, dance craze that has quietly swept through the streets of the South Central and Watts, sections of Los Angeles. It's seemingly just the latest expressive and creative offspring to come forth from the minds and spirits of chocolate children and young adults in the United States. Despite their desolate and underprivileged surroundings and the general lack of formally organized dance classes or opportunities in public school, these young adults and children have created something beautiful like the "rose that grew from concrete". Yet prior to Vanity Fair photographer and music-video auteur David LaChapelle bringing it to the big screen, it was a phenomenon that existed completely below the radar of the media.

One can't truly begin to talk about "Krumping" however, without giving a little history about it. "Clown dancing", the progenitor of the "krumping" phenomena, was started by Tommy "the Clown" Johnson, who as a young man was into drugs and gangs. After returning from a short stint in jail that Johnson claims turned his life around, he started his hip-hop dancing clown service as entertainment for kids. The service and school became so popular that is spawned numerous pupils and countless imitators. Eventually the students broke away from the master, and formed their own groups and dance troupes that attempted to take "clown dancing" to an even more frenetic, crowd-pleasing level they called "krumping." Exposing it's clown dance routes, many Krumpers still wear face paint if not outright costumes. Krumping and clown dancing have become so popular in Los Angeles that the fifth annual "krumping" competition, known as Battle Zone, was held in the Great Western Forum and by the time of the end of the documentary's filming there were said to be more than 100 different clown/krump groups, involving children of various ethnic backgrounds from Asians and Pacific Islanders to Caucasian.  

Rize is truly an audio-visual experience and LaChapelle does good to keep the dance and expression as the star of the film, but possibly even more interesting are the stories and struggles of the people who the documentary weaves it's story around. LaChapelle passes on his own social commentary and lets the words and stories of the people involved in the documentary speak for themselves and to some degree it's a story of 'Rising' above one's circumstances. It's a testament to the existence of boundless possibilities that such an innovation as "clown dancing" or "krumping" could become so popular while seemingly sidestepping street gangs and, to some degree, Hip-hop. Who would have thought that adolescents and teenagers, particularly young males whose world's are often dominated by faux-machismo, could build an identity that so heavily included dancing and face costume that didn't make them "soft" or not cool in the eyes of their peers. LaChapelle even splices and inter-cuts scenes from traditional African dance and ceremonies, between certain "krumping" sequences that illustrate certain uncanny parallels in the forms of expression; it's almost as if these children have channeled an ancestral memory of some kind. Overall Rize, is a must see if for no other reason than you almost certainly have seen nothing like it before. "Krumping" or "clown dancing" is bound to show up on Viacom's BET, MTV, or VH1 soon and the dancers probably won't be wearing face paint or dressed like clowns, so you better get a good look at it before the corporations figure out how to turn a profit off of it.   

Starring: Anthony Anderson, Leila Arcieri, Jay Mohr, Donald Faison, Regina HallBow Wow, Chi McBride, Mike Epps, Wesley Jonathan, Meagan Good

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee

Produced by Robert Teitel, George Tillman Jr, Jeremiah Samuels

Written by Norman Vance Jr.

Distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures

Release Date: September 23rd, 2005

Synopsis: In the late `70s when roller skating was a way of life, X (Bow Wow) and his pals ruled supreme. But when the doors of their local skating rink close, it marks the end of an era and the beginning of another that sees the boys venture into foreign territory - uptown's Sweetwater Roller Rink, complete with its over-the-top skaters and beautiful girls. Through his preparation for the showdown of the season - the Roller Jam skate off with the Sweetwater crew - X manages to find himself and also help his dad (Chi McBride) get back on track.

Shiesty Says: Overall: C+

True Confession: I can't roller stake. I never quite caught a hang of it as a preteen, and by the time I did learn, I was waaay too old for it to be cool anymore. So, I wasn't particularly enthused about the premise of Roll Bounce a lighthearted family dramedy that's supposed to be Bow Wow's vehicle as the next post-tween movie star. But thankfully, the movie is refreshingly deeper than it appears on the outside.

Taking place in late-70's Chicago, Roll Bounce follows a summer in the life of Quentin Smith (Bow Wow) a typical teen who enjoys hanging with his South Side crew at the roller rink during the day, and keeping his father (“Boston Public’s Chi McBride) off his case at night. His mom died of a mysterious ailment awhile earlier, leaving Q, his Dad and sister to fend for themselves. Each family member deals with the loss in their own way, Q by skating, his sister by daydreaming, and his father by withdrawing from the family entirely, spending his evenings fixing his wife's garage-bound car.

When his neighborhood roller rink closes, the crew heads over to the Westside where they find steeper competition in the form of roller star Sweetness (unintentionally hilarious Wesley Jonathan of Saturday morning "City Guys" fame) and his crew. Q runs into ex-girlfriend (played by Meagan Goode, who has to be 25 by now, but still pulls off the 14 year old role with ease) whom he's just too distracted to find attractive. From there, the plot pretty much dissolves; you can already surmise that there will be a skate off at the end of the movie between the Garden Boys and Sweetness' crew. You already know who'll win, you know Father and Son will find mutual vindication, blah blah blah.

Bow Wow fares well in his first real starring role as an "adult", but ultimately, he lacks the charisma and screen presence that could have elevated this movie to “Drumline” level, a film it obviously tries to model itself after. The dialogue is predictable and the teen performers drab. The movie just lacks something, anything, to elevate it above ABC After school Special status. The somewhat unexpected standoff between father and son mid-movie has some punch, but comes off as a cheap tear-jerking attempt. Any anyone who grew up with an old-school father knows it's unrealistic as hell: my Pops, and most of the fathers on my block growing up, would be catching a case if their sons talked to them like Q did to his Father.

While it's good to see a truly family oriented Black movie (although there is a lot of cursing), this movie is just average. Positive and good ain’t the same thing. It's worth a rental, but I can't say much more.

Starring: Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Donnie Wahlberg, Erik Knudsen, Franky G

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman

Produced by Mark Burg, Gregg Hoffman, Oren Koules

Written by: Carl Ellsworth

Distributed by Lions Gate

Release Date: October 28th, 2005

Synopsis: While investigating the bloody aftermath of a grizzly murder, Detective Eric Matthews has the feeling that it is the work of Jigsaw, the notorious killer who disappeared leaving a trail of bodies - and parts - behind. And Matthews is right. Jigsaw is at work again. But instead of two people locked in a room with only one unthinkable way out, there are eight. Eight strangers -- unaware of their connection to each other -- forced to play out a game that challenges their wits and puts their lives in jeopardy.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: D

It did not take people flocking to the streets over a billboard over a Queens, New York rapper for the the MPAA to reject the original poster for Saw II which was an image of two severed fingers. The producers were permitted to keep their grimy digits, but with the stumped ends concealed beyond the frame. Put aside the temptation to read an allegory of a studio's determination to leave its meddling fingerprints on a project on at any cost. What's worth noting is how much greater deliberation was given to the marketing than the screenplay of this wasteful dud, which was rushed to theaters exactly a year after its amusing predecessor.

Saw II arrives on wings of laughter and boredom, some horrible acting and the positive reputation of "Saw" the first, which I did not see. It's makers have devised fresh means of maiming and killing off their characters, if you can call them characters, which I wouldn't, because "character" infers specific, interesting, characteristics. The acting is overall bad and I hate to blast a fellow Puerto Rican on the come up but (Frankie G) who plays Xavier a drug dealer is overkill and totally unrealistic stereotype. I was waiting for the director to say "stop" or "cut" but I had no such luck. Director and co-screenwriter Darren Lynn Bousman piles it on while keeping the budget low and the probable profits high. The pile includes more spazzy visual assault tactics than "Domino" and "Natural Born Killers" put together; a booby-trapped house full of twisty hallways, replacing the original's dank and drippy claustrophobic box, and more screen time for the fussily moralistic serial killer.

The first "Saw" introduced audiences to the concept of "the serial killer." Hold it. Sorry. The first "Saw" was the 59,000th film to deal with the concept of the serial killer. Its plot involved two men imprisoned in a cruddy men's room forced to play endless guessing games and perform occasional acts of self-mutilation thanks to their tormentor, a dying bad man '"Jigsaw" for the puzzle-piece carvings he traditionally leaves in his victims' skin (Prime-time television delivers this kind of bunk every night of the week, albeit with fewer gallons of blood).

"Saw II," more of the same, with an even more dour and depressing spirit. It's not a film, it's an excuse to show victims bleeding at the mouth, or getting shot in the eye, or plucking out their own eyeballs. Most gruesome of all, the sequel oozes dialogue that is best described as "functional," as in: "We found a door. Come on." Or: "Help me move this thing."

The sequel pits Jigsaw against a crooked police detective (Donnie Wahlberg), desperate to extract information from him before his victims expire one gory way or another. I was actually unwillingly to hope or vote in any way for the crooked cop to rescue the people in the house which leads me to not care about the characters and the bad acting. The detective's son is one of the killer's eight new nonentity-victims stuck inside the charnel house. The multiethnic yet interchangeably dull roster, most of whom are the age of the target "Saw II" audience, includes the sole survivor of the first installment, drug addict Amanda. She is played by Shawnee Smith, a pretty decent actress. She looks like Neve Campbell, if Neve Campbell were desperate enough to do "Saw II."

No point in labeling this a horror film. This is a sadism film, and while all good and great horror films know what sadism tastes like, a sadism film settles for nothing of lasting, imaginative horror. If you waste your time and money on this than you deserve all the punishment you get.

Starring: Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, Peter Sarsgaard, John Hurt, Joy Bryant

Directed by Iain Softley

Produced by Daniel Bobker, Iain Softley, Michael Shamberg

Written by: Ehren Kruger

Distributed by Universal Pictures

Release Date: August 12h, 2005

Synopsis: Set largely in the dark backwoods just outside of New Orleans, The Skeleton Key stars Hudson as Caroline, a live-in nurse hired to care for an elderly woman's (Rowlands) ailing husband (Hurt) in their home...a foreboding and decrepit mansion in the Louisiana delta. Intrigued by the enigmatic couple and their rambling house, Caroline beings to explore the old mansion. Armed with a skeleton key that unlocks every door, she discovers a hidden attic room that holds a deadly and terrifying secret.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B-

Finally I go to see a film without the kids and I see something that is supposed to be scary though I laughed openly throughout many parts. This film actually broaches the subject of how psychosomatic dealings affect people. Exactly what else it deals with is not clear at all because even when we get to the end we have to think back and try to figure out a few things we saw on the big screen. Usually such things makes a film worth paying for, as long as we can reasonably figure it out. The Skeleton Key is one of those movies that explains too much while it is explaining too little, and leaves us with a surprise at the end that makes more sense the less we think about it - so don't think about it too much. But the movie's mastery of technique makes up for a lot of other confusion.

A lot of critics won't like this movie because the story is rooted in socially accurate bad white behavior of Southerners in Louisiana. The dominant cultural group likes to forget that it's a real part of the social fabric of America that has a role in how we live today. The tale starts when Violet, hears the story of Papa Justify (Ronald McCall) and his wife, Mama Cecile (Jeryl Prescott Sales), who were servants at the plantation 90 years ago, and how their "Hoodoo" practices got mixed up with the rich family that owned the house. At a big mansion soiree, the butler, Papa Justify, and the maid, Mama Cecile, are caught 'teaching or exposing their masters' cute blond babies, who appear to be having a ball sitting amid black magic.

The appalled white party guests promptly lynch and then burn the help, and the scene is presented to us in a scratchy, black-and-white flashback that makes it even scarier complete with Justify and Cecile's beckoning to the camera, their eyes rolling back in their skulls, and their bodies shaking in defiance.

This film does offer a cliché in the sense that it shows the often-held belief that there are things White people do, that others simply won't. This is accentuated buy the fact that there were about 5 Black females who initially were drafted to be take the position that Kate Hudson takes but once crazy stuff happen in the house they go get new jobs while Katie turns into a private eye, fact snooper investigating every open window and eerie thing in the house. When Holly wood depicts the religious views of those from the Caribbean they usually butcher it up bad (especially when it is Santeria) in an inherently racist depiction. In this film this does not happen. The idea of "Hoodoo" is clearly separated from Voodoo. Hoodoo is a black Magic and Voodoo (Santeria) is a legitimate religion that is practiced throughout the world despite what some people may think due to lack of knowledge. I can't say much more unless you want to know what happens in the end but I will say the question of whether or not the bad guys or the good guys win in the end is "left Hanging" - pun intended.

Starring: Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Clive Owen, Elijah Wood

Directed by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

Produced by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, Elizabeth Avellan

Written by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

Distributed by Dimension Films

Release Date: April 1st, 2005.

Synopsis: Sin City is a violent city where the police department is as corrupt as the streets are deadly. In this movie, we follow three stories, the central of which is Marv, a tough-as-nails and nearly impossible to kill street fighter who goes on a rampage of vengeance when a beautiful woman, Goldie (King), he sleeps with for only one night is killed while lying in bed with him.

Gumby Dammitt Says: Overall: A

Walk down the right back alley in SIN CITY and you can find anything. That’s the crux of Frank Miller’s Sin City, the hard-boiled, pulp-noir graphic novels that have been adapted for the big screen. Sin City is actually the street name of Basin City, a tough as nails town rife with corruption and sin and people who live hard lives as best they can. Some live unthinkable lives and some are barely alive until someone phucks with them. Miller’s Tales are brought to the big screen by a triumvirate of directors who were made for this kind of material; particularly Robert Rodriguez of “Desperado” fame, Quentin Tarantino of “Pulp Fiction” fame, and Frank Miller himself, whom Rodriguez fought for to get co-director credit. And man did it pay off. This film is the truest, most dynamic and exacting replication of a comic book and/or graphic novel to ever hit the big screen. Done to mimic the graphic novels in every way, down to the stark contrast black and white with splashes of color, which usually serve to emphasize either a single character or sticking point for a specific scene, the film is super-faithful to the source material. The film Sin City is actually a montage of three seminal Sin City stories. There’s Marv’s story, "The Hard Goodbye", which just may serve to resurrect Mickey Rourke’s career. Rourke plays Marv, who’s just spent a night with a woman he swears must have been an angel. The trouble begins when he wakes up, she’s dead and sirens are wailing in the distance. The rest U have to see to enjoy (or check out the graphic novels which U can find at your local comics shop). And trust me, you WILL enjoy. The next story the film works in is The Big Fat Kill, where a fragile truce between the police and a band of tough as nails prostitutes is about to be shattered all over the streets of Old Town in Sin City, unless a reformed killer with a new face can find a way to stop it. And lemme tell ya, as Gail, the matriarch of the hookers of Old Town, Rosario Dawson looks damn good in a lil bit of leather too. And then there’s the story that brings them all together for the purposes of this movie, That Yellow Bastard, which places Bruce Willis in the role of Hartigan, a hard-boiled Sin City cop with a heart problem on the edge of retirement; just one last thing to do, save a little girl from a pedophile with a powerful daddy. SIN CITY boasts a massive cast featuring a veritable who’s who of Hollywood favorites including Benicio Del Toro, Josh Hartnett, Michael Clarke Duncan and Elijah Wood in addition to the aforementioned. The film also makes use of the groundbreaking technology that shoots actors against green screens, placing the background and scenery in later, using computers. A technology also used in the film Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, though I expect SIN CITY to do much better at the box office. SIN CITY is a big film, a huge blast and simply the best fun you could have at the movies. Pure enjoyment at it’s most self-indulgent, The Green one HIGHLY recommends this flick. Besides, U wouldn’t want Marv to come lookin for ya, wouldja?

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson

Directed by George Lucas

Produced by Rick McCallum

Written by George Lucas

Distributed by Twentieth Century Fox

Release Date: May 19th, 2005

Synopsis: The third and final installment in the Star Wars prequel trilogy - the sixth Star Wars movie overall. Anakin Skywalker's turn to the Dark Side of the Force, the continuing Clone Wars and the final fate of the Old Republic should be revealed.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A-

I would have liked to have seen Mace Windu survive since he was the only black Jedi left, (no Billy Dee Williams was not a Jedi) and since George Lucas' Star Wars films usually minimize people of color. But before Mace Windu died he went out in style and style is what catapults this film for 150 minutes. Not too many special effects and not to little special effects; it's just right in terms of plot, dialogue, action, and symbolism, - and boy is the symbolism there.

Any adult watching this movie, who can’t see the comparisons between George Bush and the Evil Emperor Palpatine, must be living in a vacuum. While its true the evil emperor may look like the new Pope Benedict XVI, he has George Bush Jr. written all over his rhetoric. If there was any doubt the line “If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy,” should seal any doubt. Although this line came from Anakin, the villain who eventually becomes Darth Vader, don’t be tricked into thinking this is some politically themed movie dealing with Republican and Democratic attitudes.

This movie keeps itself in line with the high energy, sappy love tails, suspenseful and mediocre acting that has always been a trademark of the epic. Of the 6 films this one ranks up higher than, most of them. It's much darker than any of the past films, and earned its more mature PG-13 rating. There are no sex scenes but plenty of sinister violence committed by Darth Vader. The greatest achievements of this film are that it still has people wanting more after nearly 30 years and 6 films. Even more incredible is that we all know what is going to happen but we still want to see it. Usually a film in a series is either a prelude or sequel, this is right in the middle. The audience already knows Darth will go to the dark side and eventually come back to the good side but we are still interested. Although the massive marketing did not hurt it at all, this film will do 100 million it’s opening weekend without blinking an eye.

The young fans who did not grow up watching Star Wars won't miss the silliness of Jar Jar Binks because Yoda bridges the age gap from 12 to 42. Yoda is as popular and charismatic as Darth Vader. Yoda has struck a blow for “positivity and optimism” in an arena where bad guys rule, the force (good) is what everybody wants to roll with, the dark side is not the answer. Even the asthmatic breathing baritone voiced bad guy that you love to hate a.k.a. Darth Vader has been tainted now that we see he is a child killer. Darth Vader once a crowd favorite although evil, has been humbled as we watch how he actually acquired his status as the spokesman for the dark side.

This movie has saved the Star Wars series from its 2 earlier failures, it's not the best star wars story but considering we know what came before it and after it and we still enjoyed it, in my opinion that puts its status right a near the top there in that special category. - Nuff said

Starring: Omillio Sparks, Sundy Carter, Victor N.O.R.E. Santiago, Michael Bentt, Freeway

Directed by Damon Dash

Produced by Damon Dash

Written by Adam Moreno, Damon Dash, Adam '"Blue"' Moreno

Distributed by Lions Gate Films

Release Date: April 13th, 2005 Limited.

Synopsis: Three notorious gangsters battle for supremacy in the City of Brotherly Love. Beans, the imprisoned kingpin and hometown drug-lord, struggles to keep his renegade ABM Crime Syndicate on the map. He is driven and consumed by a festering hatred for his longtime rival. Dame, the Harlem-born hustler, is also the top dog in town. His Umbrella network is unmatched in cash flow and manpower. With a long list of enemies seeking territory and revenge, the self-proclaimed "cake-aholic" is forced into a vicious war. Loco, the flashy Miami playboy, is about to be released from prison. His deep pockets and stellar reputation prove to be valuable tools in Loco's plot to takeover the streets of Philly, but he must first overcome the ghosts from a turbulent past. Alliances are formed and shattered, and lifelong friendships are put to the test as the various crews deal and duel to the death. Somewhere, buried deep within the ranks of one of these gangs, a ruthless criminal mastermind is conspiring to take them all down. The backstabbing, thievery and deception simmers, boils and ultimately spills into a gruesome finale -- an old-fashioned shootout on the cold, unforgiving Philly streets.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: F+

As I picked up the bootleg DVD of this 2 week old film, State Property 2, I wondered out loud to the street vendor "is this going to be as bad as the first one?", to which he replied, "this movie is hot and it’s a good price." Well he was right about, one thing; I could not beat the 3 DVD’S for 10 bucks price he was offering. I said, "yo sun, these joints better be clear or I am bringing'em back". My emphasis was on the movies being clear but not good, since I didn’t really expect good, but I was open to the possibility.

If you ever read my first review of the State Property film, you would know that I have little tolerance for Damon Dash’s view of Urban America (Although Malik Abdul Abott directed the first one, he was only doing what Dash requested of him). Coincidentally, Damon Dash has very little tolerance for other movie directors perspective of Urban America. So it would seem that we have something in common outside of birthplaces but vision and direction are not it.

Dash told the Hollywood reporter that the reason he started making movies is because he finds urban films "degrading and offensive". Dash claims When I watch an urban movie, I'm not satisfied with it. "I feel like the urban experience has to be shown so people can understand the repercussions and understand my culture a little better, instead of just exploiting it. I think just because we're urban doesn't mean that the urban experience should just be for urban people. On the other hand, I think that an urban individual can affiliate themselves with quality and recognizing art. I think I have an eye for recognizing art, and that's what I wanted to do in the movie business - and make money, too." Nothing could be further from the truth; In fact his comments almost seem like satire. Those who watched State Property 2 could not really argue that this film was trying to represent a diverse urban audience. Just because a film has numerous Latino, African-American, and female faces (who only serve the purpose of escorting him around and can never speak to him in public) does not make it diverse.

Dash directed films don’t make money in the movie theatre, they become profitable via DVD sales after their short stint in theatres, mainly because the audience he appeals to is so much smaller than he realizes. This is a straight to video caliber movie also but Dash is a business man and has used his influence and connections to get this movie in theatres. To even call it State Property 2 (SP2) is a stretch, since it is not truly a sequel but actually a prequel of the events from State Property. This is necessary to bring back the murderous main character played by Beanie Sigel. SP2 is like a video game; in short it’s an orgy of shooting, guns and ego’s with a bogus plot. The stories don’t match or coincide with one another but he figures his audience doesn’t care, after all this is really about Dame’s warped world view of urban America. His ideas, thoughts and images often contradict what he wants to actually present on screen or articulate, but somewhere in his heart, he wants us to know his thoughts are actually with the viewing audience. Evidence of this can be seen throughout the film and in his real life. Dame and Jay-Z recently somehow became enamored with the Socialist revolutionary Che Guevara and at the premiere party for State Property 2, Dame told the NY Daily News "I'm a socialist, but not an extreme socialist." He mentioned that because he pondered the idea of running for President (Yes of the U.S.). It's obvious that he has no real comprehension of what a Socialist is, not just because his films are all psuedo-celebrations of insatiable Capitalistic veneering but because his whole life philosophy is that.

Dash calls himself a "cakeaholic" which means somebody who is trying to acquire all the money and material possessions that he can in as fast as time as possible and will do almost anything to get it. That is what State Property 1 & 2 show and celebrate, and that is why he puts himself in his films that exalt weaponry, drugs, cash, and guns. It's also why so many of his rap cohorts play themselves instead of actual characters like Camron. They are in love with the idea of getting "cake" illegally, at the communities expense and showing us all. Dash's love of money has now transformed into imagery again. He has a reality show coming out, the theme is selecting the best "cakeaholic" he can find. The goal is to eliminate contestants who can't match his greed level.

Dash's films have flipped the idea of urban people being jailed on their head. Once upon a time urban films were told through the eyes of political prisoners or politicized social events that painted an understanding or sympathetic picture of why a character acts in a certain way or has ended up in their situation. Dash characters are greedy, selfish, murderous black henchman that he tries to get audiences to respond to and sympathize with. Their destruction is never justified only stylized, they are far from the political prisoners he subtly suggest they are. They are not revolutionary in the least in fact for the State Property films, they have no endearing qualities. Dash is mad with other urban directors for what they don’t depict, audiences should be mad with him for what State Property 1 & 2 do depict. It's quite simple. Dash can't have his cake and eat it too. - Nuff said

Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Amanda Peet, Chris Cooper, Tim Blake Nelson, Jeffrey Wright

Directed by Stephen Gaghan

Produced by Ben Cosgrove, Michael Nozik, Jennifer Fox

Written by Stephen Gaghan (Screenplay Adaptation),  Robert Baer (Source Material) 

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Release Date: November 23rd, 2005 (limited); December 9th, 2005 (wide)

Synopsis: From writer/director Stephen Gaghan, winner of the Best Screenplay Academy Award for 'Traffic,' comes 'Syriana,' a political thriller that unfolds against the intrigue of the global oil industry. From the players brokering back-room deals in Washington to the men toiling in the oil fields of the Persian Gulf, the film's multiple storylines weave together to illuminate the human consequences of the fierce pursuit of wealth and power. As a career CIA operative (George Clooney) begins to uncover the disturbing truth about the work he has devoted his life to, an up-and-coming oil broker (Matt Damon) faces an unimaginable family tragedy and finds redemption in his partnership with an idealistic Gulf prince (Alexander Siddig). A corporate lawyer (Jeffrey Wright) faces a moral dilemma as he finesses the questionable merger of two powerful U.S. oil companies, while across the globe, a disenfranchised Pakistani teenager (Mazhar Munir) falls prey to the recruiting efforts of a charismatic cleric. Each plays their small part in the vast and complex system that powers the industry, unaware of the explosive impact their lives will have upon the world.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B-

When director Steven Soderbergh took on Stephen Gaghan's script for the movie Traffic, he utilized a few simple tricks to keep it all making sense, everything from grouping stories by color scheme to casting vivid character actors for minor roles so that they wouldn't get lost in the shuffle. Like Traffic, Syriana is an ambitious film with a messy multi-layered plot, though instead of drug trafficking, the subject this time is the nexus between oil companies, the U.S. government, Islamic extremism, and Middle East dictatorships. However with no Soderbergh to pull it all together, screenplay writer Stephen Gaghan just doesn't seem to have the directorial skills to make this film as interesting or digestible as the subject matter demands. 

As unthinking and crass as Hollywood has so often been with seemingly any subject matter, watching the advertisements leading up to Syriana's debut I must admit I was more than a little intrigued, as there seemed to be a lot of potential for serious contemplation, and maybe even education, along with this cinematic dose of entertainment. In many ways Syriana does deliver, as it is a very intelligent movie and it makes you want to know more about it. Unfortunately despite my most earnest efforts, even as someone who is probably of at least average "intelligence" and who consistently follows world politics and other issues that are primary subjects of this film, I had trouble stringing this film together. At a little over 2 hours the film doesn't even seem to start coming together until more than an hour in, as Gaghan takes his time (too much of it) attempting to lay out the characters. By the time the film is over you realize that several of the characters that Gaghan tries to work into the script are now fully worked in or just plain unnecessary, so they serve more as distractions than support. 

For instance, there is the storyline of ambitious attorney Bennett Holiday (Jeffrey Wright) who is performing "due diligence" on the large scale oil deal which is the central event in this film. For some reason they've written a small, barely speaking roll into the film for a man staying at his house who is apparently his father. You keep waiting for that roll to be relevant to the film but it's usefullness never materializes. Another story line follow the ups and downs of veteran CIA agent Bob Barnes (Clooney) on assignment in the Middle East who despite being one of the most relevant characters in the film, we know almost nothing about which makes the circumstances of his apparent "crisis of conscience" and eventual demise even harder to understand. Additionally we have the story of Matt Damon's character, an energy analyst, who through personal tragedy finds himself a primary adviser to a very powerful Prince of an oil rich nation in the Persian Gulf, yet the attempts to weave in his troubles with his wife will be met with a "who cares" by many viewers.

Though very slow to come together once things start to congeal, the film turns into an interesting political thriller about an unnamed Gulf State where the ailing king's two sons are jockeying to succeed the king; one is a lazy playboy beloved by U.S. interests and the other is an educated reformer who wants to modernize his country and stop kowtowing to the west. Syriana has a rich tapestry of thought-provoking material to offer audiences, from the eerie right-Wing ideologues at the barely fictional "Committee to Liberate Iran", to watching the transformation of teenagers to religious extremist, to witnessing the slimy interplay between government officials and oil executives, titles that in real life are too often interchangeable. At the end of the day though, despite all it's promise Syriana is too much barely coherent subterfuge, with too many subplots, and too much dense and hard to follow dialogue to get the job done or be fully appreciated by even those versed in the film's subject matter, much less a layman. Those hoping this film would better their understanding of the real life situations it mimics may leave the theater more confused then when they arrived.

Starring: Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman, Dakota Fanning, Miranda Otto, Justin Chatwin

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Produced by Colin Wilson, Kathleen Kennedy, Paula Wagner

Written by: Josh Friedman, David Koepp,  Source Writer: H.G. Wells

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: June 29th, 2005

Synopsis: A contemporary retelling of H.G. Wells's seminal classic, the sci-fi adventure thriller reveals the extraordinary battle for the future of humankind through the eyes of one American family fighting to survive it.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C

Well it's summer time and you know what that means; tis' the season of mega budget, sci-fi blockbuster films filled with big name actors/actresses and big action. Unfortunately big budgets and big names don't always translate into great, or even very good films. In fact it seems sometimes that's al films have going for them. For those somehow unfamiliar, War of the Worlds is a 2005 big-screen retelling of H.G. Wells classic alien invasion tale. The special effects are great as is to be expected, and Tome Cruise is good in his role as a seriously flawed, divorced father of two - that much the film has going for it. But at the end of the day I found this film more annoying than entertaining. While other recent alien invasion based action films like Independence Day and Signs were at times, either fun or truly suspenseful, I found War of the Worlds was neither. The most suspense I felt was trying to figure out how the writers expected to paint themselves out of the corner they had painted themselves into in nearly 2 hours of movie. For those of you who have not seen the film, nor read the book, but still intend to, I will spare you the spoiler but from a scientific standpoint the ending is fairly unrealistic I think, and I will say this much; if aliens had planted their humanity destroying high-tech weapons undergrounds thousands or millions of years ago you would think that they would be a little smarter and better informed about earth, and maybe just maybe, in all of hour digging, mining, and exploring of the planet we might have stumbled onto one of their massive machines but I digress. Truth be told I hardly recall the book that this movie is adapted from but I do vaguely remember the book ending being similar to the movie's resolution so if that is the case then maybe the end isn't as bad as people have made it out to be.

Overall the film isn't so much poorly written from a layout standpoint but I just found the dialogue and situations unrealistic. The family struggle melodrama was annoying and unbelievable especially considering the timing. It's just hard for me to accept that people would be psychoanalyzing each other, their relationships, and the reasons for a the split up of their family when the world as they know is coming to an end, because the alien invaders in the film were thoroughly kicking humanity's collective ass. Then we have other convenient fictions like Tom Cruise's family having seemingly the only working car in the Northeast United States, but fortuitously when everybody else's cars died due to the alien strikes, they gave out in a nice little pattern on the highways, roads, etc so Cruise's character and family could drive by doing about 50mph. The whole premise that Cruise's character would even be trying to travel to Boston to meet his ex-wife and her family while the aliens are destroying earth I found bizarre and "Day After Tomorrow-esque". More than a billion people died in the invasion and the invaders laid waster to countless major cities throughout the globe, what makes him think they are still alive? Maybe this isn't fair but somehow I feel I should probably be blaming Steven Spielberg for this disappointment because I got the same feeling after watching his seemingly 60 hour dud, Artificial Intelligence a few years ago. It's too bad they put  so much money and resources put into these major motion picture releases, when all I want is some realism.

Starring: Ice Cube , Samuel L. Jackson, Scott Speedman, Peter Strauss, Sunny Mabrey

Directed by Lee Tamahori

Produced by Gillian Libbert, Arne Schmidt, Neal H Moritz

Written by: Simon Kinberg

Distributed by Columbia Pictures

Release Date: April 29th, 2005

Synopsis: NSA Agent August Gibbons, fresh off the success of his last renegade recruitment, once again finds himself in need of an outsider. Gibbons and his new agent Darius Stone, now code-named "XXX," must track down a military splinter group that is conspiring to overthrow the U.S. Government.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B-

Top dog Augustus Givens (a returning Samuel L. Jackson) needs a new "extreme agent" to get to the bottom of a possible conspiracy, and since the news comes in that Vin Diesel's Xander Cage character, has been killed in Bora Bora (so much for his future XXX contract negotiations - a Diesel look-a-like plays a cameo role as a dead businessman early on), Jackson goes with his ex-Navy Seal comrade Darius Stone (Ice Cube). Stone has been in jail for almost ten years but seems to know and have figured out everything. Somehow he hasn't missed a beat on anything despite the long captivity and solitary confinement he comes out sharp and chiseled. The former dough boy is no longer so doughy, the actor has bulked up but not to the point of freakishness but he is very toned and somewhat believable.

Once I heard that this movie had a theme about a military splinter group that is conspiring to overthrow the U.S. Government. I said I ok this is a conspiracy action film and I have to see it. I then had to figure out if I should download this or pay to see it at the movies. I downloaded it but it turned out that it was worth seeing.

It's hard to see the knock-kneed Ice Cube as an action hero just because he is Ice Cube but i'ts good to see some non-white action heroes. Now the heroes don't even need a white guy around, all they need is the same James Bond Director and it still works. They even push the envelope in a few racial categories. In the sex department Black hero turns down pretty white woman even before he realizes she is one of the bad guys. In one scene the blonde senatorial aide named Charlie (Sunny Mabrey) wants Ice Cube to sleep with her... but he disses her, looks into the camera and says..."that's one thing I WON'T do for my country" - even in my downloaded copy I can tell those were Black woman applauding. This has nothing to do with Cube's character's professed black pride and everything to do with the movie's box-office prospects in the deep south and some places overseas.

Envelope push #2 is when Ice Cube, recruits a gang of black street warriors from an up-market chop shop, and gives them supercharged dragsters and heavy-duty weapons and none of them get killed. This all takes place in my ole stomping grounds of southeast D.C., and since the chop shop is manned by another rapper Xzibit, that makes two rappers and -- of course they have to throw in - a crew of scantily clad female automotive experts. In other words "the fate of the free world's in the hands of a bunch of hustlers and thieves," says someone as Stone's impromptu homeboy army prepares to go into battle against the plotting villains troops. "Why should tonight be any different?" responds Stone.  Although revolution isn't really on this movie's mind or in the mind of the movie goers, it's at least a slick commentary that puts some balance on what is really going on. It's part hypocrisy and conflicted rhetoric, a staple of commercial hip-hop, and in fact the movie closes with, the President of the United States quoting Tupac. 

The US president, played by Peter Strauss is patterned after John Kerry who script writers thought would win the presidency. The president in the movie believes we must make our enemies our allies. The secretary of defense disagrees, which is why he wants to assassinate the president and half his administration. No political parties are named, but the secretary of defense is patterned after current man, Donald Rumsfield. The premise of the movie is apparently that within the nation's security apparatus there is a deeper, more lethal level of counter-security agents whose job it is to defeat the regular security guys should they turn traitor. The entire defense establishment is corrupt, and the president is rescued by some brothas' from the hood but in the end they get no credit after they capture a tank and use it to blast their way into the Capitol, at which point I assume but cannot be sure that the media finally notice that all hell is breaking loose in Washington, D.C.. During the heavy media covered State of the Union Address, there's not even a scroll across the bottom of the screen: "Snows blanket New York... Armored vehicles attacking U.S. Capitol... Illinois 98, Michigan 91 in OT ...". Just wondering: Are there any kind of security arrangements around the Capitol building? You know, TV cameras or security guards who might notice when heavily-armed bands of warriors dressed like Darth Vader are using rocket launchers. It's totally unrealistic but what else is new.

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